i dare you not to love this

when i was driving home from vegas a few weeks ago this kid, about that kids age, came up to me trying to sell me phone cards or some nonsense as a fundraiser for their school.

we were in the middle of nowhere, so it didnt surprise me that they needed fundraising. this girl talked so fast i seriously couldnt understand her – a lot like bro in the video. so i said, just talk normal to me. and she talked slower at first but then kicked into her talking points superfastlike. and i was all, check it, sales is life, but the secret of sales is to say things so people not only understand but wanna give you money.

she said, do you want a phone card?

i said, no but i wanna give me money.

and she didnt know how that fit into the script in her head.

so i said, just ask the people to donate $5.

she said, wanna donate $5? i said yes. and we were good.

update: sometimes you dont even need to ask. you just need to be.

i am so procrastinating doing laundry

isnt this the day of rest? shouldnt i be resting today? especially after what karisa put me through yesterday?

there i was hiding out in my underground lair. sure i was tweeting what a nice day it was and how i would not be participating in it. but i didnt think that that would turn into reverse psychology and inspire karisa to call me.

i didnt pick up the phone cuz i was talking to ms christine, who i hadnt talked too in a while now that shes moved to san dieger along with j9 and danielle k. why do all the good people move to such a rotten and horrible destroyer of dreams? even They know its a soulless terrible hellhole doomed to fall into the ocean when the Worthy One strikes.

then i was talking to my momma when i saw karisa calling A-Gain. i ignored that too because she never calls both the land line and the cell number as we both respect each others privacy and that would just be tantamount to phone stalking or something. plus she might not really be her, it could be a trap.

turned out it was a trap. she said she wanted to come over to get me my birthday gift. i said, i dont want any gift, that her driving me home on my birthday night on wednesday saved my life and that was a gift all its own. or a curse if youre my neighbors (cuz they got to hear me hurl). but i did say, but if you insist i would love a ride to the bike shop so i could get my bike fixed.

she was all, youre reading my mind. i was like, its so easy.

she came over, we threw the bike in the back of her truck, we drove to the bike shop and all was well. then she was all, hey im going hiking, wanna come?

karisa had super tight workout pants on. theres a reason there are laws against women salesfolk wearing workout pants. also i am not blind. i dont think ive ever been hiking in my life. so i said no. she was all, come on jerk. so we drove to runyun canyon and i kid you not, i was out of breath just walking up the hill to get to the gates of the canyon.

then when everyone went to the right, she was all, lets go up this way, which of course was the monster climb of all climbs. easilly the mt everest of hollywood hills. i asked if i could stop and she said no stopping. soon afterwards i asked if i could sit, she said TONY! right before one place she did say that i could stop for a quick second and get some water but i was dying so hard that it was hard even opening the bottle. this was a steep mountain filled with carcasses of dead mountain goats and the bones of sherpas from olden times.

then when we finally made it to the tippy top of the biggest mountain she said i could sit down. and when i did she took my camera and took funny pics of me basically dying from muscles being used that pro bloggers never use. ever.

after she said, ok im gonna run up that other hill, jog over to that house and run all the way around you as you walk down the back side. k bye!

it was pretty fun, gotta say. after we ate sushi, went shopping at target and saw flogging molly.

sorta the opposite of hiding out while recovering from a wild week.

pics to come. including yr answers to ask tony (so if you havent asked anything yet go for it). and a photo essay and maybe a pic or two from laundry.