many many years ago jeanine and i went to hawaii

maui to be precise.

we had no money. we were fresh out of college. i had lost my job working at Sears!

little did i know but i would soon be hired by Philips/Magnavox to train all the electronic salespeople – including Sears – how to sell our fine line of personal electronics and televisions.

but we had this vacation planned so we went off and did it and it was fascinating because neither of us had been to maui before and we were in love and love tames the wild beast or something

even back then, when i go on vacation i dont wanna do shit, but jeanine was so full of life, she was all, LETS DRIVE UP THAT VOLCANO AND WATCH THE SUN RISE

i was like fuck that!


i was like, girl i grew up in the midwest, you dont think ive seen a cow before?

and we got up early, drove up mount halakalahalaha saw the damn cows, cows saw us

we kept driving. it was cold, then windy, and then the sun came up and i took this picture.

when i first met her she kept all that beautiful hair in front of her face.

she was hiding.

we went on 3 very bad dates. and i gave up. then one day it rained and i asked her to come over and teach me to play the guitar. and when she did, she lit up from the inside and no longer was she hidden.

cheesy as it sounds, i saw her heart. and it was beautiful. much like that picture.

a lot has come and gone since we climbed up that hawaiian volcano.

but one thing remains is her beautiful heart.

today i talked to her on the phone to offer my condolences because her husband had tragically died.

and as we talked about certain things she fluttered from being sad to being very sad.

but every now and then we said something that was funny.

i have no idea how to help people during times like what jeanine has just experienced

or some of the tragedies she has had to endure during her life.

life is not fair. at all. and sometimes it’s least fair to the sweetest people you ever met.

you just have to hope that at the end of this darkness

just around the bend

theres a new chapter waiting to unfold.

with shit loads of joy drizzled all around it.