did you really think that i woudlnt answer all your ask tony questions?

lets rock.

zona: when are you going to bitch slap some cubs for wasting my nephew Ted’s stellar performance on the mound in his last start?

as a cubfan if i ever were to have bitchslapped any cubs, this wouldnt be the year that i would begin the practice. this team is getting it all together. im very glad that the pitching is relatively strong and deep and healthy.

raymi: why won’t losers on the internet just leave me the heck alone?

when youre on top youre visable for everyone to aim at. when youre topless it’s even worse, id imagine. but you might be forgetting that all the winners on the interwebs love you massively. even pitt. or do you consider him one of the losers?

Andrea: What’s been your favorite birthday so far?

when i turned 90 i was sorta freaking out. it was the first time that i ever felt really old. fortunately i had a hot girlfriend and a lot of friends around. so the friends got my old band, Chopper One, together and i found a Pokey costume and we jammed, and afterwards my girl got us a little hotel room and she dressed up like a dirty girl and we ordered chinese and got wasted and loved each other until the morning. sure beat the time when i turned 21 in florence and stepped in poop.

Pete: Asking Tony… Are you a fan of self-publishing books? Any tips for someone looking at doing it?

im a huge fan of self-publishing books. i cant say i understand the real book publishing world, but i truly love the self publishing world. i have been relatively successful with Cafe Press. the price is right, they’ll ship to your readers, you have full control over every aspect of the book. if you have a relatively popular web site or blog you dont even have to sell them through Amazon, just sell em to the people who already read your words. there are other companies out there like Blurb whose books ive seen and they look like… books. so we live in good days.

timmay!!!!!: have you met xeni? if so, where and when?

i met Xeni while we were panelists on the famous panel where Ev announced that Blogger just got sold to Google. she was beautiful, smart, taller than i expected, very well dressed, and an excellent representative of the blogosphere.

sass: Between which Olympic athletes (sports, or specific) do you think would have the hottest sex?

all these athletes seem pretty hot, but when Blogging becomes an olympic sport id like to see the canadian and american bloggers get to know each other in the olympic village.

Bigg Mike: What was your favorite concert/show ever?
How will you celebrate the cubbies world series victory…can i come? why don’t you get a dog? you seem like a dog person. Will obama win?

my favorite concert was the Replacements 1986 at the Roxy. Thelonious Monster opened and it was the best full on hard core rock show id ever seen before or since. and mind you ive seen pretty much every rock band who ever lived.

i hope to be in Chicago when the glorious day happens. right there on clark and addison, drinking an Old Style and letting God know that every other part of my life is extra credit now cuz my life would be complete.

i dont have a dog because i enjoy the freedom to jet to vegas any time i want, i enjoy the freedom to spend the night at a nice girl’s house any time i want, and i enjoy the peace of mind of knowing that when i come home there wont be turds or ripped up items awaiting me. animals should remain jailed in peoples back yards.

Carrie: Do you still read LAist every day? Do you think Zach has been doing a good job as editor?

i do and i love it. not only that but i talk about LAist almost every day at the Times. it remains a great example of what lots of blogs could/should be doing. i dont know what it is like to work under Zach, but the product that i read every day is pretty damn good. i love the LAistorys, i love how the news coverage has improved, but i miss the music coverage dominance. but thats probably my fault because i didnt leave a music editor behind, and music is tougher than most people think, which is why theres so few great music blogs in the world.

Sarah: What do you do when someone in your office doesn’t like you? Give them the evil eye or kill them with kindness? Why are good looking guys the worst ones?

ive had run ins with coworkers before. once i didnt even speak to the dude who sat next to me for months and months. it was juvenile and awkward. and it probably wasnt very healthy physically or emotionally. which is why i say go to lunch with the person and work it out. life is really short. and usually work is hard. no need to also have personal issues f’ing things up.

pretty boys are the worst because they dont have to work for it and makes them cocky. the only person who has been able to pull off cockiness is kanye. and maybe michael jordan.

lindsay: what’s your favorite restaurant in la? you can only pick one. also, who’s a bigger asshole: john edwards or eliot spitzer?

contrary to popular belief, ive got no love for john edwards. i believe in this very blog i gave him a hard time for cockblocking the chances of either the first female president or the first black president. if i recall i gave him a hard time for being a young white pretty boy with a dying wife at home and possible history was happening in his own party and he wanted to stick his … nose in it. now that he admitted to cheating on said dying wife, i say hes the bigger ahole.

my favorite restaurant is Kanpai on lincoln near the airport. great sushi. expensive though.

adriel: ooh i really like sarah’s question about coworkers. i’ve got a couple of em making my undies bunch these days. what’s one of the most important things i can teach my boy right now?

teach him how to dance, how to cook, and the importance of reading books. if he can learn to love each of these he will have a line of women around the block waiting for him.

its friday which means its go watch tsar at the viper room

(if you can get in)

it is also Ask Tony

as always feel free to ask your questions in the comments below.

topics on the table may include:

do i know how many houses i own?

am i really 16, therefore old enough to compete in the gymnastics?

do i agree with sass’s foolish decision to get a blackberry instead of an iphone?

am i shocked – shocked – that our LA Times critics havent said one word about our amazing olympics coverage, 25+ killer photo galleries, 40+ beautiful and informative graphics, and our gold medal worthy blog that has over 1,000 posts and is totally on pace to get 2 million page views this month? or do i think that some folks just love to hate on hard-working people?

am i starting to believe the hype that the cubs are the most well rounded team in baseball?

do i understand how the usa hoops team with all those all stars dont win 400-18 every game?

Tsar plays tonight at the internationally renowned Viper Room!

homemmade video of “Silver Shifter”


from their PR hype truth-telling machine (from the future):

Tsar will be performing with Thomas on bass. Thomas is a good-looking and funny Austrailian musician-type friend of theirs that they met in just-pre-9/11 America while their bands were on tour together (he was in Vast, they were Tsar). He was hand-selected by Solomon to be Solomon’s replacement in 2004 (he learned the songs and everything), but then couldn’t do it, and none of them can remember exactly why, but it was a real good reason at the time. He is currently the touring guitarist for She Wants Revenge and experimenting with a beard.

Grow a beard NOW to show your support!

see you at the gig!!

suddenly i have a newfound interest in drawing

when i was in high school, every semester i took an art class. drawing, ceramics, art history, but for some reason never painting. drawing yes. hell yes. sadly as time went on i stopped. maybe its cuz i didnt have a sweet bar like “The Bronx Zoo” to practice my unreal skillz.

check out this sweet lede by Jessica Galt:

THE MAN had been flirting with the woman by the bar for a few minutes before blurting out, “Is that a gorilla mask between your legs?” She stared at him, silent for a moment, then grinned broadly and said: “You know, it really is.”

Myung Chung of our badass video team produced the video above and Jessica’s piece is here in the underrated Guide in a perfect example of teamwork in a lighthearted way to approach part of the artistic charm of LA.