keira-anne from canada-eh asks what the heck

chris with mickey mouse

keira-anne writes: What the heck? You were holding out on me. I had no idea there was a Dodgers Mickey at Dodger Stadium!

there isnt. and there never was. it was all trick photography.

but there once was…

in the year 2010 major league baseball’s all star game was played in anaheim stadium, which is a few miles away from a certain Land.

circling the stadium were Mickey Mouses painted in the colors and logos of all of the teams.

vandals destroyed all but two of them: everyone’s favorites, the Cubs and

the extremely suspicious Dodgers.

the Cubs donated theirs to a Chicago-area children’s hospital

and the Dodgers tucked theirs away in the basement of the Alamo.

weirdly, the basement of the Alamo has a Higgs-Bottom escalator that runs directly into the basement of Dodger Stadium

Mickey LA gang signand the other night after the Guns n Roses show, my buddy Chris and I were roaming around the basement of Dodger Stadium and remembered about this superfast escalator to Texas and seeked it out.

sure enough, right behind a door that said Next Week’s Dodger Dogs was a hole with a ladder that brought us to the Higgs Bottom transporter and in less than 10 seconds we were in the basement of the Alamo.

Chris brought a beer with him to see the effects of beer after particle transfer travel: it turns flat, but gets colder

after rummaging around the Alamo we took a picture of the birthday boy, took a picture of where Ozzy peed on the Alamo (not pictured), took a picture of where Pee Wee took a tour of the Alamo, and then we zipped back to Cali.

heres what i can tell you. youd think the Alamo would be cooler. also, youd think a Dodgers Mickey Mouse would be displayed like all the time.

are the Dodgers and the Mouse mad at each other for some reason?

do kids just lose their damn minds when theres a Mickey Mouse statue right in front of their eyes?

is the Dodger Mickey Mouse super bad luck and thats why they shipped it to Texas in the middle of the night?

none of these questions will ever be answered, sadly. but the next time youre in San Antonio, you’ll know how to get to LA in seconds.

de nada

when Pablo Picasso was 15 he painted a self portrait

pablo picasso

and they were all, damn Pablo Picasso that’s some badass shit
and he said si because he is Spanish.

when Pablo was 25 he painted another self portrait that was much different than what everyone else was doing at the time.

and they were all dammmmmn Pablo, are you ok? where is your control, your contours, your shading your technique?

and he said, i am in full control, my countours are exactly where they should be, my shading is better than ever

and my technique will be copied more than anything else ive ever done before.

and they sent a doctor over

and pablo picasso said i will shove a paint brush in a place you wont enjoy unless you leave here immediately

but he said it in French because is sounded so much prettier in that tongue.

when Pablo was 95 he painted a new self portrait.

and they said, heres all the money in the world, that is the craziest

coolest, weirdest, wildest, most amazing portrait

of Vincent Van Gogh we have ever seen.

and he died

with a smile on his face.

be weird.

stay weird.

die weird.

she said how come you don’t write about your friends very much

my living roomi said i dont?

have i told you i have the greatest friends?

theyre smart and funny and beautiful and some even made beautiful little ones.

they motivate me and inspire me and fill me with joy whenever i am around them.

soon i will be going to my favorite place in the world with some friends i have known since high school and even before that.

but lots of times i hang with friends ive known since my first days at college.

and often i wish i was hanging out with them more because they might be the best people on earth.

i do believe in God and i do believe in Heaven and if i get to make it to Heaven and get to talk with God

i will not at all be surprised if he tells me, tony, you had the dream team of friends.

the people you got to learn from and rock out with and drink and smoke and eat and travel with

those were the best we had.

you are part of them.


crazy ass you.

and thats why you all stick together and float from sea to shining sea together like migratory birds.

the home you live in was first found by one friend who then handed it over to another and then to you.

the girls you kissed often were kissed by other friends first.

as it should be.

the clothes you wear the music you listen to the books you read have all been vetted by your friends and analyzed and when you all move back to isla vista, you will play those songs and talk about those books

and together you will share in the one thing that ties you all together:

freaky love.