hey its Sunday, which means it’s time for Tony’s Answers!

ive from Vegas

Gage: hey Tony… do you ever actually read my blog? AND…what’s the most successful ad campaign you’ve seen in your opinion? Least successful?

i do read your blog. not as much as i used to because i had to lay off crushing on canadians and focus on hollywoodians. but i like it, i like you, if we lived in the same town we would have had a torrid affair, and by now youd have dumped me and begun talking trash about me. i share your contempt for the beatles, btw.

the most successful ad campaign ive ever seen was for this carpet place in chicago. ive never had to order carpet in my life, but if i ever did i’d know what phone number to call – 588-2300… Emmm-pirrrre!

the worst ads are the sally struthers lets-help-the-poor-kids infomercials. theyre bad because they make me instantly search for the remote to switch the station cuz they make me bummed out and depressed in seconds. those commercials should be 3 seconds long “HELP US AHHHHHH! 1800HELPSOS

nk: For whom are you voting?

the sad part about living in California is our votes dont really matter. everyone votes the same. the big cities vote dem, the suburbs vote repub. and theres more people in the cities than in the burbs so cali elects dems. me, i usually vote for the people with the funniest name. something tells me that thats how the bush family always wins.

xtx: What should I ask you?

if i liked the picture of the young lady you sent me. the answer would be yes, she looked adorable.

Keira-Anne: What kind of questions do you think I’d get if I did an “Ask Keira” post?

probably ones concerning math and physics. since those are the ones i usually pass on. or tapdance around.

timmay!!!!!: can obama sue the entire republican party for defamation of character? is mccain clinically insane or just tired?? why does everything feel like a gigantic time suck these days??? will the dodgers bounce back???? anyone remember the angels?????

anyone can sue, but can he win? he’s better off trying to become president. mccain isnt insane or tired, hes just way older than he looks and campaigning takes a lot out of you. the internet has made time fly. blame al gore. the dodgers wont bounce back, they caught the cubs curse. f the AL.

Smelly Danielly: When you come to visit us in Vancouver (because I know you will again one day) what Italian dish do you want me to make your for dinner?

the only reason i eat so much asian food is because there arent any good italian places in LA. i will probably never go to vancity again, but if i did and if you wanted to make me an italian dish, i would eat anything you made because there isnt an italian dish i dont love.

JaG: Does my blog need a new look? Will you do that thing you promised me you’d do this weekend?

yes, more pics of your legs. no, im in vegas, and im a bad person.

bloopy: most people i know, as a kid, used to go to a particular restaurant for their birthday and, consequently, now put that place on a pedestal even tho’ they know it’s just another eatery. . . for example, my family used to always go to mcdonald’s for birthday celebrations so even today i don’t really think of mcdonald’s as fast food despite the fact that i know it is. . . do you have a place like that?. . .

when i was a kid there was an ice cream place called Farrels. they had this huge steel bowl of ice cream called The Zoo. something like 50 scoops of different ice cream in there with little plastic animals in there. theyd bring it out on a stretcher and clang this bell. then theyd sing. i think there were sparklers in the dish too. all your friends had little steel bowls and your mom would lop out all the ice cream into the bowls. there was always way too much ice cream no matter how many of your screaming friends youd bring. i think theres one remaining farrels around, in san diego. the worst city in america.

Ashley: Are you going to stalk me while you’re in Vegas this weekend?

im not much of a stalker. i dont even remember how to get to your old place, let alone your new place. but if youre in the caesars sports book on sunday morning then you can pretend im stalking you.

PatZ: Marvel, DC, or Pinky and the Brain?

mad, cracked, and crazy.

Jane: Any fetishes?

in shakespeares day the men would play all the roles of the women. i like to fill my house with women and have them act out my favorite shakespeare scenes. then i like them to cook fish and chips for me while wearing groucho glasses.

Mike: How the hell do I follow up that question?

you could have asked who jane is, since i have no clue. but you missed your shot, eminem.

Alys: If you were waiting in an airport terminal and the only seats available were between sets of people would you squeeze yourself between them or memorize when your flight boards and wait in a different terminal with more seats?

i think i understand your question, but im not sure. all i know is i dont fly as much as i used to, but lately ive found myself in middle seats and its a new level of annoyance. when i travel i like to have a sort of travel bubble. i like to have my music playing from my iphone. i like to play my psp. i like to have my sunglasses on and my hoodie up. the unibomber look, basically. when i get in the plane, i like to have a window seat with a pillow. i like to put the blanket over my head and pass out and sleep the entire way. the only need to stay awake is if theres a supermodel next to me who has forgotten her magazine or never learned to read. a few times i had a middle seat but no one showed up on either side. because of that i would never not get on a plane becasue of a seat assignment cuz you never know what might happen.

Phaedra: If you were getting hot and heavy with a purty , and once the clothes started coming off, you noticed she had some not-so-pleasant body odor. Do you just keep going, and breath through your mouth? Suggest a shower, cause chicks dig that. Send her stinky ass home.

ive been with a few girls who didnt smell like roses. i considered it payback for the times where im sure i didnt smell perfect either. also there was that stretch of time when i smoked and had terrible breath. those chicks never threw me in a shower or sent me home. of course they were angels who i didnt deserve, but regardless, im sure i have a few more stinky ones due in the future. play it like charles barkley: keep your head down and drive for the hole.

jessica: what blog(s) prompted you to write a post about fakerz on the internet?

definitely not yours. i love your blog about elgin, my only frustration with it is when you do your pictures by other elginites, they do what so many people on flickr do, they make their pics All Rights Reserved, as if their pics are so damn precious. some of those pics are great and should be spread among blogs, but that copyright is so cheesy that i dont even bother asking permission. i just blow it off entirely. but i love your blog, its awesome, you do great work, and its a great example of what people should do more of – writing about their town.

Kerry: Suspend the internation investment markets while they re-write the rules? good idea or not?

funny how they only rewrite the rules when the rich are the ones in trouble. theres been poor people dying forever, but they didnt get any rules rewritten for their benefit. the one good silver lining in this whole thing is, America might be forced to legalize marijuana, so that we could tax it and export it. its our smartest way to have a crash crop that could stabilize trade and get monies flowing back to the USA. plus it doesnt kill anyone.

Joe: Desert Island: Movie? Book? Album? One each. Also, best pair: Batman & Robin, peanut butter and jelly, Jordan & Pippen or Vincent and Jules from Pulp Fiction?

blues brothers, new testament, band girls money. my true love’s.

r/r: alright – I know in hockey there’s a little tradition to cheer for the team that knocks your team out of the playoffs – but you’re American, how does it work in baseball? I was glad to see the White Sox go. Are you cheerin for the Dodgers now?

hard to believe that hockey fans are more forgiving than i am, but i hold grudges. sometimes for ever. the padres broke my heart 24 years ago and because of that i want san diego to fall into the sea.

whats interesting is i have no ill will toward the dodgers. the dodger fans however were ruthless and soulless. all except for a young lady named angela who me and chris bought a beer for because she was so nice to me in the beer line. but the rest of them deserve some instant karma. plus i sorta like big butt ryan howard.