Monthly Archives: August 2017

theres times i get negative, but for the most part all i can see is opportunity

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i dont know why.

it might be from being a Cub fan and if we focused too much on the failure that the Cubs have been over the years, it would have killed us.

so instead we focused on the pretty ivy or the beautiful scoreboard that was updated by hand.

or how green the grass always was

or the bricks

or the cold beer in the bleachers

and the wonderfully funny fans.

fat guys (like me now) with our shirts off.

which i hear is illegal now.

or the fact that we had no lights at Wrigley

which i hear they changed in 1988.

Seek and ye shall find, the good book says

so why seek for bad and evil and disgusting all the time

when what we really wanna find is joy

and beauty

and love and

miracles.

the key to success is to keep trying weird ass shit

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the World Champion Chicago Cubs did something a little different yesterday

actually, World Series Champion manager Joe Maddon tried something different.

the mighty Joey Votto of the Cincinnati Reds was up. he’s a super good hitter.

so Maddon took his third baseman, the reigning NL MVP Kris Bryant

and placed him between the left and center fielders.

this allowed his corner outfielders to get closer to the foul lines

and it tempted Votto to sacrifice his power and instead poke the ball to the wide open spaces of left.

Maddon is well renown for trying new approaches to the centuries old baseball

AND BEST OF ALL, HE IS ALLOWED TO EXPERIMENT

sure there are critics from time to time who spout stupid ass shit but he’s got a ring and they don’t, so suck it, traditionalists.

what Maddon did last night and does frequently by doing things like batting the pitcher 8th and having a dance party after every win, is what many successful people do:

whatever they damn well please as long as they continue to win.

yesterday Votto creamed a hanging curveball over first base for a double

BUT STILL WHAT JOE TRIED WAS AWESOME

SO SHUT UP.

(Cubs won 15-5, btw)

ive seen a lot of things in my life and im only half way done

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one thing ive seen is the magic power of the people.

 

ive also see the magic power of super terrible d bags.

other day i was walking down my street and this family was walking their new puppy.

puppy squats down and unloads a big steaming log.

nice old asian lady was watching to see what they were gonna do because it was gross.

family just kept moving.

lady yells PICK UP AFTER DOG

PICK UP AFTER DOG!

the dad placed his cigarette into his mouth and raised his hand up in the air and flipped her a bird.

my mouth was agape.

old lady’s mouth was agape!

even the little puppy’s mouth was agape because even the puppy knew you shouldnt flip off old ladies.

then from above us the clouds grew dark, congregated, shook a little

and then lightning struck the dad dead right there on Cahuenga.

a little smoke rose from his heap.

the dog sniffed the dad only to be tugged away by the leash which was now being held by the mom.

the family began walking again.

old lady yelled PICK UP AFTER DAD

PICK

UP

AFTER

DAD!

and they will be met with fire and nonchalance

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several times in the Good Book it’s mentioned that we should have a fear of God.

i think that means we shouldn’t worry that on Judgement Day he will overlook the big stuff

of course he will bring up all the good and bad things you did.

but to me the fear of God is he will also remember all the little details.

like who did you support when it came to racism, intentional ignorance, and hate.

simple things like that.

aint no fucking Nazis in Heaven

why should there be any in America?

that’s what a president should say.

the older i get the more i want to direct a movie

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things people should do before they die

  1. see a Tom Waits concert
  2. fly a helicopter
  3. attend the world series
  4. swim in both the pacific and the atlantic
  5. experience an earthquake
  6. write a book
  7. direct a movie
  8. have a spiritual breakthrough
  9. experience poverty
  10. spin records on FM radio within Safe Harbor
  11. starve for 30 hours
  12. spend the night outside waiting in line for something
  13. visit Sweden
  14. dine in Lyon
  15. sit in the bleachers of Wrigley Field
  16. spend the night in Sedona
  17. pray in Jerusalem

do you realize

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That you have the most beautiful face
Do you realize we’re floating in space,
Do you realize that happiness makes you cry
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
– The Flaming Lips

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what if the sun’s a lie

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what if these rich white men don’t know what theyre doing

what if that dude in korea hates his life, hates what hes done to his people, is sick of that terrible music

and is all, you know, fuckit fire le missile.

what if his generals are all, but sir

and what if he says, i said fire le missile!

and what if his generals say

first of all it’s not french, you are not french

and even if we all were french it would be

LA MISSILE

because it would cause the Mother of All Dumb Events

what if that general was ushered away for speaking out of turn.

what if my whole life is me speaking out of turn.

what if they usher me away one day

why havent they yet?

