Monthly Archives: January 2021

a lot of people were super nice to me today

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carolyn and ben and A’magine and especially ken layne who talked to me for so long

im not a phone talker anymore but i had such a hard morning that i got on the horn and yapped

i needed, most of all, to know that i was not alone in this galaxy

which is funny because Ken is a UFO expert.

and during our epic convo he asked me if i had ever seen an alien

i had to admit that i had not, but i told him about an outer body experience i had

which he says counts but he was being generous.

sometimes i think the aliens arent going to be the space creatures we imagine

but people who vote by the millions for dudes who dont deserve their support

like how are so many poor people voting for republicans who dont give them covid checks?

are the poor aliens?

and you know, maybe the dems should just concede abortion if thats the only thing thats keeping people from voting for them

i know they got mad at obama for helping poor people have access to health care, but at this point why not try some tom foolery with abortion rights, federilly, and say its all states rights and if Arizona wants to say you cant have abortion there then we all chip in to fly women from AZ to CA to let them do with their bodies as they wish.

meanwhile after a while millions of people just have no more excuse to support a party that the klan supports.

are the klan aliens too?

wouldnt that be spectacular if they were?

it would make way better sense.

cuz right now why would a white guy *hate* black people? we are the victims. shouldnt it be the other way around? blacks worked free for 400 years, why hate us?

but if racists are aliens because in a galaxy far far away they got their ass beat by a planet of black folks who were mean to them, then yes i could understand. but this shit right here is confounding.

ken and i talk about once a year because hes not a phone talker much neither, same as ben

we’re just dudes who do our own thing and every blue moon

which today was

we’ll text first and say can i call you

and the other guy will say is everything ok?

and we’ll say, in this economy? ha!

and then we’ll blab for a couple hours and be grateful of long friendships built in mutual admiration and it would have been a great podcast but fuckit some things are just right the way they are.

why we need weirdos in the world

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a while back i was not allowed to do the job that i was qualified for, in part because the gatekeeper said

i was “too wild west”

it shocked me a little because i have been fighting my whole life to keep my beating heart inside my body

and try to fit in.

meanwhile ive worked around people who had no problem yelling non-pc names at others and doing crazy things.

and watched as they thrived.

fine.

but when this person told me that all i could say was, but my results were wildly good.

and the person could not disagree.

today i was watching church, because, duh, most crazy people like me love the bible. and the sunday school pastor was trying to describe John the Baptist to the kids. she said he was a bit odd in that he wore shirts made of camel hair and ate grasshoppers and bees.

“but when Jesus wanted to get baptized, people thought, who was holy enough to do it?” and voila they thought about how Jesus and John were related and when John was still in his mommas womb, he lept when he heard Mary talk about Jesus.

he was Jesus’s hype man in utero.

often the PR machine, the biggest fan, the fanatic, is not going to be the one who is cool calm and collected

he or she is going to be the one living the dream, talking that talk, walking that walk, truly enraptured in the spirit.

let the CEO or the accountants sit on their hands, but if you’re lucky enough to have someone so committed to what you or your company is all about that they’ll literally lose their head for you

then let that person do his damn thing.

in Jesus’ case it was to baptise him.

and if you remember, when John lived up to his name and baptized Jesus, “Heaven was opened and [Jesus] saw the spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. Then a voice said from heaven, ‘This is my own dear son with whom I am pleased.’”

Sometimes the weirdo is exactly the man for the job.

the first time i went to the Oscars, i was there as a guest

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i was so sad.

i had lost my job, my best friend, my mojo had evaporated.

little did i know but seven months later i would end up working there.

but since i was there as a guest and i was feeling so low, i had nothing to lose

my buddy mark had gotten me in there with him. at some point we split up and i was handed a glass of champagne and i met not-yet Governor Gavin Newsom and his wife (she was up for an award).

he was either mayor of frisco at the time or vice governor or whatever you call it. tall. crazy handsome.

then across the way, on the smokers balcony i saw Joaquin Phoenix with his family. he was nervous. pacing, chain smokin. he was up for lead actor for the master which i had actually seen at the arclight and call it liquid courage or what but fuckit, i thought it would be a good idea for me to tell him so.

and just as i was heading his way his sister sat down and he leaned against the table alone looking at his cigarette.

