top of the eighth, geoff geary comes in to relieve oswalt. fukudome is up. hes like a cross between matsui and ichiro plus some bad luck. pops to lee in shallow left. fukudome should fly to new orleans real quick after the game and get the curse off his bat. dee lee hits a 310 foot foul ball. next pitch is way outside, 1-2. derek k’s swinging at a high fastball. im gonna trade for him too. bros gonna hit .325 this year. dare me! milton bradley loves to swing, strike one. swings hard but gets jammed, bloop single? no, kaz grabs it. milton twists his ankle at first NOOOOO!

bottom of the eighth. milton bradley is ok. exhale, chicago. hes in left. marmol is in to set up gregg. damn hes got heat. kaz leads off. marmol looks like tiger woods but younger. kaz grounds to short. pudge takes ball one at his head. 1-2, marmol brings teh heat yo. i want two cokes now. and some ice cream, its opening day! i havent sat down the whole game. im typing on my laptop which is on the bed. grounder to the riot, two down. i wonder if the cubs would hire me to live blog. probably hell no is the correct answer. ooooh, what about live tweet? i called it. lance berkman is at 2-1. hes so very sleepy. 2-2. full count. they dont have a gun working so i will guestimate that one was 125 mph. fouled into the stands. that ball is now officially retired. good for it. ball four. retire that one too. me and karisa had steak the other night. when did she get pretty all of a sudden? carlos lee is up. hes fat. pinstripes dont become him. marmol is wild, its 2-0 on the all star. takes the first strike. nice change up evens it at 2-2. whiffle ball pitch. broke his bat – high foul to left field stands, aramis has a bead on it, the bat is flying to his side, it doesnt make it, foul out.

top of the ninth. score still 3-1. opposing teams only get one run off us. its precident now. its texas law now. aramis’s grounder eats up tejada, he picks it up and throws out the chug a lug ramirez. fontenot is tone tnof if youre harry caray. gregg is warming in the bullpen and spitting seeds. seeds of hate. he bloops one infront of carlos lee. bad communication between lee and tejada. dont they both parlez espanol? this lets the rookie of the year soto take a shot. wild pitch sends the second baseman fontenot to second base. check foul makes it 1-2. called k on the outside corner. ump has a date, apparently. the riot says work for it blue and takes it to 3-1. high ball four. michah hoffpaur pinch hits for marmol. bob tells us he had a good spring. he also tells us that cecil wasnt warming a lefty so the cubs have the advantage. good cuz on 1-0 but swings through it. michah slams it to right, pence gets it off one bounce, throws it to pudge at home, pudge is up the third base line, fontenot slides perfectly around him and touches home with his hand. cubs 4 houston 1. soriano flies to right.

cubs 4 tejadas 1

bottom of the ninth, kevin gregg comes in to close. hes got goofy glasses on. tejada gets his third hit of the day up the middle. blum is up. bob is saying gregg cant see so soto doesnt use fingers to call the pitch he touches parts of his bod. fly ball to bradley in the gap he touches it but cant hang on to it. runners on first and third. bradley may have over run it. pence is up, gregg throws some junk pitch for the first strike. is that a knuckler? did it again, 0-2. more junk, fouled. high fly to center, joey gathwait in for fukudome is under it. bro tags, run scores, only the bookie cares. bourne with one out and runner on first. drives it deep to center. ha! two outs. everybody get up! jason smith pinch hitting. looks like a meaner david justice. grounder to lee CUBS WIN!

top of the fifth: soriano leads off with a single past the aging tejada. everythings about how old it is with him. hit n run hit at kaz. 4-6-3 double play. koske doesnt get a breake. d lee pops up a hanging curve for the third out.

bottom of the fifth: how is pence up? then who was the lefty before him? good thing nothing in here is true. whatevs zam strikes him out. michael bourne strikes out too. zams on fire now. hes warmed up. four ks all in the last two innings len tells us. two outs with the pitcher up. good time for a beer. its opening day! worm killer back at carlos. 1-3. cubs forverz.

top of the sixth: there was an ad for meynards. i wanna have to buy mulch one day. milton bradley leads it up. cardinals blew a two run lead in the ninth to lose on opening day. nelson says ha ha. white sox got snowed out at the cell. could it get any better? me and the editor of the paper watched a pitch or two of the dodger game. just to hear vinny to see if he made the trip to diego. si. made the mistake of telling him im in eight fantasy leagues. he said what do you do for your day job? whoops. good thing blogs are up 4x over last year. milton pops to pudge. im eating thai food. palms thai. aramis is down 0-2 with one out. lots of people in the stands with those great old 80s jerseys. why would you ever stop that madness? fouls another one off. pops to second berkman squeezes it. two down. fontenot is 2-2 today batted .240 last year. we got him off the sosa trade len reminds us. grounds to second. 1-2-3.

