i got covid, finally, shockingly

i could feel a scratchy throat on thursday and it only increased on friday

i had driven a week without a day off so i just thought i was exhausted

turned out i had gotten the thing i had avoided for years

was it the sweaty lady who was running late for work and wouldnt turn her head to the right when i called her and said “if you could just walk to the end of the block i would have to go alllll the way around the block and then turn around”?

was it the lady who coughed several times

what about the man who wanted the windows up the whole ride?

how about the new yorkers, one of whom sat next to me?

i did 300 trips in January. who knows it could have been all of them.

went to the doc today because it was close and cheap.

otherwise i was just gonna sweat it out with nyquil and benadril

they saw me almost right away, swabbed my nose and told me to check the website in two hours

when i did it told me i was positive

so weird. for some reason i thought it would be worse.

sunday i had to do 18 trips for the bonus. i could have spread it out until tuesday but that tickle made me worried. i coughed so hard and long that i had to pull over on sunday in dtla. i was dizzy.

my doc today told me sometimes people pass out or faint during coughing episodes.

if not for that moment i wouldnt have gone to urgent care at all but that was unusual.

right now im pissed about a few things. covid has made me cranky.

im pissed that i had a pysch appointment today at 5 but the lady canceled on me but i didnt know about it til 530 so i was sitting on the kaiser website for a half hour like an idiot. the appt was so i can get adhd pills, which i am hearing, are in short supply.

im pissed because my cats want to play a lot. do they think im dying? am i dying?

if im dying please gather together and complete hear in LA

today kpcc announced it is now going to be called LAist

which cracks me up

i should be sad, but im not

i should be mad, but nope.

dont be in awe, i am not in control of my emotions.

the only therapist ive ever had challenged me to examine my emotions. i told her i do not have their phone numbers or addresses.

i wouldnt know them if we passed each other in a dark alley.

 

today is ashley’s birthday, she’s 40!

do i miss her?

of course. i miss everyone.

this blog has been around half of her life. i wonder if she ever comes here. doubt it.

some people aren’t sentimental about me. some are. some are just mental.

pretty sure im mental.

20 years ago people asked what i had in common with a 20 yr old. weirdly, lots. now that i look back, it wasn’t so weird. some people just get along.

meanwhile some people who you’d think would get along dont at all.

ashley has recently married hubby #2 and is expecting bb #2.

she also has an excellent podcast with her bff anne called How do you Drew

it’s all about Drew Barrymore, which is how she and I met.

i dont listen as often as id like to because i have a podcast of my own to get out of the ghetto with.

something is telling me that hers is already more popular than mine

which is fine.

she’s a good person.

prayers for Damar Hamlin

i am heartbroken over a 24 year old player id never heard of before or seen or would recognize if he walked past me next month

today he was trying to tackle a guy, got hit in the chest with the helmet of the runner and fell, got up and fell again. he stopped breathing. for 9 minutes they gave him cpr.

he started breathing again and they rushed him to the hospital where he is now.

the league wanted to get the game restarted 5 minutes after he was being wheeled off the field.

players on both sides were crying. the announcers were having a hard time keeping it together too because the hit was hard but we’ve seen those a million times.

but this one was different somehow and the players walked off the field, the game was suspended, and after a while both teams said they weren’t going to go back out there tonight.

the league and one 71 year old talk show host on espn wanted the game between the two excellent teams to resume because of playoffs and blah blah blah but the players basically said are you kidding fuck you we’re going home.

and they went home.

except the guy who hit damar with his helmet.

he took an uber to the hospital.

