the football team played a game that had started at 11am for some reason.

no one knew why because they were playing Utah State so at the best the good people of Utah only had to turn on the tv at noon.

11am was way too early for my passengers, white ones, black ones, asians, they all said that they set their alarms to wake up

but failed and just slept in.

we bonded.

what sort of country do we live in where a man has to set an alarm to wake up to watch a football game being played literally in my backyard?

SERIOUSLY they said.

in one ride i had four guys all from china. they were going to the grocery store. had only been here for a month.

can you imagine? only been in america a month and you are living in south central and going to USC

multiple culture shocks all happening at the same time.

they were all roommates.

they lived in a luxury apartment complex for usc students. im curious, so i asked them,

hey how much do you pay?

one of them said $850.

i said per room?

they said, no we share a 2BD, so it’s $850 each.

i said, thats $3,400 a month?

you can buy a house for that.

they just laughed and nodded and repeated me.

picked up all these black girls. so i turned on the black girl station.

drake comes on and one of them starts singing to it.

i was all, drake is playing at the forum, why arent you pretty girls there?

they were like, tickets are $200!

i said, thats what men are for.

they said, aint no men up in here.

just trifling little boys.

and much later did it occur to me that i should have given them the chinese boys’ number.