but then there were all these strings attached as to whom i could bring

theyre trying to set me up with someone in the agency who is nice

and smart, and easy on the eyes

if you like that sorta thing

but shes super bossy and judgemental and plays things waaaaay too safe if you ask me.

she keeps asking me why i dont have a house

and why my apartment is better furnished

i told her that some things deserve attention and other things dont.

i told her that im laser focused right now.

when i get home i make sure the cats have steak in their bowls

and theres plenty of gingerale in the gingerale fountain.

then i look at the kitty litter to make sure their poops are blue and green

then i look in the fridge and make sure theres plenty of liver and bacon and apple cider.

whats the difference between apple cider and apple juice she asked me once.

and i said there are some things that deserve attention and other things dont.

then i told her i turn on my bedroom tvs and fire up my xbox and ps4

and she asked why do you need both game systems.

i told her, are there only blondes and brunettes running around? she said what?

i said there are more than just those two systems, you know.

and i said then i switch on the ceiling fan and open the window and guess what, im about 80 percent satisfied with life right there.

she said what about love?

i said, are you the pokemon of love that i better catch or someone else will get it and live forever and ever in utter happiness

and she couldnt say yes so i said, then you probably should either grab a joy stick

or order us some soul food because this is the part of my day where i take off my pants.

and thats how i lost my tickets to Boston tonight