ever work so hard that you look up and you notice its 3pm

and you havent eaten lunch yet?

ever go upstairs for a weekly meeting and theres a film crew shooting a new Deniro flick and it looks like Bobby D is going to be using your old office back when you had an office?

ever get chewed out by the sexiest girl who dumps you tells you your selfish tells you she never wants to see you again tells you you kissed bad tells you you held hands bad tells you that youre the opposite of compatible and then a month later in the middle of the night informs you that she just noticed that you “defriend”ed her on facebook and wants to know why youd do something that mean?

ever go back and forth on something in your mind like 100 times in a day “yes i will go to SXSW, no i wont go to SXSW, yes i will, no i wont, they need me here, they need me there, its too expensive, its pricelss, the bands, the contacts, the booze, the food, the opportunites, the insight, the travel, the late nights, the early morns, the expense, the waste, the couch you could buy, the bed you could buy”

ever try to be good at 3pm and head down to the cafeteria for a chicken salad and theres no chicken and you have to eat a completely vegetarian salad. dont these people know youre lightskinned but very much a black man in Black History Month, thus chicken is not an option its a necessity?

ever go to bed at 4:20am and you have no idea why it took you so long to get there?

ever wonder how hard howard stern is laughing now that he knows that his old radio station in LA has gone from #1 when he was on in the mornings to forced to change their format to music because the hole he left was so grande that Adam Corolla, Tom Lyekis, or Frosty Heidi and Frank couldnt fill it?

ever wonder how you can get a gig blogging about Vegas for the LA Times and your current assignment is being “embedded” inside the worlds most popular whore house?

ever wonder when they will make a battery that could get recharged by the sun?

ever wonder how long it would take the USA’s first black attorney general to call the land of the free “a nation of cowards” in regards to race relations?

ever wonder how much i heart you?

be your own pet at the mohawk patio

because the LA Times has slightly different rules than the busblog (ok very different rules), there were some shows where i only shot 30-40 seconds of video, because thats all that we can use on our blogs there in regards to live concerts.

i know everyone will say well fuck tony whats the point then?

and i would normally agree, but i would also say that one can write about how a young woman was running around writhing in seeming pain, and you can even have a photo or twelve of her doing it,

but to have even 36 seconds of video sometimes tells the story way better than words or photos or even etch-a-sketchess could provide.

thus here are some words, pics, and a quick video of Be Your Own Pet vs J. Mascis vs Thurston Moore and the New Wave Bandits at the mohawk stage friday at sxsw, a show i was lucky enough to see with whitney of usa today and ken basart of dan grant for congress

i feel sorry for the people who dont get it

i feel sorry for people who use IE. i feel sorry for people who dont blog – as in really blog. i feel sorry for people who dont take pictures of their lives and share them. i feel sorry for people who dont understand and embrace web 2.0. i feel sorry for assholes, particularly those who dont listen to death metal. i feel sorry for anyone who hasnt been kissed by a girl in her teens this century.

but most of all i feel sorry for people who see the future and dont see themselves in it in a big way.

this thing that im in, this sxsw thing, is not just about the future its about the present. there were two big huge keynotes over the last two days. the first was on sunday with the twentysomething yr old founder of facebook who was offered a half billion for his site and said no and was offered over a billion for his shit and said ha and today his site is allegedly worth 15 billion dollars and he still isnt selling out.

gen y taking a chapter outta the book of gen x which is fuck you and your fucking money. shove it up your ass and lemme help you.

the other big huge keynote was with frank warren who spoke with yours truly for a few minutes after he spoke to thousands. ps i love my job. whats so important about frank is he created a space for people to share their deepest darkest secrets and according to this man we all have at least one secret that will make us cry or make the world cry or make people say holy crap man. whats important about his blog and his site and his books are they are the epitome of User Generated Content. they are the example of Anonymous and the power of the human spirit when the ego gets set aside and the Story gets raised where it should be: up high for all the kids to see.

