i dont have anything bad in there, but who knows.

people can say well why not delete your blog too? and i would say mind your own beeswax.

amber is snoring next to me and its so comforting.

googlestalked my first girlfriend ever because i havent done that in a super long time and i just wanted to see a picture of her and make sure she was alive. found the pic. she looks different than i expected. brown hair instead of blonde. also younger. last time we talked she told me that she had caught her husband cheating. that was such a long time ago. found her new last name. which means she musta met another man and got hitched which i approve of. she was so nice to me. i would write her letters every day.

maybe i still do.

and thats the difference between twitter and blogging, people, these are love letters to the ether of the otherlands

tweets are just darts at an invisible water balloon thats being thrown at your face. will you get wet? will you miss?

there was a car chase today where they did the pit manuever to a dude literally four times and each time he was able to get away after being spun around. it was remarkable.

then they just let him drive south down to oceanside. which is why i was thinking about her. cuz she lives down there.

i have had such a blessed life. so above average compared to what it could have been. i dont have movie star looks. i wasnt at the top of my class in shit and i wouldnt be if i went back in time. my family wasnt rolling in dough. i went to community college, alone, no friends in a new city. while working at mcdonalds. even the girls at mcdonalds wouldnt go out with me.

but i persisted.

cuz what else you gonna do? give up at 18? no. i wrote her love letters and she basically said thank you next, which was good. out with the old. and the new life was good. you meet friends after a while. one thing leads to another.

thank god i had a car though. i drove alllll over LA back then. all these streets and towns i had heard about in records or tv shows. id even fill up at a gas station and id think, did Kareem ever come to this gas station? did Elton John? LA was this magical place. the one city where dreams could come true to you and you and you.

and come true they did. over and over again. did i think i would be 52 with a 32 year old gf snoozing next to me writing notes to the superdooper in infinity land? no and thats why life is grand. all the stupid shit you think will happen when youre a teen is weirder and better and a hundred percent different than your dumb head could imagine.

and the weed is legal.