yr not in kansas any more

The funniest Super Bowl commercial was the one in support for more funding for public schools.

Why? Because since he was a lad, Donald Trump was enrolled in private schools and since graduating has bankrupted numerous businesses, has been impeached and today flaunted that he doesn’t even know what state the Kansas City Chiefs play in.

Former Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill, a product of public schools, tweeted: “It’s Missouri you stone cold idiot.”

As my man Joe Armstrong notes, “671,018 Kansas residents voted for Donald in the 2016 election, bestowing upon him the state’s six electoral votes with 56.16% of the vote.”

Kansas hasn’t voted for a Democrat for POTUS since LBJ. Would be interesting if this gaff during their moment of celebration, swings the state blue in 2020.

stupid bowl

adam levine, the singer of the extremely mediocre Maroon 5, could have become a rock and NFL legend today

musicians from Rihanna to Cardi B turned down the honor of performing at halftime of the Super Bowl this year, in solidarity against the obvious collusion that has kept quarterback Colin Kaepernick out of the NFL.

through their performance levine took off a jacket, a sweater, and then his shirt before ending the show bare chested and stupid. if under his sweater was a Kaepernick jersey, levine would have won the hearts of gazillions.

instead neither he nor the band wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room and they pranced around like dingos, did their tunes, and got off the stage.

by now we should know that Maroon 5 will not save us. neither will most of the flashes in the pan that for one reason or another hang around beyond their expiration date.

but in the realm of rock n roll, there is a beautiful history of rebellion and protest that should never be forgotten. once upon a time tattoos were the symbol of defiance and individuality. today it’s just another accessory.

the nfl chose the right johnny bravos to keep things as least interesting as possible, but one day rock will return.

it’s Oscar Saturday, so let’s Ask Tony

Oskar asks: what will you be doing this year during the Oscars?

If you recall, last year I roamed the red carpet, Dolby Theatre and the adjoining Loews Hotel publishing everything cool that I ran into on Snapchat.

This year I will be doing pretty much the same thing (except with another year of experience under my belt) but on the Academy’s Instagram. Instagram Story to be specific.

If you aren’t following us already, follow TheAcademy on Instagram and get ready to see all that my All Access pass can provide. I should start the transmission around noonish and end around midnight. God willing.

What will you see? You will see all the things that you won’t be seeing on TV. So if you want to see it all, tune in to ABC on your TV and have your buddy Tony on your phone or iPad.

John Smith asks: is it possible to go down to the LA river where they shot the car chase scenes in repo man and grease?

Yes. But I wouldn’t recommend going down there right now as it has been raining the last few days and that area (just East of DTLA) is flooded and you might screw up your sweet car.

Tony Kletch asks: Stones or Beatles? 

I listen to the Stones at least once a week and if a Beatles tune comes on the radio I change it to Ozzy’s Boneyard. With that said, I listen to mostly the Stone’s 70s and 80s era tunes, so maybe my problem is mostly with the British Invasion era 60s stuff. But still, I prefer rock music as compared to pop.

Mark Johnson asks: Do you support expropriation of land from white farmers to be claimed by the State of South Africa?

I have the greatest friends. God bless you Mark. I don’t like the expropriation of any thing from any one. HOWEVER I think this is one of those rare moments where you can split the baby. I think instead of taking all the land from the white farmers, only half of it should be taken, and not by the state, but by the native South Afrikans.

Dougie Gyro asksWill Ohtani be a better hitter or pitcher?

Hitting MLB pitchers might be the toughest thing in all of sports. However, the Angels want to do this funky 6-man rotation which tells me they aint so confident about his pitching either. I know he’s young. I know he’s Babe Ruth. But I have a feeling they will use him as a SP and DH his first few years but will probably convert him to a long reliever and pinch hitter in years 3-4 when they realize there was only one Babe Ruth and he drank beers with children and ate hot dogs with strippers.

Michael Katz asks: Is Joe Flacco a elite qb?

History says nope. And says Jay Cutler should never have been a starter.

More to come!

in the days of chimpanzees i was a busblog

spent part of the weekend fighting with people on Twitter about why NFL players were kneeling during the National Anthem.

It’s tough to argue on Twitter for a few reasons:

1. some people want to remain in the dark

2. im a verbose SOB thus it’s tough to stick to just 140 letters

3. i was watching football and forgot that i was arguing with half of the South.

the biggest problem was these people kept wanting to say that by kneeling during the Anthem, the players are disrespecting the flag.

as if the flag has feelings. it’s cloth i told them.

