she said my whole life has been a lie. will you marry me?

tightrope wedding

i said do you renounce your past?

she said yes YES!

i said do you take back all the horrible things youve said about me?

she said oh god yes!

i said will you go back in time with me?

she said ummmm sure!

i said will you go back in time with me and get hitched in Europe?

she said, fuck yeah

i said will you get married on a tightrope with me in the past when everything was black and white?

she said this is exactly why i want you.

i said, wait till you see where we go for the honeymoon

i interviewed a great photographer yesterday for work

just be coolnext week we will publish it.

he’s lived, in many ways, a blessed life, and i told him that

he didnt deny it.

he got to hang and work with warhol, mae west, groucho

i asked him about new technology and did he adapt to it.

he said he had to, but he also leaned on his assistants to do that sort of thing.

he said he loves the dark room and thinks all young photographers should spend some time in there

i asked if he still spends time in there.

he said no.

i asked if there was ever a picture that he didn’t take?

he said i dont know what you mean.

i said at the oscars this year i was running around trying to find leo dicaprio so i could snapchat him real quick for the kids, and as i was looking i saw sly stallone at the bar

and he looked totally dejected because he didnt win in his category

it had been 40 years since he was last nominated. and there he was with a beer on the bar. not drinking it. and he was looking right at me with his sad eyes

and he was all alone. and i could have taken the picture and it would have been great

the ultimate agony of defeat pic, but i felt so badly for him that i didnt take it.

i said have you ever been in that situation?

he said, yes, i was once having dinner with audrey hepburn…

if theres one thing i love love love love love about my job and hollywood and beverly hills and LA

it’s that people can always top my stories.