in fact there was a time when i was a virgin

it was during that era that i met an amazing blonde girl at a rock show.

her friend worked with me at the record store and i was all your friend, tell me she doesnt have a boyfriend. turned out she didnt. so i said tell your friend no matter what she cant say no to me when i ask her on a date.

she said, teller yourself and gave me her phone number.

now to be honest, i dont know how anything worked out back in those days because no one had cell phones: you actually had to call a number and hope that the beautiful young lass was home when you called.

else you had to leave a message.

and in those days you couldnt leave a message and review it and try again if you sounded like a shmuck. in fact the odds were pretty good that, since there was no such thing as call waiting, that the owner of the phone and answering machine, was listening to you leave the message live as you left it. call screening they called it.

somehow i got her on the phone. somehow teenage tony even got a date with this native californian girl. and somehow there we were at the movies and then at the fatburger sharing a shake.

and then, somehow, there we were making out in the back seat of my grandmothers cadillac off a street in westwood village.

somehow things were going so fast, faster than id ever expected, cuz to be honest, i didnt think id even get her on the phone.

life will throw you curveballs america. no question about that.

but sometimes life serves up something so wonderful and beautiful and sweet

right over the plate

that you dont trust it.

and you just stand there with your bat in your hands

frozen.

thanks to the miracle of facebook, the other day that friend friended me on facebook, and i snooped around her friends to see if that amazing blonde girl really existed

or if it was just a figment of my ridiculously creative imagination that my memory had labeled

natural blonde who reminded me of jennifer jason leigh in fast times

and there she was.

the second to last girl who ever knew the innocent tony pierce.