Monthly Archives: February 2018

dear tony, what do you do about haters?

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this is an interesting question because if you had asked me this 10, 20, or 30 years ago i would have had a different answer each time.

at this stage of my life, i say pity them and pray for them because as i look back at those who would have fit in that bucket, most of them, a vast majority were hating

because they were jealous.

which is crazy because the things that they were jealous about certainly weren’t my material wealth or runway model good looks or style

they were jealous about things that they could have had in their lives if they didnt have a gigantic stick up their ass.

indeed i think most of the haters were sad/mad/jealz because they saw me as an extremely happy person who appeared to enjoy ridiculously good “luck”. and while it is true that i have been genuinely happy for most of my life, it wasn’t luck that did it.  it was values

including the Golden Rule.

i think one is happiest when one is helping others and trying to lift others to the place where they want to be.

when i look back at my biggest accomplishments, it’s not great because i made a million bucks or hooked up with Laker Girls, it’s because i helped good people get to where they were probably gonna get anyway but i was able to help them there quicker.

and while we did it we had a great time and made some cool art or music or news.

a lot of sad people are only in it for themselves. they might think that theyre being a good bf/gf, employee or friend, but really their motive is all about them. therefore when Satan creeps around trying to figure out what to whisper in their ear to bum their day, he says things about them “youre fat, youre poor, youre dumb, you keep making the same mistakes, youre sloppy, youre dopey, you’re not creative, you are not even using what you learned in school, everyone hates you” and it works on them because they value Self.

if Satan tried that baloney around someone who sincerely spends their time in a Supporter role none of that matters. who cares if you’re fat if you’re making others less hungry too. who cares if youre poor if you know that money is a fakeout and you give what you have to others, who cares if they call you dumb if you know the secret to turning someones frown upside down, who cares what they say if you know that smile is on your face for the right reason.

haters are out there just like rain drops and rush hour traffic. it’s part of the environment and once you live a life of service as opposed to a quest for Self Aggrandizement you will discover your true place in this spiritual slam dance

and it’s right in the center

where it’s safest

and most beautiful.

while it’s true i read the bible for an hour every sunday

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it’s also true that i procrastinate my ass off doing it. and i dont know why other than i really don’t like doing things that i have done already and i have read the bible like 4 times now, and it’s not that i know whats going to happen next, i dont, i am always surprised by what is going to happen

BECAUSE EVEN BIBLICAL HUMANS ARE HUMANS AND THEREFORE FULL OF SURPRISES

i just dont like being told what to do even if i am the one doing the telling to myself.

a long time ago, in college, i was reading the bible for college and it hit me like a lightning bolt.

and when i was done reading the whole thing i said to myself, church is dumb, all i ever did in church was wait for the band to play and wait for the gospel to get read, so

i will make you a deal, Lord, i will read the bible every Sunday for an hour, with some jazz playing in the background

and this way i wont have to put on pants, go to church, kneel stand kneel stand shake hands and wait for the sentence to be over.

but for years now i have been doing almost exactly the same thing with reading the bible.

when i do it i learn stuff, duh, but the whole process is work. for me.

last night was no exception. i read, i procrastinated, i read more, i futzed with the laundry, i read more, i got my secret blog rolling, and then i saw Amber was coming home, so i read until she arrived.

then we snuggled and passed out.

i need to set a new rule that i dont get to eat until ive read the bible on Sunday MORNING that way my whole day isnt a waste and a burdon with some terrible deadline oppressing me on what is supposed to be the Day of Rest

A MEN!

are cub fans the best people in the world?

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probs.

picked up a dude from brazil. he was in the catching money laundering game.

no kidding.

i was all how did Paul Manafort fuck up?

he was all, he got too close to Trump?

oh?

he’s the biggest mark there ever was.

dropped him off at the airport, then picked up this vacation expert.

he was on his way to the far east to scope out a private island

we got talking about Cuba

i asked, should i check out Cuba during this pause, so as to see it before it gets ruined?

dude goes, only thing thats gonna ruin it is when Google lays down fiber

and all the Cubans leave the streets and go inside and surf the web.

he said, right now the best part of Cuba are the Cubans… who are outside most of the time

living.

