can i help you

ive gotta wake up early to move the car and when i do the fog omg the fog

her name is %%! she answered the craigslist ad that amber put up

technically shes my afternoon girlfriend but we dont do nothin,

amber just doesnt want me to be lonely

i work all night, sometimes late enough to move the car before sleeping

around noon %%! knocked today waking me up, shes nice. not as pretty as amber

but i dont care.

after the cubs won the world series theres very little i care about other than amber.

%%! thinks i care too much. she could be right.

i care how long it takes amber to get home, i care what she eats and what she doesnt eat.

i buy her clothes and books and movie pass and ramen and bus tokens and massages

%%! is all, why dont you buy me anything and i say youre getting paid to sit there and paint your toe nails

she took the tuxedo off Prince yesterday and he went nuts scratching his wound

YOU CANT TAKE THAT OFF OF HIM UNTIL ITS READY

i yelled running to the hallway closet where the aloe lives

dabbed a heap of it on a wash rag and smeared it on his super gross bloody bald hairless gouge

slid his tux back on and he meowed in annoyed pain,

rolling onto his back trying to get at it

we cant get at it sweetie

%%! sighed

ever