i feel sorry for people who dont understand that this world is changing so fast that even the world doesnt know how to react or what to call it or what to do. the only thing you can’t do is think you can stop the progress. the signal cannot be stopped. the tick tock of the clock cant be untocked. nor should it be. there certainly was an asswipe somewhere back in the day who said fuckit you people can try to cross the mississip im gonna stay right here in virginia

like a bitch.

dont stay in virginia, virginia. come out to cali. keep xploring. keep climbing the sierras. keep trekking across the great divide. keep meeting new girls and keep kissing them,

when its an open bar at a canadian hosted party order doubles and tip triple

when its an open internet with very few rules floor that fuckr and close your eyes and use the force luke and head for the light.

i feel bad for every single person who still thinks this is the 20th century.

i feel so bad for anyone who can read these words and doesnt appreciate the system of zeros and ones and men and women who brought it to them.

many of whom are young.

most of whom only want good in this world.

most of whom when given light and water will grow like noones business.

and will only grow faster when fertilized with bullshit so keep crapping on the youth of america and see what your devious cockblocking does for you.

nothing

what you resist persists.

what you avoid

assploids

im a man and im a boy im eighteen and I LIKE IT

today the bands for sxsw were announced.

these are the ones im happy to see on the list

Anathallo (Chicago IL)
Antietam (New York NY)
Joseph Arthur (Brooklyn NY)
A Thousand Knives Of Fire (Long Branch NJ)
The Bad Rackets (Austin TX)
Be Your Own Pet (Nashville TN)
Bible of the Devil (Chicago IL)
Blackholicus (Austin TX)
The Black Keys (Akron OH)
Billy Bragg (London UK)
Brother Reade (Winston Salem NC)
The Cool Kids (Chicago IL)
Correatown (Yuba City CA)
Dixie Witch (Austin TX)
The Donnas (Palo Alto CA)
Matthew Good (Burnaby BC)
Hanson (Tulsa OK)
The Happy Hollows (Los Angeles CA)
Har Mar Superstar (Los Angeles CA)
Holy Fuck (Toronto ON)
The Homosexuals (London UK)
Honeycut (Berkeley CA)
Hong Kong Blood Opera (Hermosillo MEXICO)
Jesca Hoop (Los Angeles CA)
The Hush Sound (Chicago IL)
Ice Cube (Hollywood CA)
The Iguanas (New Orleans LA)
Indian Jewelry (Houston TX)
Kaki King (New York NY)
Langhorne Slim (Langhorne PA)
Limbeck (Long Beach CA)
Shelby Lynne (Palm Springs CA)
Lyrics Born (Oakland CA)
Made Out Of Babies (Brooklyn NY)
Matt & Kim (New York NY)
MGMT (Brooklyn NY)
Minipop (San Francisco CA)
Thurston Moore (Northampton MA)
N.E.R.D. (Virginia Beach VA)
No Age (Los Angeles CA)
Dolly Parton (Sevierville TN)
Steve Poltz (San Diego CA)
The Presidents of The United States of America (Seattle WA)
Ra Ra Riot (Syracuse NY)
The Raveonettes (New York NY)
Rogue Wave (Oakland CA)
Sea Wolf (Los Angeles CA)
Sia (London UK)
The Soundtrack of Our Lives (Gothenburg SWEDEN)
The Submarines (Los Angeles CA)
Tapes ‘n Tapes (Minneapolis MN)
This Bike is a Pipe Bomb (Pensacola FL)
The Ting Tings (Manchester UK)
Tokyo Police Club (Toronto ON)
Vampire Weekend (New York NY)
VHS or Beta (Louisville KY)
The Von Bondies (Detroit MI)
The Vines (Sydney AUSTRALIA)
When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (Austin TX)
The Whigs (Athens GA)

full list of 1500+ bands here + list of cities represented

sxsw didnt knock me down

post office sxsw

like it did some others. if anything it charged me up. you realize how lazy you are when you see 10 bands in one night, while walking, while drinking, while bearly eating.

since Lent started i have seemed to have lost about 8 pounds of pure fast food. but im fucking up and drinking regular coke but you only die once so whatevers.

