theres been pros and cons to jeanine not sleeping on my couch any more.

pros are when a dallas cowboy cheerleader tap tap taps on my window i can whisper

meet me at the front door gurl!

cons are: my house is a mess, i havent eaten well, i go out to buy lunch, the dishes are piling up, and the cats are very very sad.

so yesterday i went to lunch with the new girl and i saw whole foods had turkey dinners in the hot serving area. i got turkey breast, mashed up sweet potatoes, green beans, and my favorite: a whole boiled egg.

within minutes of eating it i knew something terrible had happened in my belly.

it was as if the electoral votes in my gut had decided that they were going to turn into rocks instead of energy and my poop chute blocked up and my pee hole went on strike.

then i had to do some top level computer back end business and the only guy who could help me was in an all day and all night meeting

i could feel myself aging right there at my cubicle.

i wanted to go straight home but it was ben’s bachelor party at the HMS Bounty next door to the Gaylord Hotel.

i knew a lot of my friends who i hadnt seen in a while would be there like ken and ken and brendan and when i got there i got a text message from gregg who was in town and had scheduled a time for us to talk about the busblog redesign.

had i double booked?

where has my mind gone? could i blame the stomach? could i blame the cubs? trump? i could only blame myself. we rescheduled. but boy did i feel like a huge jerk. and my belly felt like there was a black hole spinning in there. something was happening but it was hollow and refused to get extracted.

WHO WANTS TO END UP IN THE TOILET WHEN YOU GET TO MAYBE BE COVERED IN BASEBALL STEAKS?

i threw it a curve by ordering the fish and sticks. it was hipster night at the bar and mama mia did a few of the ladies dress up perfect. but my belly was all, we may not even let you stand up straight, whaddya think of that?

got to bed early.

woke up late. got cleaned up, drove thru BK Lounge and ate some breakfast sandwich.

as i drove to work i saw a young woman pushing a cart with recyclables. she was garbage picking. i stopped when i got to her and offered her my hash browns. she gladly accepted.

that made me feel good. but a mile away my gut woke up. angry. Nebraska was on the cd player. you were in my heart. i called my boss and said i was gonna have to work from home. she was cool with it. so i turned around and here i am in my pjs listening to Dylan and thinking of some good stuff to post.

and dreaming of a quickie nap soon.