why journalists shouldnt worry about how many friends they have online

banksy

this week i saw people who have 60,000 twitter followers who averaged 2 likes on each of their tweets

and i saw a couple of people with 500 followers who had a tweet retweeted 8,000 times.

there is a quiet elegance about what happens on twitter where

you have to produce.

just because youre someones favorite tv star or soccer player or dumbass

people arent going to retweet you unless they love what you said and they want their friends to see it.

thats it.

so even if marilyn monroe was around, people might “like” a tweet she put out there, even if it was crap

but if she totally busted with some wisdom

or posted a picture of a particularly adorable kitten

she’d get some damn retweets.

journalists should worry about doing their job first and foremost.

then they should tweet it out 3 or 4 times with a variety of super fascinating headlines.

one of em will catch if it’s a good story.

and guess what, if no one is retweeting your stuff,

don’t worry about it. some people are working and dont have time for fucking twitter.

another news site who never cared about its commenters kills comments

NPR commentsmy kingdom for a news outlet who would just own up to the fact that they fucking hate their commenters and thats why they are going to do the absolute worst thing to their website and kill the comments section.

once upon a time if you wanted to express yourself to your news outlet you had to write a letter, put it in an envelope and mail it in. only the very few would see their complaint or compliment published in the newspaper or read aloud on tv.

but then the Great Equalizer, the Internet, reared its ugly head and OMG teh Trollz pounced on ridiculous news stories and blog posts and ruined EVERYTHING.

did the newspapers, magazines, and radio stations pay money to Community Managers who knew how to “engage” the readers and steer conversations and referee and ban people and lift people up?

not really.

did the newspaper implement the worst commenting systems they could possibly create or buy – systems clearly written by teenage Russians for pennies on the dollar?

oh you’ve seen Tronc’s commenting system circa 2016?

did NPR, who probably has the smartest, brightest, most college educated audience in all of history hire anyone to show them exactly HOW they could take that priceless audience and figure out what Digg, Reddit, Metafilter, Gothamist, Reason, every serious sports blog and gads Gawker learned long ago: that sometimes the comments are the best part.

WHY WOULD THEY? DONT YOU KNOW, THE ON AIR PERSONALITIES ARE ALL THAT MATTER AND IF YOU UPSET THEM WITH FACT CHECKING AND CRITICISM THEN DOWN  DOWN DOWN GOES THE SHIP.

all of these comment quitters took their cues from their high school crush, the New York Times, who never wanted online comments to exist in the first place and were quick to remove comments from delicate articles which would attract the most heated discussions. so today they figure if the Gray Lady could do it, then they could – and should – as well. but thats even more bullshit because, again, who is more educated than the regular reader of the Paper of Record?

the catch is: who has a thinner skin than the editors and writers of the NYT who FOR SURE do not want hoards of unwashed desk jockeys telling them that they suck in between bababooeys right beneath their six month feature about the unrest in the Middle East.

too bad, journalists. too fucking bad.

do you think Magic Johnson looked forward to being booed in Boston and NY and Detroit and Chicago after running up and down basketball courts in those tight shorts? After years of working out and watching tape and figuring out defensive schemes? After hours of practice and conditioning, fighting through injuries and mother fucking HIV?

the answer is YES!

Magic Johnson absorbed the boos of tens of thousands at the Garden because Magic Johnson is a G.D professional and he knows that those people are the ones who paid for his many mansions and the best way to shut them up is to fucking rule.

Or in the case of the ultra sensitive journalists: don’t read the damn comments.

Or in the case of the fuckit we didnt want it anyway editors of web sites: learn how to turn those lemons into champagne.

Reddit’s entire world is comments, why can’t you figure it the fuck out?

Answer: because you are lazy and Web 0.2 and hate your commenters and all you really want to do is talk AT your audience, not with them, and you should really just admit it and quit being lying liars.

Tribune changes its name to tronc

tronc

as you know i grew up reading the Chicago Tribune

it’s a major reason i wanted to be a writer and go into journalism.

never did i think that i would ever become either of those things, but it happened.

during my time at the Tribune-owned LA Times i had lots of ideas.

most of them were rejected either directly or indirectly by “Chicago” aka Tribune.

little did i know that all i had to say was

yo, you should change the name of the company to tronc.

so the lesson i learned yesterday was

keep being creative, keep pitching ideas, shake off the rejections

one day they’ll say yes

tronc yeah they will

why this headline should say “Uber Driver’s Family Gets $500k”

uber driver

Journalists aren’t the only ones who don’t know how to deal with Uber, cops need help too.

Over the past two years that Uber has been a household word, news stories about Uber Driver This and Uber Driver That get published breathlessly every week in coverage that no other transportation sector attracts.

No matter if the suspected criminal was actually ridesharing at the moment of the crime or not, the word Uber somehow gets popped in the headline.

