last night the first black president stepped up to the plate
and did what he normally does
he looked around, pointed to deep centerfield
and hit the ball exactly where he pointed
and ran around the bases casually
smiling
as the whole world cheered.

yet for nearly eight years we sat there
and listened to nincompoops and idiots
bitch and whine that
Nobama didn’t do this or did that wrong or foolishly.

people have the shortest memories.

things were so bad in 2007 that when Obama won his first presidential election
some speculated that the Republicans didn’t even really try to win
because they knew that no one could lift us out of the
shitty stinky fucked up hole
that eight years of Bush / Cheney sank us into.

and even though for most of his 8 years he had a do nothing Congress
who said straight up that they were going to do everything they could
to make sure he would only be a one-term president
he ended up being one of the greatest leaders
an America ever had.
twenty million people now have health insurance
millions of gays and lesbians can get married now
and be in the armed forces without having to pretend
our national debt has been reduced
millions of people who were unemployed now have jobs
the stock and real estate markets are booming.

and best of all, the Cubs are on their way to becoming a Dynasty.

if some grumpy old white Republican dude with gray hair and a big belly
had done this
they’d be talking about adding him to Mount Rushmore

never let them convince you
even for a minute
that Obama isn’t spectacular.
they are jealous,
and they should be
on so many levels.

Rolling Stone: How do you make sense of the Donald Trump phenomenon?

Louis CK: I’m not gonna tell Americans how to feel — I think you gotta get out of the way of people’s feelings. It’s a self-cleaning system. Whenever anybody says, “The voters are stupid” – well, the voters elected Obama against a war hero and a multimillionaire, which are classic choices for the other side. I have faith in the American people because of that. And if Trump does win, I feel like we will figure it out.

i also love that Obama is having a nice victory lap. he deserves it. no one thought that he could do the things he’s done.

in fact when he won the first time i thought, they just let him win because they didnt wanna clean up the mess that W left him.

but he did clean it up. by himself. and he didn’t even make it look tough. the GOP did their best to obstruct him but he just smiled and said pick a card any card.

and they said we’re not playing this stupid game

he said why not.

they said because if you guess the card you look like Cool Obama always picking the right cards and we look like Dumb Old Sticks In The Muds

he said, cut the pack then.

they said no. because if we cut the pack then you will do something amazing and we’ll look like Dumb Old Bumps on a Log.

and President Obama said, we are all in this together. i ALREADY won the presidency. you’ll never be able to impeach me and i’m not gonna quit, so, you know, if you work With me, it will look like we are both doing this magic and you can add it to the reasons people should re-elect you, because you

actually helped the people who voted for you

and they thought about it for a minute and said, no, we will not pick a card, we will not cut the deck

then Obama said, thats ok, i understand, i mean im just a half white half black man from kenya who

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

i said im half black and half white

NO, THAT OTHER THING YOU SAID!

he said, oh that, well i actually wrote it down on a card, pick one and it’ll be written on it.

YOU WROTE THAT YOU WERE FROM KENYA ON A CARD?

you’ll see when you pick it, the president said and they leapt at the deck

they took a card, it was the Ace of Spades

they frowned and threw it on the ground

of course it landed face up and read:

<3 Hawaii In Da House <3

and good luck on the massive job ahead of you… and all of us