i wrote because my mom encouraged me

i wrote because i had a sports illustrated subscription

i read both papers every day in the library at school

not because  i was smart – if i was smart i would have read my homework.

i read them because of mike royko and because sports on tv was pretty much nonexistent.

i wrote because when i sent little stories to the girls,

they smiled and

took my hand and

i wrote because there was a typewriter in the house.

when i was little a fancy car rolled past my house and stopped.

a man got out and said tony pierce?

i was 13.

i said jd salinger?

he said, here is the secret to writing,

it’s called the baseball hat.

i said, n word please.

he said, no, this is a magical one.

i said i will accept it but i would prefer one someday that will match all the Cubs crap i wear all the time.

he said im sorry thats not how it works

and tossed me a weird green one.

i haven’t washed my hands since.

if you ever feel down, youre not alone

and it’s easy to feel that way nowadays

we’ve got a president who seriously doesnt give a damn

hurricanes all up in our south

dodgers are falling apart

less people are paying $13.75 a ticket to see movies

gas prices, house prices, get your Benz serviced prices.

i saw a kid, a little kid the other day with his hands in his pockets just crying

i was all, why you crying little brother

he said, i just watched the news for 20 minutes.

i gave him a hug and was arrested immediately.

does north korea wanna blow us up?

does russia want us to implode?

do the republicans want anything else other than mo money mo money mo money?

will rock and roll ever come back to save our souls?

and for Heavens sake will uber finally raise their fares or lower their fees so we drivers can catch a break?

no.

nothing good is coming except Jesus.

and when He comes it’s the grand finale.

but here’s the good news:

nothing in here is true.

the gray skies will turn blue.

and i’ll forever love you.

and that’s how you start walking in the right light.