and i was all, Joaquin, why are you nervous, no ones gonna give it to whatshisname playing Abraham Lincoln!

and we talked for a little while there.

not one person bothered us.

a few years later i would see him at a rock and roll show at a bar on vine.

whats weird is i did not approach him there even though he was completely alone.

he was loving the band. white dress shirt. black pants.

and i think its because of this: at the oscars i think he really could use a fan to tell him he was great

because of course daniel day fucking lewis is gonna win

but at the bar, even in the back,

even with the cool rockers

he was the star.

took a long walk on a long pier today

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heres the thing about life in general

you can complain in your blog if you want but the more you look around

the more you read about people and watch on video

and holograms and ESP and fourth dimension vibrations

the more you realize you just might have it a little better than a lot of them

so stop whining.

took a long walk through some of the nice houses in los feliz

it was 88 degrees, soon to be 90

so everyone was out which was sad because i had to keep crossing from this sidewalk to that one

to avoid ppl

but there were some blocks where there wasnt a soul

and i pulled down my mask and breathed it all in

and it was flowers blossoming from chopped off tree limbs

it was cookies being baked through an open window

it was weed being toked at a construction site.

is it terribly dangerous to go outside right now here in LA?

yes.

but is it rewarding if you survive?

no comment.

its so hard to concentrate

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the world is literally changing every hour here right now.

people are trying to impeach Trump now 9 days before his term is up.

mitch mcconnell is hiding in his shell so the Senate won’t be forced to have a vote and out those who still want to pretend that the elections were fixed.

now theres word that there are helicopters buzzing around the VPs residence signaling what? a quick escape? an implementation of new staff because Trump has resigned?

then every hour or so theres video released of this traitor or that one being arrested for breaking into the Congress and vandalizing and looting.

how am i supposed to do anything more than click at things and read and watch and laugh and cry.

why cry? because people in California are dying in droves every hour due to COVID.

the only safe place is in your home, alone. which is so unnatural for social animals.

speaking of animals: a half dozen gorillas at the San Diego wildlife park are said to have gotten COVID.

i need to work.

i need to nap.

i need to do anything other than have the tv on and the newspapers strewn and the Twitter reminding me that this will be the longest 9 days ever.

all hells been breaking loose

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just know that the first week of 2021 felt as crazy as its wikipedia is probably saying it was

i havent been writing much because ive been working on getting a good job

and ive been doing a little something on the side for a good person

and ive been dealing with this and that and

i just want you to know that even though things are nuts right now

i feel good about where this is all headed

which is weird.

why is it that some of us feel more comfortable in the eye of the hurricane

than sipping on a hurricane under a palm tree at the beach?

im so grateful that the Good Lord equipped me with all the tools that id need

good friends, a great mom

and six pack abs that bring all the ladies to the yard

im also grateful that i was raised to read newspapers

and brought to libraries

and taught to code from my coder momma

garbage in, garbage out, she told us.

and she aint never lied.

today the capitol police let an angry mob invade congress

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everyone knew they were coming.

the president said he was looking forward to seeing everyone there.

and they showed up and for some reason the national guard wasnt there waiting

for some reason the few capitol police who could do anything opened the gates and let them in

then when they were inside the cops didnt say much other than

happy new year

then hell broke loose

then all of congress had to hide

one congresslady was in a room with a bunch of republicans and they werent wearing masks

so she was all, excuse me, im going to go to a worse hiding place

with less room, but at least i’ll be around people with masks.

four people died.

one lady died because she was trying to bust through and a cop just shot her. dead.

another guy accidentally tasered himself and got a heart attack.

which is why i say this to you:

i love you.

im sorry im not always there for you.

im sorry im a fucking weirdo times infinity.

im sorry that i might freak out and freak people out sometimes

but what we all learned today was some people can get away with anything they want

they can go into secure areas, scale walls, assault officers

waltz into the speaker of the house’s anteroom and steal her mail.

and then walk back to their comped fancy hotel room.

what we learned is i am not one of those people who gets away with much.

which is ok.

today amber was all, im realizing you have a hard life.

i said nah.

she said yeah.

i said hard is sleeping in a tent right now under the hollywood freeway.

or worse:

wishing you had a tent.