its why i drink

because if i was sober all the time id think things like

why am i the one who gets to go to all these great shows
and drink with these hot chicks
and work at these cool places
and eat these great foods
and puke up these exotic cocktails
and get locked up by these unforgiving cops
and bailed out by these strange strangers
and represented by these expensive suits
and tried by these foolish prosecutors
and hung by these very sweet jurors
and scolded by these backwards judges
and driven home by these speeding limos
and tucked in by these naughty nurses
and woken up by these clicky clear heels
and left alone by these heartless heartbreakers
who only leave a drop of orange juice
which i drink like a parched man in the desert
and dream of canada as i drift back asleep

cuz what i really wanna do is direct.

thats not who i think of when i think of me.

and yes thats me about to host a panel discussion about social media.

yes thats the orange county offices of the la times.

yes thats a standing room only crowd of our OC advertisers.

and yes some were also from ventura, and yes some had come in all the way from palm springs

among others on the panel was the cofounder of sprinkles

yes there were sprinkles cupcakes in the house for all to enjoy.

no i didnt have one because yes i was nervous like nobodies business

yes i like to be nervous sometimes, which is why i like to chase girls

but no i dont like to be nervous at work so i shook it off and got to business

and yes i was glad that i had to cover the Wolfmother secret show at the Roxy early in the afternoon so i could shake off the nervousness that i felt earlier.

and yes i was frickin hot in the OC.

$75.

Director Spike Jonze, screenwriter Dave Eggers, and actors Catherine Keener and Max Records will also attend and participate in a Q&A after the screening.

or $200 if you also wanna go to the after party.

god i love LA

via carolyn kellogg

although the news is sad, i tip my hat to the LAT for having this cover today

even though the news hit so late at night.

nowadays when everyone has a faux complaint about actual newspapers,

this morning 3/4 of a million Los Angelenos had the breaking news

waiting for them on their doorsteps.

even though the news happened when many of them were already in bed.

heres a new one by Giant Drag, which used to be a duo, but i guess annie was serious about kicking bro out.

anyways i dont like this video

in fact its the perfect example of the video being way worse than the song

even though they tried so hard

to be exactly like all the bad vids of the 80s.

and annie looks like shes trying to cop lauren rockets look.

i dont blamer.

but if i ever got captured behind enemy lines and they shoot me up with it
in hopes that i will give away state secrets

and after they beat me and fail at their mission

and as the blood continues to drip down my face
and my head pounds from over stimulation

i hope the ringing in my ears sounds like this

fine!

mary writes: my boss [at a small company where i can’t even check gmail at lunch] asked me to sign my contract by tomorrow morning. on Friday i hear back if i get a job at ABC. i don’t know whether to sign it so i have rent money fo shizzle or not sign it, leave and hope i get the ABC gig.

i dont know what to do because it’s just a matter of TWO days but i’ve pushed signing the contract as long as i could. thanks. ps i want you BADLY.

theres an old saying “a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.”

however theres an older saying that goes, “if the bossman wont let you check your gmail then youre not working in the ideal workplace.”

so id tell your current boss this, “When I make a commitment to someone, I want that commitment to be rock solid. I want my boss to know that i am serious about the job for as long as we have agreed to work together. And I want to work in a place that really understands me, and a place where i can grow. Therefore I’d really like just a few more days to sign anything.”

I know your boss might feel like he’s given you enough time, but if you say “Monday you will get your answer, i promise.” then what can he do? cant fire you.

he could pout, but whatevs.

only if he literally cries are you in trouble.

so i say delay the process till you see if ABC is really interested. and if you like ABC better than where you are at, then jump ship.

one thing you should know about this world, only the bloggers are loyal. everyone else is out for themselves. other thing you should know: the world is crazy right now. you should look out for your best interests.

be honest. be a good person.

but most of all be good to yr self.

ps nice dirty feet

place was more packed than ive ever seen The Vista, and this was a monday night

now im as big of a Quentin fan as youre gonna find, i have kill bill 1 and 2 posters on my wall, and i went to Pulp Fiction with stacy goodner on the day it came out.

and i gotta say, i wasnt really feeling this one.

way too long. someone needs to edit my man. and i dont say that as someone with ADD

i used to have a teacher who said “the only thing better than a really good short story, is a really good long story.”

but some stories are fine being 2 hours. they could have easilly trimmed a half hour outta this bitch and really gotten the nitty gritty of the climax down.

instead it got lost in the haze of the tarantino stuff. whatever that stuff is.

i know im gonna sound like a Company Man, but the LAT review by Kenny Turan hits the nail on the head (or bashes the nazi with a baseball bat). when i left the film my date said whattya think and i said “reminds me of an underfed thoroughbred horse – great legs but a saggy middle.”

and sure enough thats what Turan said too: “Despite nods to notions like Jewish revenge and the power of cinema, the director has paid so much attention to the film’s peripherals he has neglected to provide a center worth embracing. You can raise B pictures to A picture status, as Tarantino has made a career out of doing, but giving them A picture value is not so easily done.”

with that said the acting is superb. especially Christoph Waltz, who plays The Jew Hunter, a villain so creepy and scary not by his actions but by his intellect. a subtlety that when Q is on target is what makes him shine.

but spaghetti western is what he wanted in this film, so thats what he got. C+