thus, your ask tony answers:

josh: Tony – How does it feel to have been given ‘Priority’ moving privileges?

on one hand ive always felt totally special at the times. on the other hand when i first saw that sign the devil in my head said, those dev guys really pulled some strings to get me and linds to leave the 5th floor asap.

adriel: i want to find a date for a thingy next weekend but have no feasible prospects – no hotties at work, no crushes. any ideas?

send me a ticket and i will be there. unless somehow the cubbies can come from behind and shock the world.

lindsay: what will you name the cat i procure for you?

angus if its a dude. seacrest if its a girl.

Gage: any ideas on how i can get over my fear of flying?

flying makes no sense. true its human ingenuity at its finest, but its also insanity. even though im not afraid to fly i can see why others are. maybe one reason im not afraid is because i couldnt care less about my death, especially if it was some firey tragic one. you only die once. let them remember yr flight number.

sass: What do you think of blog archives of politicians putting their prospects in the sh**ter? Cuz y’know noone’s ever going to elect me for anything with my potty mouth.

i dont know how it is in canaduh but here in the states we currently have a president who was a drug taking alkie, we have two nominees who both admit to doing far worse things in their youth than swearing on blogs. politics is all about who you know, who you can wink at, and how much money you can raise. your march to prime minister will be a sprint. have no fear.

PatZ: Who’s the bigger maverick; the Hockey Mom or Joe Sixpack?

mavericks are like members of the mafia, if you call yourself one, you probably arent.

Will Campbell: Is the “cat” Lindsay plans on procuring for you a euphamism and can I haz priority cloud?

i dont even know what a euphamism is. but yes if youd like to move from the 5th floor to the 3rd very quickly its all yours.

zona: do you think Sarah was wearing the “good luck” crotchless panties I sent her for the debate?

seems like whatever you gave her worked. she was wrong on a bunch of things, but she wasnt the embarrassment that she was with that hard hitting katie couric.

timmay!!!!!: why does piniella always seem so crotchedy? doesn’t that sort of negative demeanor eventually have an effect on the team?

billy martin was an ass to his players. but he won. he didnt win after a few years because youre right after a while people dont respond to someone yelling at them. but for a short period of time it can have a positive effect, especially on millionaires, to motivate them. “sweet” lou led the cubs to the best record in the NL, i dont care how he did it, i just hope he can do it tonight, and tomorrow if there is a tomorrow.

timmay!!!!!: do you think it’s interesting that the word crotch appeared twice at 1:30 p.m.? (i don’t even know zona)

great minds share the gutter?

The Holywriter: Will Jonah really hang with me if I send that pro-voting vid to five of my friends?

has he ever lied to you before?

Amy: dear tony, were you born awesome, or is it something you have to work at every day?

i was born awesome. but then something happened and i lost my mojo. i rediscovered it in college when i met some amazing people including my first editor, who just happened to be a female. since then ive always tried to learn from my female editors, and it appears to be working out.

Mike: have you ever heard anyone else call nuclear weapons a deterrent?

i have. it makes me laugh every time. but im easily pleased since this makes me laugh too.

Phaedra: What is your Hallowe’en costume going to be this year?

Misty May-Treanor.

urbanhayseed: Is our season over?

i have a ticket to the game today, and it will be accepted. so no.

-k-: “Hud” or “Cool Hand Luke?”

Slap Shot

Sharp: What do you think of the Dalai Lama?

all glove, no hit.