one of the things that i learned in austin was i can party for 11 hours straight and still write more than most people. the only website that came close to our coverage was pitchfork who had four people. just wait till next year pitchfork. just wait.

i missed a lot of shows that i shoulda seen, and i shoulda stayed a day later, but on my flight home i got to fly with the hottest chick at e! when i was there. now shes a vj for a website and gets to interview all these bands and hook up with rockstars.

trust me the voice in my head that i call the devil was going crazy “youre boring her. you have no good stories. you have no good ideas about music. youre so dull. look shes even taller than you.”

but thanks to sxsw, especially the part where everyone was happy to meet me, namely the interactive part, helped massage the ego of the other voice in my head that i call the angels, and the angels were all, “youre black youre rich and youre well educated.” the angels always love to throw one piece of bs in there to make me feel better, and often times its good to just pretend to be what they say you are.

we had hours of great conversation and it turns out that shes totally into the grates as much as i am.

jeanine picked me up and drove me home and there were so many packages waiting for me and it was so weird to be home, it was so weird not to be buzzed, it was so weird to have clean clothes to slip into, food to break into, legs to slip next to, rock to get high to.

yesterday i wrote that no way could that festival get better, but i was wrong, it totally could get better if you were there next time.

and then i made a photo essay.

and then i told the ho to go but the ho didnt wanna go so she pretended to fall asleep and i pretended to fart and she pretended to laugh

and i pretended to be mad and she pretended to be bad and i pretended to whip that ass with my obey belt and she pretended that it hurt but her erogenous zones were saying something entirely different.

and then i pretended to be suave and walked over to the jukebox and pretended that i totally didnt have an itunes playlist all set up just incase a teenage runaway was pretending not to love being in my room with its christmas lights twinkling, and then i ate her soul.

so guess whose summer vacation just suddenly arrived?

ice cream man coachella mine.

hi tony.

hi vacation?

i didnt think i was going to have a summer vacation, and ive gotta say, i was a little jealous of a lot of bloggers out there who were all pumped that their finals were over or they were graduating, and that they were going to laze into trying to find a little job to get their parents off their back, but mostly work on hitting the sand surf and suntan oil.

why is it that may has found me unemployed two years in a row now?

because the Lord loves me? lets pretend that thats why.

who knows, its probably true.

mid october i started working at buzznet. immediately i was sent to nyc to attend the BlogOn conference with mc brown. we threw our first east coast Buzznet meetup party at Lolita in chinatown. ironically i was abducted by a couple of lolitas right after meeting jamie and his girl, and several other manhattanites, but i managed to escape in the morning. i also hung with AJ who i hadnt seen in quite a while, scott and tons of friends, hung with amy, met jeff jarvis, met my book agent, and even ate with anne ferris. and saw the daily show, thanks to jason ross.

as soon as we got back to LA we had a Los Angeles Buzznet meetup back when the office was sort of still a loft. i met so many buzznetters who i’d always admired, but never met. plus a lot of the girls from my old job at look-look showed up and i had missed them so that was killer.

that next week one of buzznet’s biggest bands was playing at the wiltern. fall out boy. they were playing with panic! at the disco and motion city soundtrack. so i was sent down there to pass out flyers about buzznet and take pics of the kids in line. the kids were wonderful and now panic! is a top 40 band. i took over 100 pics.

i would have gone to the show but i had to run over to Tower on Sunset to take a bunch of pics of Tsar doing an instore. then i ate a burrito and hustled back to the strip to take a bunch more pics of tsar who rocked the roxy.

a few weeks later i was flown to vancouver, bc, canada where we had our first canadian buzznet meetup. i hung out with matt good and took tons of pics and from the best ones i made this photo essay. i met so many cool canadians it was ridiculous. i was treated like the queen. id be back.

juliette lewisi got back to LA in enough time to take over 100 pictures at the Doo Dah parade. and that night i went to see Juliette Lewis and the Licks play with Tsar. i took hella pics including that crazy one of juliette on the right, who i adore. tsar ruled too, fyi.

