had to buy $800 worth of tires today so i did some ubering

berniefirst guy i got was a college basketball player who kept to himself.


then i got these two college freshmen girls visiting here from an ivy league school.

we talked about the OJ trial and social media and then i dropped off one of them and it was just me and the other.

i asked her if she liked being in college.

she said she did but it has been a bit of a culture shock because she went to an all girls private school in manhattan and

she was raised believing in girl power

and men and women being equals

but as soon as she starts going to college she hears her cohorts talk about how

they want a wife who will stay home and raise the kids

she said like all of the dudes are like that.

and she was all, hey why do you think im at college? to learn to change a diaper?

i said you know what, youve gotta keep that up.

i told her, when i was in college it was the women who taught me the most,

especially all the things i was completely wrong about.

i said, beat it into the boys.

we need it.

then she told me one of her classmates is donald trumps youngest daughter.


i was like, wow, what a perfect name.

we’re not beverly hills dogs

beverly hills dogswe dont have to just sit there

waiting for our chance to run.

waiting on the benz to slow down over the speed bump

or worse, looking at trees but thinking about a bowl of wet food by the garage door.

the world is our fire hydrant.

there are so many strange butts to sniff

grass to roll around in

full moons to yap at

squirrels to chase

balls to fetch

trucks to get smooshed by

holes to tunnel down

sticks to break

walls to stain

nuts to lick

and babes who wanna pet us.

aint no reason to sit there and watch the world go by because like all those famous ppl sang

we are the world

we are the children

we are the ones playing with julio down by the school yard.

theres no extras in this game called life.

so get ready

cuz thats another speed bump ahead

i was driving home from work last night minding my own business

the poorly educatedlistening to the results of the elections coming in.

and they cut to Donald Trump making a victory speech because he had just won some big speech.

and he went on and on and on and there werent any commercials or interruptions

it was just the GOP frontrunner talking.

and talking.

and it dawned on me that CNN, which I was listening to, is in the ratings business. and as long as people were tuned in they were happy.

and things like debates and chat shows before and after the debates and candidates like Donald Trump are low-budget easy-to-produce television (and radio)

which, as we are seeing, can bring in much bigger ratings than anything they’ve ever produced before.

sorry, Anthony Bourdin.

but then it occurred to me that maybe airing as much Donald Trump as possible for as many ratings as possible might not be the best thing for the country, nor is it the most balanced or responsible journalism. arent there others in this race? shouldnt the public know just as much as the other names on the ballot?

or is this all about ratings, which means this is all about money, which means once again heres an organization who cares far more about the bottom line than

silly things like the environment


alternative energies

reproductive rights

and all of the things that donald trump doesnt talk about because those things fly right over the heads of the people who are tuning into him insult the height and energy levels of his opponents?

in a perfect world all of the politicians would get the same amount of air time. but sadly it seems like many of these cable news operations has no interest in that sort of perfect world.

it seems their perfect world involves the yuuuugest ratings they could ever get no matter what.

so i turned off the radio, pulled over, and bought 3 double doubles. because who cares. right?