yes its been about a month since ive last posted

the site was broke. it took poor mark a while to figure it out but thankfully he identified it.

we had some cooperation with Canada and bing bang boom we are back on the air.

hi.

my name is tony. i am a podcaster.

i support the podcast by driving Uber.

over the last month or so i have been driving full time. it’s been pretty fascinating bc i wake up as early as i can in the morning and do as many rides as i can before rush hour.

once traffic gets bad i try to hide out in neighborhoods where i wont have to go to busy intersections or get on freeways.

once everyones at work i try to find places where people are bopping around doing errands or buying diamonds or something.

ive been getting a lot of students (as young as 12!), teachers assistants, nurses aides, and of course tourists. i try not to drive in the dark but now that daylight savings time is over thats gonna be harder to do.

i dont like the dark because its hard to see addresses on buildings and i worry about accidents and weird things. the other night i was working on finishing up a bonus and there i was in the nighttime in Hollywood and i was all, i need to get home. i got home. got the bonus. alls well, but i may have to start waking up even earlier, like 4am, so i can be done by 2 or 3.

the problem is 3pm-5pm is a great time to drive because none of the part time drivers are on the road then. they’re all at their real job, so surge prices kick in and i have my pick of whatever trips i want. but i also dont wanna be driving for 10-12 hours because its not good for my hands, arms, and back, all of which have been cooperating bc God is good and loves me.

 

today i have two interviews for Hear In LA. When im done i need to get the blog post started for Wednesday’s episode which is a wonderful woman who is about to come out with a book on Cults.

Monday and Tuesdays are my days off from driving but i need to do podcast things on those days. so i really dont have any days off. which is fine bc LA Taco is stealing, LAist is sorta stealing, and who knows who else will crawl out from under a rock to see if they can challenge what Jordan and I are doing.

But here’s the thing: they cannot really compete, even though they have way more money and people. They can’t compete bc its a job for them. something they do for money. im doing this out of love. Also i created this whole thing and they know they’re copycats.

John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band may have had a hit ripping off Springsteen but it was just ONE hit and Bruce went on to make many many more.

don’t be a Beaver Brown Band. life is too short. be original. do what you truly love. and no one can touch you.

i took the day off yesterday

and then half the day off today.

felt good.

i dont like that my hands and wrists hurt.

im happy im gonna have a vacation soon.

im happy people are asking me if i would like to work for them full time at decent salaries.

who knows maybe i can do one of those jobs AND uber

or two of those jobs AND NO uber

maybe i can pay off these debts no honest man could pay?

maybe ive suffered enough?

maybe ive paid my tab to society?

or maybe the universe has seen that i can sustain myself by driving around town and it’s all “oh shit, this fool figured out a cheat code. let’s give him a real job with cool ppl.”

my biggest goal is to be debt free in a few years. the pandemic and lack of fat checks and semi-supporting amber sent me into a hole that i thought i was gonna get saved from any day.

but that day had other plans.

thank God i have this Benz.

wrong again, tesla_eth

 

Uber bribes drivers w/ these 3:30am bonuses because
– 3:30am drunks puke in yr car
– 3:30am drunks want to fight you
– 3:30am drunk drivers are driving erratically
– 3:30am drunks ping you, pass out on a couch and type “Be Right Out”… but dont come out and you don’t get that bonus, you get $4 and miss that surge.

some usc kid left his vape pen in the back of my car

I was deep in the hood when I saw that I’d received a voice mail. Turns out one of the students I dropped off near USC left his $100 vape and $75 cartridge in my back seat.

Because young ppl are young he didn’t leave his phone number and Uber doesn’t make it easy to contact passengers – for your safety.

But my Waze remembers the last couple of addresses I’ve plugged in and his was in there. So I headed back.

Got to the apt but it had a code box. Apparently the building houses many little apartments. A student smoking on the curb let me in. But inside was another door with a code box. So I knocked. Someone came out but didn’t know the kid I was looking for.

Finally Uber let me call the guy. He said his friend would come out to retrieve it. When he did he was shocked I returned the valuable Stizzy and cart and said omg thank you.

I said tell your buddy to tip me in the app.

Hours later: no tip.

Lesson: don’t do things for tips. Do things because it’s the right thing to do. Also who knows maybe he’ll tip in the morning.

sweet saturday

I drove a couple less than 2 miles early this morning. It took 6 minutes and 57 seconds.

Because they had reserved a ride they were charged a premium, which I guess the driver keeps.

I was paid $37 to take them from one part of DTLA to another. They were not staying in a great hotel.
We talked about their child who they were visiting who had just graduated college.
An hour after I dropped them off in front of her building I received a notification that they tipped me an additional $10 and change, which meant I earned $47 in about 10 minutes.
This is not how things often go. On good days (which every day above ground is), I could be grinding from one side of town to the other for peanuts.
And weirdly even at 730am on a Saturday morning there’s traffic in LA. There’s ppl who will wear a mask but pull it down so as to not mess up their makeup.
There’s escorts wearing the most interesting stringed blouses sitting on their secrets tapping on their phone instead of talking to you.
And there’s people who will backseat drive you even though modern technology can tell you about an accident miles away.
After that fat ride I could have kept driving to see if the rest of the morning was going to continue to be fruitful. But at my age, and my cars age, and how sore my arms and hands are at the end of the week of driving, sometimes it’s good to call it a day at 8:30am,
plop on the couch next to the snoozing cats, and thank the Lord for the generosity of strangers and the concept of pure luck.

five grand

Every time I take someone to LAX I take a picture of Encounter.