Unless something good happens, and then it miraculously disappears from the headline and the fact that ridesharing Actually was the reason something happened is the also buried into the tale.

Look no further than this story. An Uber driver was involved in an accident in 2014 in Santa Clara. He had a dashcam. He had the damaged car towed to his cousin’s house and went home with the dashcam.

st. claraTurns out the Uber driver didn’t own the car. The owner of the car showed up to the cousin’s house to look at the car and get the dashcam. When he was told it wasn’t in the house, the owner called the cops, who a few days later searched the house and then much later took a battering ram to the house looking for the camera.

The cousin then sued the cops for super totally overreacting and said they did so because he was Muslim. This week the city settled with the cousin for a half million. $150k going to his lawyers and $350k going to him. Oh yeah, and he works for for the border control for Homeland Security.

So are we to believe that cops went aggro at the residence of, basically, one of their own, because he was Muslim? In Santa Clara, in the heart of Silicon Valley, which is home to many many peaceful and law-abiding Muslims?

No. The cops went aggro because in 2014 Uber was new and unproven. Cops are leery and would die to be one of the first to reveal OMG video of an Uber car getting into a crash. Imagine the potential handwringing!

So they huffed and they puffed and knocked down dude’s door. Who knows what other Uber-related incriminating evidence could be in there?

Tell me that’s not more believable than: OMG I CANT STAND THOSE MUSLINS LETS HARASS THEM IN BROAD DAYLIGHT SURROUNDED BY ALL THEIR MUSLIN FRIENDS

In Santa Clara? Named after a saint?

Santa Clara’s State Rep is a Democrat who has served since 2007, its State Senator is a Democrat who replaced a previous Democrat who was termed out. Santa Clara’s US Rep is a Democrat who has served for three years who replaced a long time Democrat who had just retired.  I’m not saying a heavily Democratic area can’t have some bad cops…

But I am saying, what is far more likely is even though technically the gentleman had the type of job that would usually shield him from such police aggression, it was probably not because of his religion that the officers were so intensely motivated, it was the evidence they were seeking, namely that it would be negative towards Uber.

And that’s why we need Uber drivers in every newsroom.

Or better yet, journalists to admit that they too overreact when a negative so-called Uber story appears and clam up when a positive one pops up. Or so it seems in their papers and websites.

the starmen, theyre just like us

bowie

one of the unexpectedly great parts of working at the times when i did was getting to work with sooo many talented writers and editors.

one of the coolest was the very laid back dean kuipers, who i knew had previously worked at spin, my favorite magazine, but it wasn’t until tonight that i learned that he worked at Raygun, which for a while was the coolest mag in the world.

naturally dean had befriended David Bowie back in the day and the pair were working on an avant garde movie(?!?!) when this fascinating exchange happened, dean writes in today’s times:

On the second day of working together, with no one else in the room, Bowie took a long look at me and said, “Dean, do you think my work is still relevant?”

My heart broke. He worried that his surreal vision was too obscure, his many personae too fragmented. I reassured him that when your art is one of the root references of the present, you are always relevant.

“I wonder,” he said, unconvinced.

so yes, even david bowie, the man we are all remembering fondly, and missing, and fawning over

had real self doubts about the one thing he had been doing beautifully his whole life.

im so grateful dean wrote about this today.

like reddit and the busblog,

sometimes the comments on Digg are the best part, but youtubes were great on this video

the hard hitting reporter turned anchor katie couric asked the Fox TV ratings prince via the proxy of “the twitter question” from a young lady in florida “what did you mean by ‘white culture’ (when you said that president obama was racist)”?

strangely the tv talk guy became tongue tied.

the video shot to the top of Digg yesterday and the comments were biting on youtubes:

– two douchebag insects are placed into an air-tight jar and shaken vigorously. a fight ensues; but for the winner, victory is futile: there is no air in the jar.

– I love how Beck tries calling Katie out for laying a trap, but immediately drops it realizing how pathetic that dead end, as if a simple question, by definition, is a trap. Katie’s aplomb is priceless. Beck’s bumbling the same.

– “Americans should ask tough questions.” Haha, yeah, and then they should dodge them with red herrings.

– I like to watch him squirm. It makes him look like a frog in hot water.

– lol katie is talking to him like he’s a kindergartner, trying to appease him so he could attempt to answer the question

– I just said, to an empty dark room… “you’re an —hole.”

– Beck is having his Palin Moment.

– He’s stunningly bipolar.