am i the usher?

am i the way?

are you the day?

what if the suns a lie and its not there to give us warmth but to kill us.

what if bruce is only half right and everything dies but it dont come back.

what if God is like Life is a toothpaste tube and i dont squeeze that shit back in it.

even though i could.

what if theres a world where the toughest part of their olympics is

shoving paste back in the tube.

and people love the people who can do it the best, with no mess?

that would not be a world that i would want to party with.

the older you get the fewer ragers you go to

even though now you know the cops.

and even though cops, like the sun, are also lies.

i wish you knew me, she said

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i said, oh i know you.

she said if you knew me we wouldnt fight so much.

if you knew me you would have called me this morning on your way to work.

if you knew me youd tell me how your day was when i ask.

if you knew me SHE wouldn’t be in your apartment.

i said, youre so young you wear purple lipstick and

lip STAIN, she corrected

i said youre so young you think theres a difference between lipstick and lipstain

also, i know you.

i know what you want (Everything).

yes!

but you cannot have everything and that bothers you.

YES!

and what you need to understand is what you should focus on instead of the things that You want are the things that people less fortunate than you

Need.

oh god.

exactly.

i wish you knew me

she mumbled.

todd had an art opening on Saturday night

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it was a celebration of his entire career which has spanned designing the skateboard decks for several companies, a wide world of art, and his cartoons for legendary magazines like Penthouse

in fact Penthouse was there to interview the man of the hour

the place was packed with family, friends, fans, and even kids who got their decks signed.

what’s amazing about Todd is he is one of the few artists you know who have been able to avoid “real jobs” for most of his adult life. for the exception of the short time that he was roommates with me in Frisco, Todd has always made his living from doing art.

and whats best of all is Todd’s art doesn’t hold back. it’s in your face, it’s dark, it’s powerful, and it’s funny. all the things that will stop you from being able to go commercial, but the thing about Todd is he couldn’t care less about commercial.

he has been put on this earth to let it all out.

he’s here to keep it real.

and if not entirely real, real gross.

the show was held at Shepard Fairey’s gallery on Sunset, Subliminal Projects.

before the show i asked Amber what she wanted to get from the night and she said “inspiration”.

she asked me what i wanted and i said, i hope Shepard is there.

not only was he but he was super nice to everyone and provided the soundtrack to our lives.

i nearly brought this Obama sticker that I wanted him to sign, but i couldnt find it, and anyways the night was about Todd.

while i was thanking Shepard for hosting the night, he said, “oh man ive been a fan of his for years.”

earlier Todd said that Shepard was into the skating scene from way back, which i totally forgot.

Shepard said he first met Todd in the 90s with Tony Gonzalez or Mark Gonzalez, someone, and that guy showed him the Anti Hero Eagle series and Shepard was all

oh yeah.

right there.

a trio of those decks welcomed people into the gallery, which couldn’t be more appropo.

afterwards amber and i watched exit through the gift shop

to complete the theme.

my man todd francis is in the weekly this week

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he was the illustrator of the Daily Nexus.

he was so good i made him my assistant arts editor because i wanted his art on the cover of our section every week.

he always delivered.

after college when i was transferred up to Frisco i needed a place to live and he had a spare room in his apartment on 22nd and Folsom.

we had a mice problem. there was a hole in the apartment somewhere. but he had these giant snakes in a fish tank.

he let them out to roam. they ate all the mice and slithered back into their tanks.

todd was the first person i met who said its ok to have dinner consisting of nothing but vegetables.

we even tried it a few times.

those were the days of AOL. id sit in my room on a 14.4 modem writing poems in the poetry rooms and sexting the girls who i hope were women. it was pretty easy to tell the fakers, but you never know. i probably said something to some dudes without knowing it.

ah frisco.

todd and i saw the OJ chase together because he loved hoops even more than i did, especially anthony mason and patrick ewing.

so as we were watching the game they broke in with the slow Bronco chase and we got to see parts of LA that we missed.

little did i know that Todd would slowly become one of the biggest names of skateboard design.

i didnt know how far his fame had reached until i was back home in ILL a year ago and in our crappy mall there was a skate shop and i asked the kid if he knew about Todd and among 100 boards he quickly picked out the 5-6 that he designed.

he said he drove to the city to get Todds autograph back when he was doing a book signing.

so many talented friends at the Daily Nexus.

we were all so lucky to have had each other.

because if you are the only one with weird ideas, gross pictures, or stupid plots to change the world:

it’s nice to have a room full of others who, instead of vetoing you, say,

“you think that’s weird, check this shit out.”