Today I went 3 times.
The first was a Black urban planner from Detroit.
The second was a woman living in swanky PV.
The third was a stripper who did not one bit look like a stripper, she looked like the head of the Babysitters Club, acne on her cheeks and jeans and not even an interesting top.
In fact: she’s already graduated from a UC in art history, grew up near Calabasas, has only been stripping for 6 months, entirely in Vegas so to keep a down low persona, lives by the beach, and I should have known when her passenger name said Onyx and her suitcase felt
empty.
Her biggest night: a handsome rich guy from DC paid her $4k to hang out with her in the back and chit chat all night and hold his hand. No monkey business. He tipped her and extra $1k at the end of the night.

drove 8 1/2 hours today, made my goal

woke up at 6am because it’s been hot as balls.

got a bunch of requests for the airport but i didnt wanna go to the airport but everyones going to the airport at 6am

after a while i ran out of fuck yous so i said fine and took an airport ride

turned out it was two super cool lesbians, one who lived in chicago previously and one who was a great makeup artist.

around lunch i met someone from a notorious middle eastern country who told me not to believe everything i hear about her country.

VERY NEXT RIDE i got someone who worked in a mysterious branch of the government who told me she had lived in that very same country for two years and I SHOULD VERY MUCH BELIEVE EVERYTHING i had heard about that country

it was funny actually.

then my second to last ride was a dude in a Dead tshirt coming out of Canters who now lives in a neighboring country of said middle eastern country who teaches English there with his wife. They each make $50k doing it and renting their 3 BD house there only costs $600 a month.

Great, right? Beer costs $20 a six pack. PBR. and theres no weed, only hash.

he and i had a great conversation.

today i love life very much and i am going to try to forget about a Croatian 30 year old woman i picked up at a fleabag motel who i drove to a Public Storage near Compton who said she was homeless. who might have been plotting to roll me but who knows.

half hour later she tipped me on the app.

what?

i had a very good day

i drove for 8 hours.

picked up a lady with a walker

and her husband.

it took forever and it was really hot

so my car runs a little slower when im running the AC

but got them to East LA

to see a doctor

hope alls well

and it was just a check up

got to drive uber a lot today

best cubs jersey ever 16 lwllwww

some days im burned out. some im depressed at uber.

some im mad. some im beat.

today i went from over by my house, picked up a rich girl who was going to pasadena to chill with her pa then fly to eastern europe

was way out there so i figured how bad could it be, someone will wanna go back to LA.

nope. a chinese kid on summer break from the university of illinois wanted to go to san gabriel for real chinese food. hes from china. been living in champaign urbana for four years. i said youre doing the right thing.

uber has this thing where if you decline too many rides then you cant see where the next request wants to go until you start the ride with them.

i was in that situation in san gabriel. got a ping for a different chinese restaurant. i figured it was some nice old lady who had just had lunch and wanted a ride home.

nope it was an asian kid who spoke no english who wanted to go to chino!

uber has this thing where if it’s 45+ minutes they tell you that no matter how many youve declined so you can decline that if you want.

chino was 44 minutes away. in the opposite direction of LA.

i was so mad. but fortunately it was 1pm. i figured i could get out there really fast and get back to home base without hitting too much traffic.

and along the way i figured id teach this kid rock n roll history.

the metal years.

dio, scorpions, ac/dc, motorhead, maiden, ozzy were all represented. he just nodded his head.

zero english.

as we listened i thought, did this kid work at that restaurant? if so why was he leaving in the middle of the day? did he get food for his pa? i know the food is great over there, but chino doesnt have any good spots? i had so many questions.

at the end of the night i did something illegal.

but the people i did it for were so happy.

and relieved.

and french.

and they gave me $20.

when i got home i saw i forgot i left my whole chicken on the table.

maybe the angels knew it was undercooked

things are working out, thanks to the heroes in my life

healed

have i told you i love driving uber?

i do.

i think i may have figured out a little trick.

not sure how long it will last, but for now i love it and it has inspired me to drive more.

small problem: any time you have a plan, people, sometimes unknowingly to themselves, get in the way.

suddenly im getting all these little, but great, jobs. AND im learning how to uber/lyft.

murphys law, a beautiful woman is gonna wanna lock me down.

found this place where people make love right out in the grass.

how?

dropped off two passengers there, and their blanket.

it could actually be the beginning of a great horror movie

but

hung out a little with michelle m from the daily n who is now running the show for a non profit news org on the 99

because shes here for a work trip, the work paid for the palms thai, which she liked a lot.

what i liked was i got the leftovers

some of which spilled in the trunk as i ubered after

drove someone who came out of the dear evan harris musical.

its a musical!