here it is Christmas Eve and we tried eating tamales

but we couldnt find none

drove all the way down sunset to East LA but i guess they only sell them early in the morning.

it’s ok. everythings ok. everythings been ok. everything will be ok.

i just finished writing about all 21 jobs ive ever had. mama mia that was epic. i have been very blessed.

then on top of it are all the things that happened when i wasnt working. all the bowling i did, all the poems i wrote, all the girls whose eyes i melted into.

and then there was sports. and computers. and video games. and books. and breakdancing. and sailing.

one summer all i did was sail every day in the frigid san francisco bay.

when youre 16, shivering among white caps you dont think you’re learning lessons that will stick with you forever but thats where life is awesome.

one of the lessons i learned had to do with wind. cant do shit on a sailboat if theres no wind. likewise if theres too much wind you’re just trying not to flip over.

but lets talk about no wind because in a way thats what so many americans are dealing with right now. how do you succeed if theres no work, millions are unemployed, people cant go inside restaurants and there are all these restrictions?

the lesson i learned out there was when theres no wind, look at the bridge. check out the mountains. notice the fog crawling over the peaks. listen to the sea gulls. watch the tour boats.

basically all the things that youd not have any time to soak in: enjoy.

ive got a GF bouncing off the walls because she cant work right now. and when i say lets watch the Mandalorian together she says shhhh. she says dont tell me what to do. she says why are you posing like a super model? why are you juggling my flip flops. wait, when did you learn to juggle?

and i said, on the sailboat when there was no wind.

today i found out the saddest thing

someone i hadnt talked to in a long time called me to fill me in on something i didn’t know.

someone i had so much respect for, it turns out, lied to me, several times, strung me along, and then did something hurtful to me and others.

the person on the phone asked how should i feel about this? and then, how do you feel about this?

and because it’s Christmas Eve, and because i love the Good Book because it shows humans being humans and good people sometimes being less than good, i know how to react to this.

sometimes in the Bible, God does something that is rarely talked about. He hardens people’s hearts. meaning, the good person would normally be all sweet and honest and transparent and welcoming, but suddenly acts out of character because God wants them to.

since none of us are God it’s hard to speculate why he wants them to act cruelly, but usually it’s not about them, it’s about our reaction to that curveball. sometimes God wants to watch us do the right thing in spite of the situation.

and thats what we should do here. the right thing. and the right thing is to love this person and love all the people. especially when they’re lost.

it’s easy to be cool when everythings cool, but sometimes, i think, he wants to see if we will act ugly when ugly things come our way.

pleasantly surprise him.

life is short. surround yourself with people who act honorably around you. and when they fail, as we all do, forgive them and move on.

you have no idea what they’re going through or how badly they need a second chance. give it to them.