a week later i flew to chicago and for a thanksgiving Chicago Buzznet Meetup. among others i got to meet jessica and erin who partied with me and bob all night. as in All night. so fun. hi kids from oswego. hi brian and byron. the best part of the meetup was it was in the shadows of wrigley field. so rad.

the first week of december found me at the virgin at hollywood and highland for an inxs in-store. inxs was working with buzznet at the time so i got to take a bunch of pics for them for inxs.com and buzznet. it was an honor.

a few days later i shot a ton of pics of tsar at spaceland where they were just named one of the top bands in los angeles by the LA Weekly. my highlight was getting a half dozen pics of poison guitarist cc deville with rocket and tsar.

my mind is fuzzy but i think somewhere in december i helped buzznet have their biggest hit day ever, biggest hit week, and biggest day of signups. we all hugged each other and it was decided that i was the man, because i had used the guidelines given to me from the book buzzmarketing to create attention and news to our site.

to celebrate i drove up to san francisco where i hung out again with jessica and many other cool kids where we sang karaoke. by we i dont mean me. then i drove up through northern california to umpqua oregon and celebrated Christmas in Eugene. i pretty much worked every day of this so called vacation. not because i had to but because i wanted to. i loved doing what i was doing.

after Christmas i drove up through some rainbows to tacoma and actually sang karaoke with the pants who is far more beautiful in real life. the next day i drove through seattle to take pics of kurt kobains old neighborhood and his old house.

made it to vancouver again, had sushi with mr good again. turned around the next day, drove through oregon and tried to go down the 1 but there was super flooding happening. i saw a dead cow in an overflooded river. it was so sad. got stuck in southern oregon. worked from the motel. got up in the morning and took lots of pics.

got home on new years day and took pics of the rain coming down on the rose parade.

in the middle of january koganuts from virgin megastore started inviting me and buzznet to some of their secret shows. the first one was with giant drag. i took pics. i wasnt very good with the camera that we had bought. but i was there. i did what i could. a week later we were invited to the Coachella The Movie premiere. i took a bunch of pics there on the red carpet including my hero the cobrasnake.

near the end of the month i was on a date with a super hot chick when heather graham showed up to have her birthday party there. i took this picture which got linked by defamer. heather’s way hotter than that but we had both been drinking for many hours at that point. me, i had been drinking for 6 hours by then. of course cobrasnake was there.

a few weeks later my true love Chris moved off to africa. i said let me take some pics. she said no. i said baby i work for a photo sharing community, i sorta have to. plus your cans look great in that shirt, i mean your eyes are so beautiful. she sneered and almost smiled. then she smiled. then she almost cried.

a few days after that, this is february by the way, i was sent to Amsterdam by the dutch government. i figured this would be a good time to have our first european buzznet meet up. i got to meet bicyclemark, the dude from americablog, justagirl and tons of other cool kids. it was cold but i took shittons of pics and even found some pics to put on buzznet that got us tens of thousands of hits. i know it may have looked like a vacation but i worked and produced and got buzznet some great attention. justagirl even got to hear me vomit. lucky babe.

blogging while black sxswtwo weeks after i returned i was being sent to Austin Texas for SXSW. i got to meet leah for the first time which was a thrill because we’d been reading each other since she was 15. i got to speak on two panels. i met sooooo many cool people it was retarded. i got interviewed a bunch. and me and marc saw tons of bands and took tons of pics and video. in fact almost every night i was at the red bull house, of which we were co-sponsors and we were mentioned the usa today blog pop candy.

i worked and partied every night till 3am almost every single night. asher was great, bunny was great, the pants, ev and robert, marc canter, dan and sara, the fajita prince, dooce and jon, halley and scoble – they were all killer. i even got to take a few hundred pics of one of our most popular Buzznet band, my chemical romance. far more pics of them than anyone on the web. plus i was blogging on the buzznet blog almost every day. oh and we got to hang with the texas roller girls, of whom i took buckets of pics.

despite all the hits i generated for buzznet, or all the kickass people i met, or attention i brought to them, probably my proudest moment were those ten days that we covered sxsw interactive and music. no other outlet covered it every day, took tons of pics, took tons of video, and wrote about it every damn day. not pitchfork, not mtv, not anyone. i was there even after it was over to see how the locals rocked. the best bands of the event? the bellrays, honkey, and the go! team.

