im not feeling myself

ive waited six months to get on some ADHD pills and now that im on them i hate them

they make me jittery and they dont even have speed in them

i am waking up in the middle of the night, im mad at everything

i feel like im on drugs

not fun, happy, natural things that come from the earth

but something sketchy that im forcing myself to tolerate bc i read on reddit they can take up to two months to get used to

it’s been like day three. ive tried them in the day and at night. both are bad.

not sure what to do.

suffer?

i failed again this weekend

last weekend i tried, this weekend i did better but still failed.

it’s damn near impossible to not go on twitter or instagram or facebook

for me, at least

i mean i wasnt on it long – about an hour for the weekend but the goal was zero

i was procrastinating.

so next week lets try to make it less than ahalf hour.

also a bunch of stuff went down and i wanted to feed the Los Angeleno twitter account.

also its a habit.

a weird weird habit.

tonight i finished a story that i thought up today and who knows maybe people will like it maybe they wont.

all i know is i thunk it up, did it and it’s done.

maybe it’s easy for you to do that but lately it’s been soooo hard.

all weekend i was working on a thing for Sass but my mind

what if i need adderall?

yikes.

for some reason that scares me.

i did succeed at something though. i won the toughest fantasy league i am in.

i think for 10 years ive played in this league and never won.

whats weird about this championship series is are manyboth of our teams couldnt hit over .200. we both struck out like crazy.

his complete game was the Worst, it was a double header game, so his pitcher only had to pitch 6 innings AND HE LOST

i would have been so pissed if i lost by 1 point because he got a CG out of such a sham.

thank God my pitchers were on fire.

whats really weird about this win was i wasnt even in the draft and i only kept like 3 of the players the computer picked for me.

whatever = W