sometimes nice things happen

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which is why you should never give in to the dark side

which is why you should never suicide

and why you should never listen to those who are negative nellys

as one of the handful of people who have worked in both “newsrooms” (LAist was my couch 10 years ago), i can tell you that this has the makings of a beautiful romance.

the people who make up KPCC are exactly the type of people who can help LAist get to the next level – wherever that is.

and LAist website traffic and social footprint was larger than the Pasadena NPR station’s, so the lil blog that could is a beautiful acquisition for KPCC.

and one of the sweet bonuses is there are living, breathing people at KPCC who used to work at LAist and vice versa.

the question is, will KPCC allow LAist to truly work independently, will the radio station help the bloggers literally find their voice on the airwaves and podcasts, and if something breaks on one side will the other side get bent out of shape?

these are the same exact questions that, I’m sure Gothamist and DCist are asking with their new NPR partners in one of the more interesting mergers media has had in a very long time.

i dont know about those other cities, but LA has truly missed LAist over the last 4 months (it has seemed longer than that) in part because the LA Weekly has refused to deliver even the slightest bit of news. so this is a godsend for millions of people who have grown accustomed to LAist filling in the gaps that the LAT has either found uninteresting or unable to cover.

the biggest winners of all will be the residents of Pasadena who will find their city covered better than ever.

thank you, anonymous rich person, for generously doing the right thing for news, Los Angelenos and Optimism.

the kids are all right

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decades ago The Who produced a film called The Kids Are All Right about the British band’s run through the ’60s and ’70s

but right now there are a group of idealistic teenagers in Florida who have had enough with America’s love/hate affair with guns, particularly assault rifles.

these teens were victims of school shooter who killed 17 of their fellow students. instead of freaking out (which they are also probably doing), they have used that energy to pressure local, state and federal lawmakers to stop accepting bribes from the NRA and start changing the laws so that mentally disturbed people have a harder time getting their hands on weapons and so a kid in Algebra class doesn’t have to live in fear any more for their life.

naturally Republicans are fighting the kids, which is bizarre. they are claiming that some of these students are actors being fed lines and aren’t earnestly asking for gun control measures, but are being paid by people like George Soros and other liberals.

the kids have been amazing. they say this has nothing to do with politics. they say it has nothing to do with Trump. what their goal is simply: they want last week’s school massacre to be the Last One.

they have a tough road ahead of them because even though they filled three Greyhound busses with protesting students, once they arrived at the Florida State House in Tallahassee, the GOP-led state senate refused to even debate gun control.

“if Congress or no one else wants to do anything about this, so what, because we are going to do something about this,” one of the students said. and you best believe them.

today is kurt cobain’s birthday, he would have been 51

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when i was driving the Royal Blood bassist from WeHo to DTLA he told me he was gonna be playing at the Forum in a few days.

I said, oooooh the Forum. I have seen many great shows there.

he said, like who?

i said, well The Cars, Manson, Clapton, Weezer, Nirvana, Kiss

he said, Nirvana? How were they?

i said, it was for charity and the Butthole Surfers opened. i sat all the way in the back. and they did something that i only saw once with Bob Dylan at the Arlington Theater… Dylan started the show sorta drunk but as it progressed it was obvious that the booze had been replaced with water, and by halftime Dylan had sobered up and was sooooo perfect.

the same happened with Nirvana. Kurdt seemed spaced out and super chill, but as they settled in the got louder and gnarlier and i dont know if the heroin was wearing off or the weed, but it got better and better.

they played Teen Spirit like 5th on the playlist. sorta to get it out of the way.

very punk rock. very “if you were here for the hit you can go home now.”

i have many things that i am supremely grateful for: namely the women i have had the great good fortune to know in my life, but seeing Nirvana live is way up there. and i take none of it for granted.

today is presidents day

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did you send out all your cards?

the only person who sends me cards for this holiday is my uncle jim.

jim of course is one of the original xbi agents.

i know this because i tried to send him R. Crumb’s illustrated “Genesis” for Christmas and amazon told me that no one lived there

even though it is the same exact address that i get on his cards for fathers day, valentines day, and every other holiday including this very special one.