it was there that i got sick and didnt recover until this week. exhaustion? burn-out? stress? who knows. all i do know is i got a day off when i returned and i was back at it the day after that and i wanted to be at it. i loved what we had done and coachella was right around the corner.

when i got home i took pics of Hard-Fi at the virgin private show thing. they were rad.

the next week i found myself in toronto slash waterloo for a one night only toronto buzznet meet up. i was there for 24 hours. just enough time to see toronto for the first time, catch a matt good show, and go to a strip club with pitt and chad and mikey and fil and raymi and a few others. i also got to meet the outlaw and several others who pulled me aside at the show to introduce themselves. oh canada, thanks for making me feel like a star. oh we also saw a baseball game at the dome. yes all of this in 24 hours. and we went to tim hortons.

every day for the month of april i wrote at least one pre-write about coachella in the buzznet coachella blog, i even asked fellow bloggers to run a free blogad to it and 30 of you were nice enough to do so, and then at the end of april we were there at coachella. i even blogged about that. some of the posts were silly, but the point was to do just like how we did SXSW – provide the best coverage BY FAR of any other outlet in the world. pre-writes, photos, videos, and post coverage.

buzznet was the official photosharing community for the fest. i got to do so many things but mostly i took pics and helped others upload their pictures onto buzznet. sometimes for the first time ever. it was hot. and at the end of the two day fest we had collected and uploaded nearly Four Thousand Photos. i think we had done our job.

coachella 2015oh and we got 128 videos, including some silly interviews i conducted with people who were camping out in the tents, the security chief, and a tour of the campground, among others.

madonna, matisyahu, kanye west, wolfmother, the yeah yeah yeahs, and cat power were my favorite bands that weekend. but the best part was working with my coworkers at buzznet: marc, lizy, mark, bree, steve, bree’s boyfriend and marks drummer. and the good people at coachella and the at&t blue room who both stoked us. there is nothing more enjoyable to me than to work with a great team of people who just work and get the job done. to me its all about results and the results of that gig mostly have to go to marc and the content team. flickr would have loved to have had our spot but coachella loves buzznet, and should.

still on the ride home i pulled over and barfed and told lizy that it was because i had a bad feeling that our results wouldnt be met with the love that it should. and sometimes being right will make you sick to your stomach.

when we got back we were mentioned in the usa today, defamer linked it, laist linked to it.

right after coachella i was tasked to start finding great content for a new project buzznet is slowly unveiling called big hombre, a blog of sorts for young men in the vein of maxim or fhm, mostly about hot babes, funny videos, and street fights and stuff. every day i was supposed to find a certain amount of content, write funny headlines, and post them. among other things that i did, when i had extra time i started giving people photography assignments in our forums. one forum discussion got over 500 posts in a few days. pretty much a record that i doubt will be broken any time soon.

all in all i was responsible for at least 13 million page views to buzznet in the seven and a half months that i was there. no one user had ever attracted more than 2.5 million hits other than the pretty boy bass player of the top 40 band fall out boy. i had one user account that got 9.5 million hits, another which is at 2.3 million, and my personal account went over a million hits just a few weeks ago, meaning not only had i been the only person to ever have two accounts to ever get over 2 million, but the only one to ever have three go over a million.

and to be honest, before i showed up no one even thought that anyone could get a million that quick, but one of my accounts did more than that in a week.

buzznet stickeri took over 4,000 pictures and posted them, i wrote over 100 blog entries, i sent out over 50,000 messages to our users, and in seven months i hosted seven buzznet meetups in three different countries, most of the time at no cost to the company. i think i was a pretty decent community manager.

unfortunately not everyone saw it that way. which is why tonight im unemployed.

so my plan going forward is to try a few things. i want to send my resume to a few companies, but i cant see them saying yes. i mean the cubs will probably say, dude we already have a black manager and he sucks.