bottom of the sixth: lyle lovitt is at the game. he sang the anthem. someone brought their baby to the game. way too close to the field sitting next to lyle to bring your baby, lady. you know how easy it is to forget you have a baby at a ball game? kaz has a lazy check swing called a strike. even the cubs announcers are saying its a bad call. toldya he plays like a stoner. focus up bro! pudge is up. pudge takes a high strike, asks the up where it was. up says over the plate amigo. tomorrows no beer day in toronto. so unamerican. pudge whiffs. thats six for carlos. sitdown-ey is six in spanish. berkman is up. top 10 pick in all of my fantasy leagues. sure doesnt looks scary in the box. looks like hes sleepy. goes full then walks him. only z’s second walk of the day, but now carlos lee is up, grounds to the riot and we’re out of it.

top of the seventh. might have to turn the busblog into the cubs blog. see if i can get everyone totally not reading. soto grounds out. im eating spicy mushroom coconat milk soup with chicken and shrimp fried rice. ive lost 2 pounds since being sick so im also drinking a real coke. its buzzing me. so hi hi hi. the riot takes oswalt to a full count. drives one into right for a single. oswalt should hit the showers. zam swings for the fences on 0-1 did you feel the breeze in canada? strikes out on the next pitch. alphonso grounds out quick.

bottom of the seventh. they have dancing girls on top of the dugout at minute maid enron field. the marlins have that too, right? tejada singles to lead off. this coke tastes good. not hunter pace is up. its geoff blum. dum nam. ball four high. take him out lou. zam takes it well. people boo cuz theyre ugly. zam tips his hat which is french for you aint scored on my ass all day so eat it.

aaron heilman from the mets comes in with no outs and runners at first and second with the tying run at home. i want another coke. 6-4-3 double play baby. now head for the exits, tex-its. low hitting michael bourne up with a dude on third. fouls the third pitch away its 1-2. hit 229 last year. fouls another off. i drafted him cuz he steals like crazy and hes gotta hit better than 229 this year. just dont start today. high chop has no business being a hit but bourne is so fast hes on first before it even bounces back to earth. run scores. pinch hitter for oswalt who i will now trade for because hes such a loser. michael cotts comes in to relief the met. jason michaels is the pinch hitter looks like buddy bell. goes to 3-1, which is the score now. full count. cotts the lefty digs in, ground ball to the hole at short, the riot double pumps and throws out the rookie.

cubs 2 – strohs 0

top of the third – fukudome strikes out. he batted .208 here last year. d lee gets it way up in the air, lee goes all the way to the wall. long out. milton walks. aramis sends my stolen base fantasy sleeper michael bourne to the warning track. cubs got wood but no runs. our seasons over.

bottom of third. len got an email from a unofficial cub historian. that was the fourth lead off homer to start a season for the cubs. the first was in 1888 when i was born. remember in 1994 when tuffy rhodes started the season with one? hit three that day, bob tells us. borne, michael bourne hits a single over short. he has an 86% stolen base percentage. dave clark is coaching third. another black coach. nice. perfect bunt by oswalt on 2-0. i woulda let him try to steal on that one. kaz is up. he looks like a latin ichiro. len was just saying how fukudome who is new to center was playing too deep, kaz bloops it to center, bourne to third, kaz to first. look out for the double steal. pudge rodriguez up. only guy who coulda gotten away with that nickname. strikes out. berkman grounds it to second. cubs rule

top of the fourth – fontenot hits an opposite field double. two for two for the day with geo soto up, who is also batting a thousand. who can stop us? we’re lucky to have len and bob. theyre not harry and lou but who is. but theyre fine. good sometimes. geo grounds to first moves mike over. the riot hit 307 last year. i’ll take that this year too from my #8 batter. hits one hard to right. hunter pence doesnt have a chance at home cubs score. zam grounds out.

cubs 3 – astros zip.

bottom of the fourth. carlos lee up. i hear he snores. pops up to d lee who is a refined gentleman. miguel the liar is up. zams pitch count is 50. hes on pace to take us to the ninth. rascal flatts vince gill and hootie will be in concert at wrigley in the summer. oh the humanity. miguel whiffs. zam for cy young. pence is tall. carlos curves one in at the ankel, check swing. pops to alfonso, one two three.

top of the first inning, soriano homers on the second pitch of the game. cubs are going all the way. bob brenly just said soriano is on pace to hit 500 homers this year. milton bradley looks good batting cleanup. what a lineup soriano, d. lee. fukudome, bradley, aramis, and d lee in there somewhere. youve come a long way, baby. bradley fouls one off at 3-0. like that.

cubs 1 – stros 0

bottom of the first. zambrano. id rather watch carlos zambrano pitch than all of the mlb pitchers combined. hes like a little kid in a big kids body. milton doubles up kaz on a great catch. kaz is sorta a stoner anyways. ends the inning.

