every day i dont wear a suit is a good day

how have i even been able to feed myself without a shirt and tie.

drove around south LA yesterday looking for baseball cards at walmarts.

couldnt find anything i was looking for.

first i went east then south, then way south,

then i was in compton and i met this mexican family.

kids were sneezing, but the dad and his oldest son were considering these $79 a box cards

clearly collectors. we started talking and it turned out they had been 20 minutes ahead of me

allll day long.

clearing the shelves everywhere along the way.

what are the odds.

so i followed them home.

and moved in.

tell my cats i love them.

make the greatest black leader a white sculpture

do you know how many things i wanna do

i see a picture like this and i wanna be a photographer

i go to a church and i wanna be a preacher

i go to the horse track and i wanna talk to every person there and tell em im not leaving until you tell me something killer

but lets face it, i probably only have 75 years left on this warranty

and the planet probs only has 50.

which is why ozzy keeps making singles.

amber and i had a fight today and i was yelling in the car.

this man was crossing the street walking his dad and he looked at me.

like he was trying to see if he knew me. maybe he did.

it made me wonder if famous people get that look all the time.

but not from strangers of fans but someone they are in the same circles

and theyre all, wait is that fritz coleman yelling at his bae

i was so angry i wanted to get out of my car and say

take a picture it lasts longer.

but nothing lasts.

picked up a dear friend at the airport

huge mistake. sunday nights at the airport are the worst. but she was very sick and we go way back.

it was actually a good learning lesson because if anyone tells you that things are better there, that very well may be, but it’s still a disaster and i do not envy anyone flying into there over the next 5 weeks because this was just a normal sunday night and it was impossible to move during certain parts. and those parts screwed you for 20-30 minutes.

the blessing in disguise is i heard the bears collapse via radio which made it difficult to throw a tv out the window.

beautiful day and night, otherwise.

warm, bright moon. tom waits.


penguins on an iceberg that’s been flipped upside down, known as a blue iceberg

a lot has been going on. it was a busy week. i hit a lot of dead ends.

i yelled at some people. feelings were hurt. im going to fight a ticket.

fish was made. asparagus. ended up with some korean old lady cookies.

fed the homeless. warm feelings were patched. bowled.

ive been collecting baseball cards like crazy. perhaps in part out of research.

Just Because You Can Trade a Mike Trout Card for a Tesla Doesn’t Mean You Should

work got me a podcast mic. it sounds good. it’s pretty huge. gonna need a stick.

watched some of the impeachment. watched snl. fought on the internet.

been watching my cats’ diets. went to the doc for a check up.

bought dental insurance.

organized baseball cards. got some good deals. went to walmart.

bought and installed a new, soft toilet seat.

i was impressed with myself.

wrote about some climate change activists.

you’ll see it on monday.

found out some things.

ate fish.

paid the maid.

kissed amber


if i lived in chicago this would be me

i’d have season tickets. id wake up early for games. id take the train down dere.

id get wasted before the game at some tailgate.

id sit in my seat in the cold and the wind, and i’d be pissed most of the time.

in the summers i would see 40-50 Cubs games.

id have a house, a nice wife, probably a kid.

but id never see them between the work and the sports and the drinking.

i’d probably be dead by now.

it would have been a tasteful funeral.

it would have been from getting in a fight in the stands.

my tombstone would say

he had it coming.

life is full of disappointments, what can you do

Jesus said repent

but thats such an old school word, people rarely use it any more

but they should

it means to feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one’s wrongdoing

the keyword is sincere.

i have done some fucked up shitty things in my half century on this crust.

i am sincerely uptight about them.

a few of them hurt me to my core.

if i ever saw a shrink, those few would come out in the first few meetings because they are in my head all the time.

and i am so sorry about them. it is so out of my character. it is not me.

i have seen people exhibit the worst parts of their makeup and the good book describes it as being inhabited by demons.

which again is an old school concept but one that i think should be taken seriously.

when one is inhabited, we dont strike out at the person but at the demons. and what are demons? souls that have lost their way. Milton says Satan was someone who couldn’t make a heaven of hell, so has decided to make a hell out of heaven. and tell me that that isn’t whats going on when someone we like or love starts acting a fool or saying some fucked up nonsense.

