the kinks is mine

Is there a song that instantly turns you melancholy and maybe brings you back to high school immediately?

Mine is the Kinks’ “Don’t Forget to Dance.”

My senior year of high school my girlfriend moved away and I needed to find a date for prom.

One of my friends had recently broken up with a girl who was pretty but I barely knew her. We went on a date. I think I took her to Rocky III or something.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask her so I said a little prayer. “Dear God, if the next song on the radio is good, I’ll pull over and ask her to prom.”

It was this Kinks tune and I figured wow, what a *sign* – not only was it a rare good song on the radio but it was about dancing.
I asked her, she said yes, we kissed. But prom with her was bad. Turned out auntie flo arrived and she didn’t know how to tell me because we barely knew each other and she didn’t really feel up to dancing.
So I danced with my friends, all the while thinking of my ex gf who wrote me every day from far away… California.
So any time I ask Alexa to play the Kinks I sorta want her to play this but I sorta don’t.

Today I learned she was in the Miss Illinois competition and the year after our prom she was the Rose Queen

did i teach myself video editing?

one of the things i did when i was sad that i may have killed my beautiful cat

was i got an early edition of the Brothers Steve album

i talked with the boys about the songs

and then i saw this little girl on Reddit dancing next to a bouncy house

and i said, bye jove that’s it!

while finding other videos to go with her

including one second of Andrew WK playing piano

i accidentally found a clip of a one legged Black man who inspired

the notorious LA gang The Crips

to build their Crip Walk around.

it was also nice to put the video of Mick and McCartney in there

because i dont think my mom has seen it.

my favorite part is Andrew WK

but my second favorite part is at the very beginning of the vid i had to teach myself how to make something spin

i found an alternative version of their album cover and placed it over a video of a record playing

then i animated the album cover to spin atop the record

but because that was my first time ever animating anything, it was going counter clockwise

but its hilarious so i kept it

as you see i took a week off

it’s weird to say but that crazy cat threw me off my tracks

i re-evaluated everything. even this blog. everything.

clearly ive decided to keep this as it *does* serve a purpose other than having incredible women fall in love with me.

ive also decided to keep the animals, even though they drive me nuts and force me to feel emotions when i least expect it.

i think i may have also scored a job.

i collect mail on an outlook server so if that doesn’t mean i have a job, then i dont know what does

i still havent signed any paperwork though and after that last experience, who knows whats really going on any more, because now that i think of it, i had an email address over there too.

and an offer letter.

these entire covid years have been a mind fuck

so little makes sense

now i have to try to figure out if i want the johnson and johnson booster or one of the other two

i didnt get sick AT ALL when i took the original J&J and they are now saying that they are the least effective of the others

so if i could take one of the others why wouldnt i?

the question is, when am i ok being out for a day or two if thats the situation.

the only thing ive got going on this weekend is hanging with the boys on sunday so friday might be the day

i am extremely grateful to be working with these people. they are good.

they are do gooders.

i want to do that for the rest of my life.

that is what i was born to do but i got side tracked.

all ive ever wanted was to be a positive force

i hope this is real.

Things have improved

But some things will never go back to normal.

I never cry.

When I do it’s in short spurts. And usually i can control it.

The other night on Hollywood Blvd i was out of my mind. I probably shouldn’t a even been driving. Instinctively i knew that which is why i was not on the 101 but i got off on highland and drove slowly, hoping for stop lights.

At one i truly burst in tears.

Was it because i loved a cat?

Etienne used to try to insult me by mocking how much i loved my old girlfriends, even the ones who didn’t deserve it.

But a cat?

For years Prince was my favorite. Michael was standoffish and extremely cat like. Prince is like a dog.

Why would I be crying over Michael, who only recently has warmed up to me and strangers?

After thinking about this for days it’s because I feel since they live in this extremely safe, contained, small apartment, the only thing that could give them harm

Is me.

Either in what i feed them or drop and they accidentally eat, or not monitor them the brief times they’re outside, or by not getting them checkups on time

Or putting the wrong flea drops on them or somehow contracting fleas

Whatever it is, i am to blame if something goes wrong with them because they’re just innocent animals pretty much confined to the living room of

My apartment.

But it wasn’t shame. I was literally sad. For her.

Like it or not, for 7 years I’ve seen these cats pretty much every day.

I take care of everything that goes in and out of them.

Even during my most busy and trying times I make sure to spend a little quality time with them every day. Both of them. Separately and together.

I used to ask Amber, did you play with the cats today? Because two people have gotta be twice as good.

When I was young I remember accidentally watching some science thing about kids and how kids who aren’t touched or loved or told they’re good end up so fucked up. Stunted growth. All these bad things. So i just figured cats have got to be the same way.

And even dying in the Pet Hospital the nurses all said how friendly Michael was and playful and headbutting them.

She puts her paw up and touches your calf, as to say, pardon, can you pick me up, giant person?

I take credit for that because I’m sorry you do nothing all day, that nothing may as well be loving.

I held Prince extra close that night because of the two, he seems to be the one who eats more questionable things, how has he survived my messy bachelor pad?

Cut him open and it’ll be like a great white shark i bet. Marbles, baseball cards, a flip flop.

Yesterday i got her out of the hospital. Been feeding her though a tube. She looks at the wall, maybe stunned that she’s alive.

But probably just embarrassed that she has a neck brace on, basically, and a tube hanging out of her body.

Image is everything for that chick.

i had a good interview today

Los Feliz is really coming along.

i thought of some good people.

i went to walmart today and got orange juice and croissants and frozen salmon filets

i nearly bought bottled water but after listening to mary talk about plastic

and then making that video where i saw how our plastic ends up on the beaches

of poor countries on the other side of the world

i started drinking tap water tonight

lets see how long that goes for.

i am tired but not tired

i want to get on with the Los Feliz interviews and knock them out before my birthday

but i also want to enjoy this Dodgers Giants playoff series because

its really the World Series, who we kidding

Jordan texted me to tell me how much he liked the first of the Los Feliz interviews

and I thought of a great guest and wrote them

but who knows how often they check their email

who knows how well this good luck will go.

i am extremely happy with the one we posted today about Mary.

and drugs.


i wanted to make a video tonight but i got caught up in cooking and cleaning

the sink was full and so were the trash and kitty litter

its crazy how long all of that takes me

imagine if i was a wife with kids

how do they do it?



i interviewed some rock stars i love very much today

one of them insisted we wear masks, so why not

we talked about so many different things and fortunately they all took turns and included each other so it was a very even mix, which is hard to do with rock bands with four members

i was very nervous though. which is fine

nervousness makes me feel alive.

it’s good to feel like somethings on the line.

for example, i am very interested in a booty call very soon from someone special

but im nervous because theres still a plague going on

what if i get her sick, what if she gets me sick?

is all of this worth it?

probably not.

but we have to live. we get to live.

i wanna live.

but what if this is how i go.

or, worse, what if it kills her? and i was responsible?

all because i wanted to feel another person for a little while?

i would never forgive myself.

thus i interview bands instead of hold hands with glam godesses.