is it a series of tubes?

is it a fancy house, a swappable wife, a six figure sports car in the garage

the ability to get on national television and lie and lie and lie during a job interview?

or is life about ignoring all the crazy bells and whistles

and realizing that the highest plane of human existence is helping others?

i was driving the kids around usc yesterday and i had this incredibly beautiful junior business major in my car

and she was super stressed out.

any time her phone alerted her that someone had just sent her a text message she quickly grabbed her phone

like it had just shocked her bare legs.

she told me that she was worried that soon she would have to try to find a job.

i said, “obama has fixed all that. a biz degree from SC pretty much guarantees that you’ll be hired right away.”

she said, “all obama has done is create blue collar jobs, though.”

i was like, “you wanna be VP of a company the year after you graduate?”

and she looked at me like i knew how to accomplish just that.

but when it dawned on her that it was rhetorical, she sullenly looked out the window

at the passing Chipotle

and sighed the sigh of a 19 year old

who will Never be able to afford those Louboutins.

like ever.