or worse: doing terrible things.

there was a time i wanted to be a judge but over time i see how complicated life is. not everything is good or bad, right or wrong. imagine someone does a rolling stop at a stop sign, are they truly criminals? were lives really in danger? but the law says sit there for a few beats. those beats are important we have decided. so what should be done to the rolling not-really stoppers?

i say it depends.

i say in most things we should be saying that shit depends on other shit, therefore, lets hear whats going on.

but heres the thing about the Lord. he doesnt need any trial. he doesnt need for you to dress up and comb your hair and pay a sweet talking lawyer to figure out the loopholes into this or that

the Lord can see your heart.

for a while i thought i could see hearts too, but either i was just lucky in the past or that gift has moved on to others.

these days i just assume the best and when bad appears i try to make due.

maybe there are other paths, i honestly don’t know.

we’re through the looking glass people.

we just have to trust in the Big Fella in the sky.

which might be what we shoulda been doing all along.

heres the things i dont like about getting older

i hate almost all new music

i’m bored of so many things

no matter how little i eat, my belly still clings to me

i get tired easily

ladies dont wink at me as much as they used to

blogging has all but died

my ESP is fading away

im hate regular tv, terrestrial radio, and oyster bars

i am less and less tolerant of people who hate the poor

im probably going to hell.


went to see Kanye’s gospel hour again, this time with amber

all weekend i was checking the prices on stub hub because i knew it wasn’t going to be sold out and i knew there were speculators out there and even Ticketmassah started selling floor seats for $40 so i knew there were gonna be some deep discounts as the hours approached showtime

and sure enough after amber was done at the fairfax flea market, i picked her up, checked the web and nabbed two tickets for $47 total.

they were supposed to be up in the rafters but it was pretty easy to get into some lower level good seats as the whole place was at half capacity.

amber was as amazed as i had been. theres something about hearing all of those voices singing so loudly. also whoever is behind the scenes mixing it does a great job. is a powerfully beautiful thing happening there.

kanye changed up a lot of things. he replaced the cheesy white preacher with a older black minister from georgia. the frocks were now blue instead of white, and the entire set list changed.

it went on for two hours and that was more than enough for amber. which is fine. we walked the mile or so to our car, drove around the hood looking for the Popeyes chicken sandwich which had made it’s triumphant return. went to a few stores, huge lines.

then as we were on speaker phone with mom we saw that the one on Western and MLK wasn’t bad. a half hour later there was a chicken sandwich in my belly. and a half hour later my stomach had completed its journey.

when that, and the two jack in the box tacos, the only food id ingested all day, exited my body felt incredible.

and that, my friends, is why blogging is dead.

ps when amber went to the bathroom at the popeyes a homeless guy had just been in there smoking crack and when she came to the table to report this to me, i asked, did you inhale real good? cuz thats a free high.

and the ladies next to us laughed.

on the way home we listened to Bob Dylan’s Saved and compared and contrasted the bard’s born-again phase with Ye’s and they are surprisingly similar. the difference is Kanye’s is full blown while Dylan’s is not nearly as immersive in its entirety.

bears lost.

i went to a climate strike protest rally yesterday

i learned a lot. mostly that we are in good hands. also, those hands wont have a chance to save us if we dont save us first.

then i learned about this japanese grocery store in DTLA that has really good pre-made sushi for cheap.

we watched little kids annoy pigeons with their toy helicopters

we watched a couple of gay guys have a romantic lunch sharing a beer and feeding edamame to each other.

then we went to the movies and saw a really good biopic about Harriet Tubman

i wish it was better. something was missing. maybe the cinematography? i cant put my finger on it.

theres fires burning all around us. proof that sprawl hasn’t completely done its dirty work.

theres still wilderness, which is nice, but now its charred, for many reasons.

a couple of recycling places caught fire, hard to believe that just naturally occurred.

i wonder about God, when he looks down on us, does he cry sometimes?

like can he just not help to?

then today around noon, a 15 minute rain shower just happened out of the blue.

and i was all, me too, angels.

moi aussi.