did something dumb


the day started out good. amber woke me up just after noon and we just stared at each other

and she said youre the hottest man alive

and i said

damn straight.

then she said, can you get out of here for a few hours today.

and i said

damn straight.

first stop was this purple church ive seen a million times.

earlier this month we saw a dead guy being examined by the coroner at the los feliz triangle. while we were there i asked the two guys looking if they were journalists. one was the other said he worked at this purple church

and you could get showers there for free.

and they were always looking for clothing donations.

who among us doesnt have a few coats we could give up, and that turned into like six bags of clothes that ended up in my trunk… for nearly three weeks.

today i finally went and they were so great. my buddy brian was there. the guy running the joint was there and as we talked i asked, hey can i get this on video, people need to know. and he was all sure.

so then i emailed that traveling youtuber living in his car because he’s been taking cold showers in Venice.

then i drove to claremont to see rob, his wife, his mother n law and his teenage son.

we all just could not stop talking because we have all been quarantining so long and they have really done a spectacular job with their trees and lights and art and gadgets.

at one point i pointed and said, why do you have this if you have that?

carrie said, thats a jacuzzi and that’s a hot tub. they’re different.

i was sent home with some fruit, berries, and a spotted aloe plant.

and also i am invited back to talk to carrie’s mom whose family was so strict that they wouldn’t let her dance. ever.

she said the first time she ever danced was at rob and carrie’s wedding.

if i only knew i was witnessing history.

on the way home i stopped by walmart and saw this Christmas tree was being sold for $0.

before i could even understand what i was seeing, a sweet young lady saw me and asked, are you going to take it?

things that are cool to do in a mercedes: blast iron maiden

things that are not cool to do in a mercedes: tell a lady driving the not a mercedes that she cannot have the free tree.

the dumb thing i did was go into the walmart looking for baseball cards

because baseball cards are not worth catching a terrible disease.

i have a friend who is the one person in LA doing the right thing

he’s keeping his ass at home.

and im not much of a gift giver, but i got the perfect gift for him and i dont want to mail it to him because it’s super rare.

and it’d dumb, so it’s hard to find and they didnt make a lot of these.

so i had to move my car for street cleaning and i figured that while i was in my car i could drive to his apartment and give it to him.

he lives in a fancy building, but it’s not fancy enough to have a doorman. a rarity in LA.

like me, he’s xbi so he knows how to read minds. so when i texted him to see if he was at home he said duh of course.  but then he added this gem.

“I am always home but I am not, under any circumstance, opening my door and going outside, if you’re thinking of dropping something off. I won’t do it. I don’t go downstairs. I don’t go in the elevator. I don’t go outside. If you want to drop something off, you can do it after the vaccine. Until then you will not see me.”

unfortunately for him that only makes me want to learn how to scale tall buildings, rent a drone, or fly my helicopter to his roof and rappel to his window and scare the crap outta him.

but i respect his decision. everyone should be this cautious. if we had been, we’d be back out at clubs making out with strangers again by now.

instead we’re watching netflix and not chillin.