for here is what happens when you die:

if you werent a total jerk to people

you get to fly

theres pie

you have the most incredible body ever

but people know you because of your heart.

like the shade of color it is

how strong it pumps

what some of your interesting veins look like

if it knows any jokes

what sort of beer it brews

how much it really cares about the less fortunate

and of course, if it believes a woman has the right to decide what happens with her body.

you’re really good at skateboarding in heaven

and skiing and surfing

and the water is always warm

and your soda never loses its carbonation.

to eat, they make you star in musicals, but you kick ass at singing and dancing

and you remember all of your lines always.

afterwards you have to kiss your way out to the alley

where theres a limo waiting

made of pizza