then i will probably get scared and compile a new collection of better-than-average busblog posts like what i did in How To Blog, and maybe that will sustain me for the summer, but anyone who flowed to my ipod fund knows i suck at mailing shit. in fact any one who didnt get what was promised should email me. i now have time to make good on your generosity.

and then come the fall i’ll probably just start selling my ass on santa monica blvd while wearing a dress and a blonde wig at the del taco.

whatever i do, i think im gonna take a few days off from the busblog this weekend. in two years ive done on here what i did at buzznet, pretty much work every day. even when i wasnt asked to, even when nobody cared. have i even taken two days off from this blog in three years? i dont think so.

some people like to jump into things full force. im one of those weirdos. some people get freaked out by that energy. me, my best times have been when ive given 100% on things i really know about. i knew how to be successful at buzznet. that is, i knew how to make buzznet more successful. maybe i will have a shot at making some other company more successful. or maybe i will have to just try to do something myself.

right now i have no idea whats next. none. and thats not the best feeling. i know it could be, but i dont have a bunch of cash to sit on. ive gotta figure something out soon. sux. although this might be a good time to head to the desert and talk to the spirits. or to isla vista and talk to the bikini team. or to vegas and talk to the elvises. or i could sell everything in this junky house and see what it gets. and then write an autobiography and start a new slate.

i do know that you guys will be here, and that is a blessing that not too many people have, and for that im so grateful you have no idea.

joe, it was nice sitting next to you.

they say only only two things come out of texas

but clearly more than that crawls out from under that rock since we have our brilliant president and now we have this brilliant email:

Tony –
Several Austinites said during SXSW that you were a total dumb fuck, but I defended you, said the blog was funny and you should be cut some slack as a poorly educated LA slacker (as opposed to the slackers HERE, where the term came from!)

Your take on the new Springsteen CD is funny. Your idea that he should be like he was on those “first three records he made” is even funnier.

Let’s see: how old were you when those first three records were made in the early 1970’s, Tony? Two years old? Three years old? Were you even born?

I don’t think you can begin to speak to what the Boss was like then or now, or what his personal musical and lyrical heritage was, or what his personal musical and lyrical journey has been.

You remind me of somebody who gets to be 25 or so and suddenly sees a slightly bigger picture than he’s seen previously and then BAM – you think you know everything and can tell people you’ve never known and will never know how they should do things. “Man, I saw Springsteen in ’85 and he rocked, why can’t he still be like that, because I want him to be like he was when I saw him as a teenager.”

You don’t know shit, as we say in Texas.

Dylan writes about dumb fucks like you in his book Chronicles, Vol. 1, by the way.

– Jackson in Texas

dear jackson,

first of all, i dont need you to defend me to your imaginary friends. infact if any of them have problems with me in the future, teach them how to type and have them leave me a comment in my offending post.

the truth is no one in texas had a problem with me during sxsw. least of all any austinites. i was kissed by roller girls, i was blown by college girls, i shared drinks with austinists, and i was smoked out repeatedly by local club owners.

hell man, even your fucking cops posed for pictures with and for me.

the only thing your so-called friends could have been upset about was they didnt have as sweet of a time those ten days as i did, while getting paid. im sorry they didnt have hot girls invade their hotel room and eat their roomservice, im sorry they didnt stay up all night and take pictures of dumbass movie stars, im sorry they didnt get paid to take pictures of top 40 bands and bottom 40 bands, and the real heart of texas, im sorry they didnt get to speak on any panels, or get stopped by the grim reaper himself who said tony pierce holy fuck i love the fucking busblog – somebody take a picture of us.

so if they were jealous, my condolences. hopefully they’ll live.

and btw – you dare call me a slacker? since 7/4/04 ive written 1,693 blog posts and average over 10,000 readers a week.

how many posts have you and your fake slacker friends written in less than two years, and what are their scary huge hits like?

im such a slacker that while in austin i even blogged drunk almost every night proving that even with a hand tied behind my back i could wipe the floor with losers like you who have excuse after excuse about why they dont post their brilliance.

and the kids loved it, almost as much as they will love this smack down.

if only your pappy slacked the night he stumbled home and climbed ontop of your fatassed momma.