top of the second. aramis leads off with a dinger. Enron Field baby. now mike fontenot gets a hit. whos on the mound, you momma? no its roy oswalt. throws 300 mph. no outs men on first and second, the riot slams one at berkman at first. diving catch moves the runners over. your boy zam is up. bro is the best hitting pitcher in baseball. hits it up the middle on a pulled in infield, kaz looks fontenot at third, he stops dead. kaz throws to first and zam shakes his head at fontenot. soriano broken bat ground out. oh well.

cubs 2- astros 0

bottom of second. miguel tejada lies about his age, creams a single past aramis. i dont see any bunting at enron field. not at least behind home plate. the economy? tejada thrown out trying to steal off a throw in the dirt. soto, the rookie of the year throws his old ass out. cubs baby. blum flies out to left. theres an ad on the left center wall that says busblog. no it says preminum beef cattle genetics. genetics? i was with you till then. cecil cooper manages the astros. nice to see black managers. d lee scoops out a crazy low throw.

not because of personalities or anything like that but because of technology.

and i was sick as a dog.

the biggest problem is im a poetry major and sometimes the blog editor needs to be something other than a motivator or an editor or a marketer or an SEO master, he has to be able to roll up his sleeves and fix complicated technical problems.

believe it or not, but sometimes i can actually do that stuff too, but last week i was checkmated by technology that i can’t even see. and i was coughing up my lungs.

so it was frustration atop frustration and it was hard to tell if it was my failings or my illness that was making me want to just curl up and die.

when people are put in a pressure situation there are usually two options: fight or flight. growing up as the only black kid in school in a pretty small community, flight was never an answer because the next day you were still black and now you were known as a coward, so fighting through problems was what i learned to do.

any of you who read the busblog back in the olden days, or read the comment threads of LAist saw that i never backed down from a fight. id attack anyone for any reason. sometimes foolishly, but rarely would i not confront what i perceived as an attack.

last week there was no one or nothing to fight. it was this faceless entity that was seemingly owned by no one, and there was no one to call, nothing to adjust, no one to ask for help.

and thats where prayer comes in. cuz youre never alone if you are a Christian. you always have someone to lean on. you always have a wildcard hidden in your shirt sleeve. you always have an ace.

the problem still isnt solved. but today i have peace of mind, mostly because i am no longer hacking and sneezing and feeling like a hundred bucks any more, which has helped me think clearer. and it reminded me that there is someone upstairs who loves me. dumb old me. and he wants my crap to work too.

it was gorgeous today in LA and i wish you were here.

has a blog!?!?

featuring some of his latest short stories, the author of Tund and the critically acclaimed Smell has breached the interwebs – perhaps inspired by obamas trip to Prague?

there is joy in mudville, as stories like “Dagger” can now find a worldwide audience. an excerpt:

The sun fell down on California. Inside a large beach villa, lights flared. The place belonged to Pete Dagger, all-star American writer.

Dagger was among the biggest of the writers, perhaps the largest of the era. He was a top multi-millionaire popular artist who was loved by the critics. He was huge with the academics, who sucked from his marrow, and with the underground, which was hot and bothered by his slashing, ripping style and bottomless defiance.

Like many of the greats, Dagger was no genius-come-lately. He had been recognized only after years and years of surviving on ketchup soup and kool-aid, after years and years of struggle up mountains of scorn and indifference. He had survived the painful years of short-story writing; the dabbling in “journalism”; the job stints as dishwasher, data-input man, and motel clerk. He had overcome the harrowing years of hostility and suspicion from friends, colleagues and family. He had prevailed despite his stabbing bouts of doubt; his frightening drunk sprees; a general case of self-loathing.

Few critics had initially discerned Dagger’s particular epochalness. His first book, Copper’s Gold, had received vague, if somewhat polite, notices in the small number of journals that chose to review it (many a career was in fact badly tarnished by the early failure of critics and editors to identify the breadth of Dagger and his achievement). The public response to this sterling volume was similarly rather sluggish, and initial hardback sales of Copper’s Gold petered out at about 910,000 copies.

However, Dagger’s second book, the cutting, bittersweet masterpiece The Sun, Hey, Strawberries, was an instant global paperback best-seller, prompting a renewed wave of interest in Copper’s Gold. The first book had mounted a keen comeback, soon overtaking the second on the sales charts – and to the amazement of Dagger and many others, Pete Dagger had become all the proverbial worldwide rage. With critics from Maine to Madagascar suddenly struggling to say enough good things about these two textual jewels, Dagger was inexorably propelled to the summit of literary regard, a position he maintained to the present day.

read all the rest here on Thor’s little nook on the web. welcome aboard, sailor.