basically if you drive a lot of hours and take a lot of trips they’ll give you a bonus.

in order to take a lot of trips i have to take uber x calls instead of just uber select calls because there arent enough select calls for me to get that bonus.

so the majority of the rides i gave this week were uber x and when i do these deals i see how little uber x drivers are making on a ride and it makes me wonder who could afford to drive any more.

$3 for a 3 mile ride that took probs 5 minutes to get there, 3 minutes to wait and 11 minutes of travel? the calls are not bam bam bam by the way, on weekends like this, there are a lot of drivers out there, and the good people are pacing themselves so they might not be going out every night.

fortunately for me my longest ride was on select and i made as much on that one ride as i made most of the night.

i loved pretty much everyone i drove. thats what makes it worth it.

– super dark skinned swedish(!) model here in LA for the first time. “just take me to the stars on the sidewalk”. as we drove she told me she wanted to go dancing. i said white or black music. she said black. i said playhouse. she said where is it. i said theres stars in front. when we got there the marquee said Puff Daddy she said i love you. i said i know. and when she got out i said “hey dough” and she was all Very Good!

– pretty girl from buffalo grove who says manny pacquio’s entourage works out at her gym and they are quite manly.

– two gay gentlemen all dressed up, one with a cape, on their way to a wedding at the Arboretum in pasadena. we all discovered that none of us had ever been there before. they all met at the LA gay mens choir. i told them hurry tell the Dodgers you wanna sing the anthem. how could they say no?

– two laughing teens (14, 15) getting out of the Starbucks. we devised ways of robbing banks. they said small banks are key. i asked what about the ink exploder, how do you prevent that? they said, lots of coins. COINS?!

– a well dressed woman who had just had dinner with her ex at the Desert Rose on Hillhurst, there was an old man jazz trio AND they were showing the game inside.

– a beautiful woman who had worked at uber since pretty much the start and who had just left the company who had nothing but good things to say about everyone. she thanked me for my service.

– two bros headed to a sports bar. i said are you from The City? they said yes. i told them i lived on Haight back in the day. they asked lower or upper. i said lower, near noc noc. they said across from Molitovs? i said it was called The Midtown then. they said holy crap, we sat on your porch! and they just may have. they said did you ever go to the liquor store? i said the liquor store ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOUSE, DO I LOOK MORMON? they said yea. i said the place run by Mohammaed and his son Mohammed? they said yes and laughed and laughed.

and i hit my goal by 12:45am.

they took all my water, they pouted when i said i didnt have an AUX cord

they lied about their age

the one next to me said she was going to UCSB, i asked which dorm are you in

she said 3B

they refused to tell me who they were voting for

when i passed by Loyola Marymount High i said, hey isn’t that the school that teacher was accused of sex crimes?

they said no no no thats Marlborough get your facts straight!

they said they were going to a white party

i said that sounds racist

they said no its because there will be a black light there and the white shows up better

i said that still sounds racist

they asked for gum

they said tell us everything about you.

i said im old enough to be your granddad.

they said noooo you look 30.

i said drake is 30, are you saying i look like drake?

for once they were quiet.

they left the bottles in the back of the car like it was the garbage

they begged me to add and tag them on instagram

and then they unfriended me after i did.

i miss them all.