– Wow, it’s like watching a real life Michael Scott from The Office… or is he more Andy Bernard? Either way, Glenn Beck belongs at Dunder Mifflin.

wonkettes were pretty funny too

black people loot, white people find

black people looting?aka Another reason why you need some brothas in the newsroom.

earlier today i told you how i watched the news yesterday and winced when i saw my people seemingly looting in streets seas of new orleans.

i winced because as a proud young black man it hurts me whenever i see one of my brethren getting caught in stereotypically embarrassing activity – even when its happening in an impoverished part of america in the wake of an ungodly rough natural disaster.

in fact some might argue that stealing diapers and milk and bread in a flooded-out grocery store isn’t true looting because those goods would spoil or be damaged well before that market could re-open.

im not so gracious. theft is theft and i dont like to see anyone do it regardless of the situation.

but thats me, mr. vegas.

there was a great deal of looting in the last few days in the big easy, apparently, because even white people got into the act.

the problem is, for some strange reason Agence France-Presse via Yahoo! decided, through editorializing in their captions, that when Black people liberated libations from the flooded foodstores that they were looting

however AFP figured that when this white couple pictured on the left were caught doing the same exact bullshit they had merely “found” the merchandise.

now some may say, ah theyre French, theyre not racists. the French LOVE Black people! look how warmly they accepted our jazz musicians 40-50 years ago.

etc.

and those very same apologists might say, “perhaps ‘found’ is what you get when you translate “loot” into french and back to english”

and of course thats what id want to believe too – the notion that AFP doesnt know how to call looting looting

but then how do they explain this?

so now we’re back to white people find and black people loot.

merde.

then we have the issue with Yahoo! who collects these pictures and throws them up on the web. i dont really see how theyre blameless in this apparent racism either.

yes its not their pictures or their text but they are partners with AFP and AP and the rest – are you telling me that theres no oversight whatsoever to make sure that inaccuracies and mistakes dont get distributed throughout the world?

what if someones phone number accidentally gets in the caption? what if someone’s address gets in the information? what if the complete wrong name is thrown up there and its a murder suspect or a kiddie porn suspect? Yahoo bears no responsibility for what they send to their readers? i think not.

and isn’t it an alleged looter? arent you innocent of a crime until you are proved guilty? did all their sense get hurricaned away while they were writing these captions?

what if that Black kid was sent by his father to collect everything that he could from their market before the cop-looters showed up? what, a Black man cant own a market?

thats why the pros say alleged my friends, alleged.

i dont care if that cameraman saw that little kid kick down the door and run out of there with a garbagebag full of bubblegum and whiskey, how is that cameraman supposed to know that wasnt bought a day ago and he has a receipt? how does he know he wasnt sent by his neighbor who owns the market to get him his Tums?

alleged.

a Brotha in the newsroom would ask those questions of his editor. and theyre not bad questions to ask “boss is this looting or is this taking? are we editorializing if we say loot? shouldnt i just write ‘a young man swims home with his bag full of items from the market’?”

but what i really want to know is how on Earth the white couple ended up with a caption that read that they just happened to “find” bread in the store and how that wasnt looting.

was there a sign on the store that said “take all you can find! shit we’re flooded, y’all!”

and if there was i as the editor would have asked for a picture of the sign, and if one didnt exist the caption would have included the text of the sign.

i talk a lot about the Daily Nexus at UCSB on this blog.

we wouldnt have made these mistakes and we didnt have a journalism school on campus, we didnt have any creepy adult advisors telling us what to say and what not to say, we just had a bunch of over achieving writers who loved journalism and who taught each other that to be objective is to be professional and there is always a better way to tell a story

and the best way is to be fair and true and ultimately responsible for what happens under your masthead.

AFP and Yahoo! need to apologize for this major gaffe.

and if theyre serious about their apologies they need to hire some African-Americans pronto on their editorial staffs to make sure this shit doesnt happen again.

white people find + black people loot + via metafilter + also discussed on fark

dear major newspaper or magazine, please let me work for you.

tony pierce?

yes?

hi, we’re a major newspaper or magazine.

oh hi. Hi!

yes, we would like to hire you.

praise Jesus.

we wont pay you much.

thats ok.

you wont get to write anything good right away.

thats fine.

we’ll make you write in our patented style.

thats cool.

you wont get a very nice desk or window.

who cares?

we’ll call you nigger boy.

ive been called worse.

you probably wont get promoted for a while.

thats nothing new.

we wont give you any coffee.

i dont like coffee.

and no smoke breaks.

i dont smoke either.

do you think this is some sort of joke or something?

nope.

i dont like your attitude.

but i dont have an attitude.

yes you do, its a positive attitude.

trust me, it’s fake.

do you really date all those girls?

what girls? oh, yes.

and you really have all those friends?

i actually have way more.

and youre saying you dont have a positive attitude?

im saying its a fake positive attitude.

so youre lying all day?

sometimes if youre bummed and you start seeing things as bummed then that can spiral into even more bummed. same goes if youre happy. if you fake being happy, sometimes nice things happen to you for no good reason.

you would never fit in here.

thats ok, i dont fit in anywhere.

kitty bukakke on fire