 

 

tomorrow will be a challenge

tomorrow is new years eve.

i havent driven all week because theres been no demand and the prices are super low. so ive been cleaning my apartment – not very well – but making some dents.

i dont like driving at night. i dont like driving drunks. i dont like driving in the rain.

tomorrow promises to make me $300-$400 if i do it right.

the problem is is it will be cold and rainy. so will people even be going out?

in order to make that sort of moola youve gotta work from 7pm-3am and average $50 an hour. To do that it has to be surging $10-$15 from 7-10 and then $20-$30 for the rest of the night. Will Uber allow that?

one reason i didnt drive this week is the low demand might be due to tons of typically employed people doing uber during the holidays for a few extra bucks. if those people drive tomorrow night, those surge numbers go down.

not because theres not demand, but because uber will decide they can take a bigger cut until the drivers log off.

the prettiest girl said the nicest thing to me today about that she wants me to write my uber book.

it would be the easiest book to write.

it would also be an easy netflix fictional series, based on the book, but different bc tv is a different canvas.

and just imagine the guest stars that could hop in the back.

i took this picture after a glorious dump

on a crazy day where i drove damn near 200 miles.

im gonna do something a bit risky this week. im going to spend as much time as i can cleaning my apartment. my neighbors are out of town so the garbage bins are empty. i need to fill those bad boys up.

I want to spend a half day per room. Then a half day per closet. I have two closets where I really have to purge.

It’s a risky thing to do because i need to make money this week and by not driving instead of cleaning i am gambling that i can have a bang up night on New Years Eve, which is also a risky night because drunks and pukers and it might be slick road conditions.

so that is where we have to trust in the Lord.

who i know loves me

in part because when i think back at the people ive gotten to know over the years, i have been blessed sooooooo well.

it’s ridiculous.

im terrible at cleaning so lets hope i can do this as planned.

finally a hooker admitted to me what she was up to

for the second time this month uber did not offer me a weekend goal for a bonus so today i took long trips.

i nearly took one to ventura for $80 but what a commitment. what if you and the passenger(s) dont hit it off? most of the time i totally jibe with them but you dont wanna suffer like that for an hour if you don’t. mama mia.

little did i know i would do two, hour-long rides today.

one was with a prostitute who was going to charge the guy $900.

she had a mini panic attack when i picked her up at her place bc she was afraid i was going to drive off without her. i offered to go in my trunk to get her a bottle of water. she said no, im late, lets go.

i said, we found each other. you can relax now. you got the best uber driver in LA. all will be well.

we talked and talked. she was amped up and emotional. her stories were fantastic and sad.

halfway there she asked me to pull over at a liquor store if i didnt mind. typically i would have minded but she was really freaking out. she called me sweet for being cool about the impromptu stop and asked me if i wanted a Gatorade or anything.

sure, some m&ms.

when she got out i was able to get a good look at her. she looked like a typical college girl with tight jeans and a short leather jacket. not the uniform of what was about to happen. more like what a young lady would wear going with her best friend to a movie in a small town. nothing she wore said sexy.

when i saw her eyes it looked like she had been crying. she had very little makeup.

she pounded a mini bottle of vodka next to a light pole. put the empty on the curb and got back in and called her dude.

“remember i told you i get bad breath when i snort rails? so crazy.” she said to him, “do you have an extra tooth brush? i stopped off at the liquor store and got m&ms and totally forgot to get gum.”

because i turned down the radio so she could make the call, i could hear him. he was being really nice.

“oh yeah i understand. the same thing happens to me,” he said. “i have a spare tooth brush.”

i forget if i asked her or she told me.

jk i asked, “how much do you charge a guy like this?”

“$900,” she said with no hesitation. ”im a high priced bitch.”

do you ever worry the dude might be too rough on you?

“never. i have nails. i’ll scratch his eyes out and kick him in the nuts. i might seem like a softy but guess what, im a bitch.”

she did most of the talking as we traveled side streets across LA. she told me everything. too much. we even got into astrology. when she realized we were the same signs she asked me if i ever met a virgo with body dysmorphia.

i said in LA? doesn’t half this town have that?

do you? she asked?

i probably should but no. im glad i dont have rock hard abs. i want to know people like me for me.

i like you, she giggled. and told me about the love of her life who was obsessed with his body to the point he was spending hundreds on huge jars of wheat germ and nonsense at gnc and it turned him crazy which turned her crazy and he left her because he didn’t believe he deserved her.

when we got close to the spot she asked me to turn on the hip hop station on the FM radio. then she said, im not sure i want to do this.

