you were cute for a little while.

then you helped spark the largest fire we ever had ever

and i think on the last day of summer this hot girl made me pull my back.

im so old, america. sometimes i take the elevator up one flight of stairs.

i was walking with this dude the other day up the stairs and he was outta breath after three flights.

it was 10:30pm and this girl was playing with her hair and flipping the channels and she was all i really want a double double with cheese.

i was all, lets get some in n out then. and she was all, no i dont wanna put on my clothes, its too hot.

i could see her point because fine as she was, she shouldnt have to put on her clothes. she should just be allowed to spread joy everywhere she goes.

so i said i’ll get you a damn double double with cheese.

and i drove up the 101 cuz i was like maybe the universal city one isnt crowded. but i got close to sunset so i said ah the tourists are probably all flying home tonight.

so i tried that one and the line was 14 cars deep. but they had this dude taking your order even if you werent anywhere near the squawk box.

he had a menu on his clipboard and a wireless punch the order pad thingie on his deal. double double with cheese combo and a diet coke. TWO diet cokes. $8.50 bro said and went to the next car.

i sat there listening to AM radio and tried to figure out, if the guy in the front of the line ordered 13 cars ago, why isnt he just paying in window 1 and picking up in window 2 – whats the delay? theres always a delay?

so i tweeted it. but the line was moving too fast. right as i was gonna tweet i was about to pay. then as i was about to hit send i was getting my food.

i was the delay.

now our sheets have a little bit of grease on em.