my best friend will never be lou reed

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and i’ll never produce “Walk on the Wild Side” for him

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i’ll never be the coolest dude in a photo when the other two are from the Stones and the Who

The Outtakes of David Bowie's Iconic _Heroes_ Album Cover Shoot (6)

i’ll never always have the perfect expression on my face

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my second wife will not be a super hot somalian super model who stays out of the news

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i’ll never wear clothes that makes my eye patch seem like the obvious perfect accessory

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i’ll never write “Fame” with John Lennon

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i’ll never write “Under Pressure” with Freddie Mercury

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i’ll never look menacingly ice cold in my mug shot with one blue eye and one brown eye

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when i take my baby out on a stroll i’ll never look ridiculously amazing

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but i do hope to shake hands with iggy pop in red square one day

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so thank you david bowie for the inspiration!