the thing about florida is it pretends to be california

and it comes close, what with the warm weather and the celebs, and the palm trees and the latin americans. but its not california. thus it’s merely a place to visit, not a place to rock.

right now chloe sevigne and paris hilton and lindsay and sam and kim kardasian are all here romping around the beaches of miami. they are doing this because southern california are on fire and because im here and they wanna sneak into my holiday bungalow of love.

sorry charlies, im here with my family that i hardly ever see other than in the winter months. to the right is my lovely neice with one of the clam shells she purloined from the beach. she refused last night to put it back into her shell bucket while she ate her pizza. its vacation so why not.

she likes to wake me up early in the morning with a graceless knock on my door and a wake up uncle tony!

biggest house on the block and yet my bedroom door and bathroom is the center of attention. dont they know that theres a giant pool in the back? dont they know the hot tub finally got fixed. play some wii! eat some of the mountains of food we have.

but no, uncle tony is the star attraction for some reason.

heres what uncle tony has on tap today. work work and more work. then ive gotta return the chrysler rolls royce rip off rentacar. then ive gotta get some chinese food for the family. then ive gotta get some more doritos at the market because im blazing through the sole bag like a stoner at a midnight movie.

i’ll have you know that there are no illegal substances here other than powdered donuts, for the record. and i have stayed far away from them.

this morning i ate wheat toast and sprayed some butter on it.

and im eating peanuts. and drinking orange juice.

and enjoying msnbc which has a countdown bug that tells everyone that president elect obama will be the next president in 63 days.

breaking news: the nephew is running past to urinate in my bathroom.

maybe i should take some more video of all this nonsense.

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