has this been easy? no.

tons of uncertainty. financial pressures. emotional intensities. and now there are fleas in the house no matter what we do.

we bombed the place. we gave the cats meds. we even took them to a pet hotel the other day so the flea bomb dust could settle. when i brought the girl cat in from the car to the apartment she pissed herself in her cage. soaking herself. how that much pee was in one little cat is amazing.

then they slept for an entire day.

jeanine just called. drunk. i dont know what to do about her. she has had a very tough life. very tough. then a year ago her new husband died. it sent her down a terrible spiral. so many of us went out to Las Vegas to visit her and give her everything we could. our good friend barney even went out there and spent a week with her and finally drove her 8 hours to go to rehab.

but here she is drinking again. you can see why if you ever visit her. the apartment is like a memorial to her dearly departed. his stuff is everywhere. memories are literally wall-to-wall. she says she hates vegas, so i say move. she says she will never get rent as cheap as she has it there.

i disagree. sure rent in vegas is cheaper than it is in LA, but anything is cheaper than it is in LA. yesterday my man Roy was telling me about properties in Joshua Tree that a friend of his has that are empty because they are meant to be Air BnBs. I told her that she should consider JT where she could work, do jewelry and maybe even work at a restaurant and cook — shes probably the best cook ever.

but instead she drinks. and drinks.

what can i do? i can pray i guess. i will pray.