and considers you their friend

if they send you pics of their naked body covered in either

shingles

herpes

stress rash

sun rash

BDSM bites

and/or panic attacks.

for some reason Mary thinks I’m a doctor.

far as i know her man is a world renowned surgeon, but me she sends her gross pics to.

but i’ll take it because i have nothing better to do than sit in bed with a differnt hot blonde doing gross google searches as the tv flickrs and the cats peek under the closed door and the wind

blows

and the trucks back up outside

beep beep beep beep

called my city representative yesterday.

got his lackey.

actually got the lackey’s assistant.

that dude DID NOT want me to leave a message, but i convinced him to allow it anyways. i left a message.

dude left ME a message the next day which was full of baloney.

one thing i like about Mary is she isn’t full of baloney. at least not to me. which is something that i also consider respectful.

when people feed me bs i consider it this:

Tony, I know you’re not a dummy but i’m hoping on this one topic you are, so heres a ton of malarkey im gonna toss at you.

because you probably are a dummy.

but im not.

i just dont know what causes rashes.

and im secretly trying to find something – anything – else to look at in your nudes.