THESE PLAYERS ARE PROTESTING THE FACT THAT COPS MURDER BLACK PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. I’d say.

but they didn’t want to hear it. and it was curious.

im sorry they arent protesting the way they want people to protest. when Trump tried to impose the racist Muslim ban, people took to the streets. The Trumpsters whined accusing the protesters of being paid. They complained that the traffic was bad now. They bitched that the signs were painting them in a bad light.

so here you have a protest that doesn’t affect anything. it doesn’t keep the flag from flying. it doesn’t keep the singer from singing. and it doesn’t even affect the game.

so they bring the military into it: “these selfish millionaire football players are disrespecting all the veterans who fought for this country!”

as if these Trumpsters care about the military. Aren’t a good chunk of homeless people veterans? Where were these defenders of the troops when W was cutting the VA?

but more importantly: is a veteran more American than a schoolteacher or a Community Organizer?

hey man, some of my best friends fought in wars. but members of the military are just Part of America. firefighters, nurses, farmers, fruit pickers, union bosses, seamstresses, and even your neighborhood blogger are all important parts of our society and we are all Americans who, when we are at our best, contribute to what makes the USA the second-greatest country in this continent.

hi baby.

long live every man woman and drone who defends this country and all the things we stand for but at what point is someone going to say, please stop using veterans as pawns for your bullshit argument?

the actual issue at hand is kids, teens, adults and even women have been straight up murdered by police and those cops paid no price even when they said

I DON’T KNOW WHY I SHOT THAT BLACK MAN WHO HAD HIS HANDS UP.

Yes. Yes you do. You know damn well why you do. And until we get that unsubstantiated fear out of the minds of our police force we are going to continue to have innocent dead black folks and athletes kneeling in protest.

but we can’t get there until we knock off this fucking shit about the flag or the military or the “country”.

until the flag murders a kid holding a toy gun, no one has any problem with the flag.

until the military says “i’m gonna kill this MFer”, kills a citizen, plants a gun on him and gets away with it, no one has a problem with the military.

athletes are kneeling because it is working. it is getting the word out there that police brutality and murder will not be tolerated.

the President of the United States wants to pretend that this is not about race or cops or anything other than the flag.

which is why you know it’s not about the freaking flag.

and now i wish i had learned how to run a Post Route so i could kneel

with my clenched fist up

during every anthem my team played on Sundays.

 

as you know im a bizarre man

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for years i have enjoyed Fantasy sports, but when i was at the Times, I was introduced to a fantasy game called Losers Football.

it’s really simple: you pick an NFL team that you think is gonna lose, if they lose that week you make it to the next week but you can’t use that team again.

the guy who runs it did a very smart thing, he made two leagues that happen simultaneously. the second league starts in Week 5, that way if you lose the first league early (which happens) then you can focus on the second league and continue to enjoy the season.

even though we started with 169 players, look who has made it to the Final 12.

this week i have the New York Jets losing to the New England Deflators.

it’s weird rooting for teams you hate or rooting against your favorite teams, but whatever, if i win I think I get $800.

Tom Brady better not break his leg early in this game.

tomorrow’s a big day at the beach house

First at 1:30pm the Bears take on the Philadelphia Eagles. Now a lot of people are starting to believe in the Bears, but if you’re a Bear fan you believe in nothing. Still, I’m going to be very excited. I do think the Bears have what it takes (freaky magic) to beat Donnovan McNabb and the Eagles, but so much depends on the the A-Train, good ole #35 Anthony Thomas. The Bears defense is mighty, but if they can establish a running game, it will be a pleasant afternoon for me and my neighbors on the malibu shore.

at sunset we get the Raiders.

the Raiders are the most talented team in the NFL. they’re also the most schitzo. anything can happen saturday night. if jerry rice starts to feel mortal he might catch 5 touchdowns. if he thinks he has a few more years left in him he might catch nothing but a cold in the winter wonderland of new england. it should be a beautiful game. i love big games when it’s snowing. especially next to a roaring fire in southern california.

i dont thank God enough in this Blog, but Good Lord, thank you for this season. My two favorite teams have marched into the playoffs looking strong, looking good, looking tough and fun and powerful and mighty. and I thank you for that. and I’ll be so thankful if i get to see them play next weekend.

amen.

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