it seems like life is a struggle between not giving a shit

and very much giving an incredibly important shit.

and as with most things, the Good Book has advice.

chill.

consider the lilies and the birds and all the things without iphones it sorta says

and 401ks and Hinge accounts

God takes care of all of those creatures

so of course He’s gonna take care of us too.

in fact nowadays the lilies’ biggest threat

is man, ironically.

God’s favorite.

it’s funny that the older ive gotten

the less i worry about what people think

and the more i worry about what God thinks

and even though i have no children

i worry about the planet that i will leave behind for them.

am i fucking it up by driving cars?

do you know how much i love driving?

for five years i would intentionally head into Los Angeles traffic

to pick up stressed out, high powered, sometimes stuck up

movers and shakers of Century City and Beverly Hills

and race them to LAX.

do you know how much i loved doing that?

learning who these people were after 10 minutes?

hearing about every person’s life, family, travel plans, life plans

and sometimes,

the most intimate fears and sadnesses.

i had to stop driving after 3am on weekends

even though the rates were high and the traffic was nil

though more dangerous

because the vibe in the car got dark after 3am.

either it was people who got what they wanted

and were super disappointed.

or did not get what they wanted and were super bummed out.

one guy cried and cried in the back of my car

an actor.

a sweet, young, gay actor from somewheres else who got rejected

and had had a bad day anyway

and was now going home alone a loser.

and i said

i couldnt be more the opposite of you

or your running mascara

but we do share a real love of the arts.

so let me leave you with this

the next time you are playing a role where you have to be

really fucking sad

remember this night.