so blow me. and blow yourself for not even mentioning one song from bruce’s new record proving you havent even heard it to know if im full of shit or not regarding my review you fucking emailer.

instead you wanna talk about my age. how old was i when the first three springsteen records came out? who the fuck cares? i was 100. i was 50. i was 69. i was eight. what difference on earth would it make? rosalita off the first record is still miles ahead of anything on this latest cold fish. or can i only have an opinion of the wild the innocent and the e street shuffle if i was in my 20s when it was released?

is this the texas logic that voted for bush as governor and then president?

maybe, perhaps, youve never listened to greetings from asbury park either. the crazy rhymes of blinded by the light, the passion of for you, the soul of spirit in the night, and the youthful idealism of growin up. show me where any of those elements are still alive in any of the last three records the boss has come out with. including the record you havent even heard so fuck you.

and please tell me that springsteen only got better after his third record, born to run – that he penned a finer american epic than thunder road, recorded a mightier anthem than the title track, or ever matched the theater of jungleland.

of course i loved the next three albums, darkness, the river, and nebraska which were all solid and wonderful. and its from that love of those three releases particularily the grittier tunes from that period – point blank, darkness, johnny 99, badlands, the river, drive all night, atlantic city, adam raised a cain – that i feel springsteen let us down on this so called folk record.

after you illegally download this new album you pathetic fool, listen to the piano that i talked about in my review, and tell me that it isnt passionless and robotic and generic and hokey compared to what professor roy brittan laid down on point blank, listen to the acoustic guitar on any of this new shit and tell me it sounds like that stark lonesome tone of johnny 99, and pay attention for one goddam minute of your life and hear bruces voice and tell me that this new record makes you even once say “holy shit bruce can fucking sing” like you did when you heard drive all night for the first time, after you finished sucking your mothers cock.

im sorry if you think that the seeger sessions is beyond reproach because its got bruce springsteens name on it or because tony pierce has an opinion about it different than people in austin who by the way got me sick while i was there making out with them. im sorry if you care more about the age of people or the names of people or the zip codes of where bloggers pay their taxes.

me, i just care about the music. i dont care that you eat out your brothers ass or vote for unbelievable failures or smoke shitty weed, i just care when talented geniuses lose it, not because they owe me anything, but because i think it can be prevented.

theres not a lot of people who could write the first six bruce springsteen records. and theres not anyone who could write a bob dylan record. but even you, even with your head up your ass as deep as it currently is, could have made this new quote unquote bruce springsteen record. which is why you defend it and why i call bullshit on it. and if you have anything else to say to me put it in your own blog that nobody reads.

my gmail account is for nudes of your momma. your whiny bullshit just clutters it up.

and before you apoligize, remember this, i remind you of no one. so save it.

nic + raspberry + amy + pitt + kanye west added to coachella

this is my last night in austin

with moka at sxswand im going to end it with a roller derby bout topped off with a punk rock show.

i will miss austin very much. this town has definitely made an impression on me, as have the roller girls, as has new live music, as has my body and soul.

its nice to know that i can outdrink outdrug outrock outkiss the kids half my age. its nice to know that i can keep up with the emos. its nice to know that i still might not have the looks or skillz of days gone past but i can keep on keep on working day and night.

its also nice to know that there are other warm towns in america other than islavista.

ive decided that im going to do a few things different when i go back to hollywood. im gonna see more shows. im gonna kiss more girls and im gonna apply to more grad schools. because deep down i would love to teach.

me and leah had a lovely brunch today. it was actually closer to a lunner but it was good. she had french toast i had tortilla soup and a chicken sandwhich. the main reason that we went there is because they have the strongest and smartest hand drier in the world. you put your hands under there and seriously 20 seconds later your shit is dry and as soon as you move your hands away it shuts off. almost like it has a direct path from the depths of hell right to your watery palms.

leah is good people and sometimes i shy away from meeting people who ive read on the web but she is one of those few exceptional people who come across way way way better in real life and she hasnt judged me for finding out the true busblogger who lies far more in this blog than she ever expected and is way dirtier than she ever knew. and she still likes me! how cool is that.

