right now im waiting for something

and i do not like it

youd think Cub fans would be the best people in the world at waiting for things but no, i can be extremely impatient

and impulsive

and, quite frankly, extremely rude and unconscious.

this hunkering down has shown me that i can just reel off one insult after another at the pretty mostly naked girl in my house and not even realize it

the very same girl who has been cooking and cleaning and remodeling the bachelor pad that i have put my imprint on for nearly two decades.

the sweet soul that i promised to never do anything bad to because the World had been so cruel to her over time, but there i am, firing lasers at her weak spots, unknowingly, because if you give a man a hammer the whole world seems like cockroaches

today was a trying day. most of these are. people dying people getting sick people getting scared of things.

today the richest man in town shuttered three local newspapers just days after laying 40 others off.

how can you do that? what goes through your mind?

this is not the way of the jedi. this is not the way i would do it. this is not why you have been blessed with treasures upon treasures upon treasures.

i did a training in one of those newsrooms many moons ago. it was tiny. sooo tiny. even then. so now it must have been like 4-5 people. how do you do that?

before that i was driving around manhattan beach because i heard it was open. but i was interviewing these weed people and i wasnt sure if my technology was capturing their words. i rely so much on the grace of God.

and thank heaven He came through.

do the rich believe in the Lord? when you get so wealthy do you think you had something to do with it that nobody else could figure out?

i have so many questions but the thing i was impatient about finished way quicker than i expected.

i should kiss the girl now.