he’s keeping his ass at home.

and im not much of a gift giver, but i got the perfect gift for him and i dont want to mail it to him because it’s super rare.

and it’d dumb, so it’s hard to find and they didnt make a lot of these.

so i had to move my car for street cleaning and i figured that while i was in my car i could drive to his apartment and give it to him.

he lives in a fancy building, but it’s not fancy enough to have a doorman. a rarity in LA.

like me, he’s xbi so he knows how to read minds. so when i texted him to see if he was at home he said duh of course.  but then he added this gem.

“I am always home but I am not, under any circumstance, opening my door and going outside, if you’re thinking of dropping something off. I won’t do it. I don’t go downstairs. I don’t go in the elevator. I don’t go outside. If you want to drop something off, you can do it after the vaccine. Until then you will not see me.”

unfortunately for him that only makes me want to learn how to scale tall buildings, rent a drone, or fly my helicopter to his roof and rappel to his window and scare the crap outta him.

but i respect his decision. everyone should be this cautious. if we had been, we’d be back out at clubs making out with strangers again by now.

instead we’re watching netflix and not chillin.