she got harassed by the cops as she was picking me up and they gave her a ticket for a bad uturn and i begged them to let her off the hook but i looked like an LA hoodlum so they made an example of her and popped her with a bad ticket.

meanwhile back in africa, christine j spurnikova wrote me to tell me how amazing it is over there and it made me miss her big time. shes doing good there though and getting used to lack of showers, she says.

ok so for the last time from the red bull house, this is your pal tone wishing you well from the lone star state.

sometimes ypour in the game

sometimes you are the game.

ive been coughting and fighting this whatever it is. but i cant say that ium not sick and i cant say i am,. im not as drunk as i should be but its not for a lcak of trying.

sara dan and i spent eight hruours drinking and smoking and rocking and walking and talking and doing all the good things.

it started at 33:0p and its 330a now and im luvimng you texass i know youre trying to beat me down but onw gooed thing about being old is y0u get tuffer. you knw your strneths and weaknessesss but you never know which the right girls are to kiss and the ones you should just hug.

i need a beer a watrr and some bed. nite/

hi babies im back. im black. and im better than ever. its 131p and whatever bug was in me is out. i drank it out of me, i blew it out of me, i poisoned it with rums and rums and baileys and waters. i sweated it out in the pits of tons of bands. i ate it out with tex mex thanks to asher, i walked it off thanks to dan and sara and chris and the pants.

last night at 930p all the medicines were fighting the bug and it made me just want to curl up and sleep the sleep of the just. but im not part of the just. im someone who is trying to be just.

im still looking for something. im still trying to prove myself, im still trying to find that little bit of little leaguer thats angelic and that huge peice of islavista thats wreckless and wild and wanting to walk down the street with a beer and a cheerleader and two smelly fingers.

so at 945p i was walking down 6th street along with so many other people and we found the cobrasnake snakebitten on the street and i took a picture we found tim from popsicko walking down the street so i took a picture i found 3428543894 chicks dressed slutty with their fake bakes so i said hi my name is dumbass and they were all hi tonyypierse and my little party and i chilled out in style at the Driskill hotel which if i ever become a famous writer living in a hotel all creepylike that will be my residence and i will let the ghosts watch me beat off and write and fuck and drink and i will let them in my dreams and i will struggle to be just.

but right now i will eat a snickers for breakfast and tell you abotu the bellrays.

theres a deepness to the souls of black folks thats different from the rest. and theres something even deeper to the souls of black women. particularily black women who are no longer girls but women.

Lisa Kekaula is tina turner returned from the dead. she wears high heels and a tight skirt and picked out her afro as big as she can upstairs at room 710 which is the backstage dressing room slash office at the club that asher owns.

shes a dark skinned nubian princess destined to be queen and the longer it takes her to get their the more emotional and wild and soulful her singing and performances get.

i was lucky enough to catch a show of theirs two years ago at spaceland and i was blown away by the mixture of punk thrash with her soulful vocals. and i was twice as shocked that somehow theyve upped the ante with something that can only be described as heart.

ms kekaula shook her ass, shook her cha-chas got on her knees, jumped on the stage and sang with the people and even bent over backwards to let us in on what soul music is all about while her band kept a steady beat and a tight rock melody. she told us cheer only if we wanted to only if we felt it only if it was true. and then she reminded us that clapping along helped us feel the spirit it helped us get into the groovy it helped us be one with the power of love.

and then she belted out a song that made us keep clapping because we wanted some of whatever that was. and if you ask me, that was the begining of the end to the evil that was inside me. yes i had been excorcised by rock n roll.

after the inpsiring and devistating performance i asked her to pose for a picture with asher and sara and dan and i was so nervous because she is really the real deal and all 50 people who were at the show knew it and the picture turned out blurry because i couldnt think straight and before she left i hugged her. she was sweaty i was sweaty but i did feel the magic and i wanted to hug the source. i had to. and i did.

i thought i was complete after the one-two punch of gogogogo bordello and honky but im often wrong and sometimes its great to be wrong about things.

way more pics of the show here