we don’t have this day off at work because we are only a few weeks away from the Oscars and this is pretty much the home stretch.

this year i will be doing the Instagram Story. Last year if you remember i did the Snapchat.

i will reach about 11x the people that i did last year. so there’s a bit more added pressure but not much because the difference is

a lot of people or an OMG TON OF PEOPLE

they’re both the same. and im a pro. and ive been around this race course before. what i am looking for are some insoles to cushion my step because that is the only thing i wish i had done last year: protected my feet. as my dogs were plum wore out, Jethro.

today its windy. it rained a little last night. all of that is fine. get this bad weather out of the way so we have clear skies and warm temps for the big show.

everyone got sick these last few weeks. we will all be strong and healthy and wise and prepared for whatever goes down bc Lord knows it probably won’t be weirder than it was last year. and that was weird.

anyways happy birthday president obama.

 

dear tony, what can i do if i can’t change her?

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dear jean,

you can’t.

there’s not even a lot we can do.

all we can do is our own thing and live as pure as we can.

keeping in mind others are trying to make it happen too.

and everyone has a different goal.

hidden goals.

my goal right now is to make a spiritual miracle from these words.

my goal is for the Good Lord to hear my 1, 2, 3 and say

fine, tony, fine.

my goal is for my 1, 2, 3 to be real and good and as selfless as can be

my goal is for peace.

the right kind of la la la. the good kind. you know it when you see it.

sometimes i will see it and i will say

oh, right. yes! YES!

because i had given up on it.

because i thought it had fluttered away to either nowhere, or into the hands of darkness.

but there it is sometimes

right on the tip of yr tongue.

so here it is for you.

they want what you have

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one of the more fascinating things about my life is at almost every turn

and i dont say this as a victim, even though it may come across that way,

but people want what i have.

and then they ruin it.

since day one people have told me how to run this blog: what to put on it, what to delete, what to change up

theyve had plenty of time to make their own blogs. do they do it? nope.

three times ive been paid money to run other peoples blogs

each time the blogs i was handed were ok, and i turned them into something way better than ok.

and then, after i leave, poof theyre gone, after others swore they wanted to improve them.

but theyre gone.

it’s almost like living in a house and no one plays the piano, but then i start playing it

and it sounds beautiful after a while. and all these people gather to listen and applaud.

then someone else takes the piano, rolls it down the street, and throws it into the grand canyon.

maybe thats my lot in life. maybe thats what satan and the lord are doing, like im Job

but instead of giving me warts all over my body and killing my family to see if i crack

they just give me notes all day and when im not looking try to murder the sand castles i build.

but the cubs won the world series, haters, i will never crack now.

i complimented someone today on their instagram

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and they said, oh i love yours too.

and i thought, how could you? it’s terrible. it’s 10% of whats in my heart. it’s nothing. it’s a sell out. it’s me not trying to lose my job(s).

it’s me trying not to make waves.

it is the worst thing a 51 year old man could do: pretend like there’s 75 years left.

on paper im past my prime. how do i know? how many creative people do you know peaked in their 50s?

sure i could be one of the first ones. sure.

suuuuuure jan.

so what do you do if you can’t do the things you could do when you were younger?

you fucking floor it. you let em have it. you live by example. you rock the casbah. you show em what youve been bottling up inside for so so so long.

the last thing you do is go the way of the talentless cowards youve been scoffing at your whole life. and yet thats exactly what i have been doing since, hell, sooooo long.

did i rock during LAist? yes. was it perfect? it was so unperfect that now looking back at it and reading the archives i wince at sooooo much of what i was writing because i was doing it too fast. i had no time to think. i had to run the whole thing, manage the people, set up the thing, market the thing, and yes, try to be the living example of the thing

so when do you have time to channel The Spirit?

hardly never.

and yet it still came.

you dont need a lot of time. you just need the desire, the trust, and the platform.

and by trust, i mean no fear.

it helped so much that my bosses had my back. it meant everything.

but heres the truth about it all, your most important boss: Love.

always has your back

will never laugh at you

has no idea what Judging is

and wants you to do all the nutty crazy and beautiful things that are growing inside of you

and wants you to spray it on the side of the wall like a firehose.

this dick trickle shit is for the sucker mcs.