i said, i can turn around if you want. i wont even charge you for the ride back bc its sorta near me.

she quickly called her bff who told her its gonna be ok.

he met us outside his swanky condo. he was tall, maybe in his 30s. seemed safe. she handed me a $20 and a $5.

you really are the best uber driver, she said.

and hour later she tipped me another $10.

never got those m&ms

do you know yr loved?

even me. crazy.

this weekend was fantastic. lots of driving including to this condo leaning over pch

i hit my goals, i went to parties, i drove in the rain, i did the things.

i drove every day last week because i didnt drive any days the week before.

today im taking a day off by writing for bree

and when i get distracted ill write the summary of the hear in LA year in review 2022

for some reason i forgot i took the first three months off of hear in LA

because i wanted to set a good example that we should be hunkering down at home

because of the black plague.

then we got back to things in march with a tons of episodes

im not sure if i wanna include LA Taoc and LAist doing a terrible job of being competitors but it was part of the story this year. they did announce they were gonna gank and then hedged. poorly.

yesterday i drove so many ppl because i didnt wanna try to do 29 rides on a sunday (because its damn near impossible) but thats what i was up against.

heres some ppl i dont wanna forget

these two little black kids and their aunt or sister who were selling chocolate in Beverly Hills

a singer from a death metal band who was going from rodeo drive to john varvados in weho

a 29 year old named Jane who had never heard of Jane Says or janes addiction

a bald gay guy who was waiting for me and i thanked him for being prompt and he said his mom takes hours to get out of the house so hes always tried to get out quick. plys he said, “janet youre 62 and still serving, relax.”

a guy who ran out of gas who had me take him to the beverly hills gas station to get a gallon  of gas. as i was dropping him off he asked if he could give me some cash to drive him back. i said no. who wants a gallon of gasoline in their car?

an apple executive getting some ramen in ktown

also ate latkas

took this lawyer from his mechanic to his office

it was from pico robertson to century city. i knew he was a lawyer. everyone in that area is if they’re old white dudes.

but i made him feel good. i asked, are you a talent agent?

lol no no, im an attorney, he said

it has been drizzling on and off, windy at night. theres some clouds. but the pretty fluffy kind.

clear skies. we talked about how when he first moved here in the 70s there was lots of smog.

“i dont care how much gas prices are in California, we pay for those additives that make the air clean.”

i agreed, with a caveat that i did not express.

(my issue with the high gas prices is it should be reflected in the uber fare, but uber refuses to raise their rates in LA, which are the lowest in the USA)

it wasnt a long ride. we chatted civilly.

then he said, “i have never driven with an uber driver with a perfect 5.0 rating. but now i can see why you have it.”

then he tipped me $1.01

being an asshole is easy

we shouldnt do the easy things. i mean you can if you want.

but the people i love are the people who are playing the advanced version

honors, AP,

some do it in an annoying way and im sure i annoy some and im not saying i am at 100% 100% of the time, but im happier when i am.

some also incorporate diet and exercise and reading and raising kids

and clearly im not playing that version of this.

im just trying to be good.

being bad would be so easy.

like i could make a rival to Disneyland if I wanted. anyone could.

Evil Land

where everyones mean to you and if you complain the fire hydrant says shut the fuck up and squirts you a little.

and the mascots chase you around

and the food is suspiciously delicious.

reasonably priced too

which is also weird.

for example beers are only $2 a cup.

“we’re Evil but we’re not Assholes” our tshirt would read

and on the back “beers two bucks.”

if you get enough people into a place you dont have to charge crazy prices for beer. make the food really good and get em there.

like what if the best sushi in all of LA was at Evil Land

but it’ll cost you.

at the restaurants there you can get one of two colored bibs: red or black.

if you wear a red bib everyones mean to you. if you wear a black one everyone kisses your fucking ass basically.

red bibs are $5, black ones are $10.

when you leave you get your picture taken next to a sign that displays what percentage tip you gave.

amazing bands at Evil Land,

but there are no good seats