bad news: Samuel L. Jackson today told the LAT that he might not play Nick Fury no matter what you saw at the end of Iron Man:

“I saw [‘Iron Man’ and ‘Iron Man 2’ director] Jon Favreau at the Scream Awards and we had a conversation. He said, ‘I hope things are working out for you because we’re writing stuff for you.’ Then all of a sudden last week I talked to my agents and manager and things aren’t really working that well.”

good news: ms ali miller (pictured) got to ask a few questions herself so stay tuned

bad news: a minnesota woman used finger nail polish, air freshner and a lighter to attempt to set her boyfriend on fire
good news: lindsay from minnesota (just a coincidence) went to dallas and partied with her sister

good news: theres a place where you can see 24 of eric cartman’s best moments
bad news: it takes forever for the page to load since theyre all on one web page.

bad news: flagrant still hasnt updated in three weeks
good news: keira-anna got pretty underwear in the mail

is they tell burglars when youre at yr mistress’s vacation home

every time i go hiking my body totally goes into shock. the first day everythings fine. great in fact.

next day everythings even better. sorta like “hey heres a bunch more energy than you had yesterday”

but somewhere along the line the body gets together and says “ok we have to stop this fool. this is worse than when he drank his way through college. this is worse than when he dated his way through grad school. this is worse than when he was on a drive-thru diet.”

and i start sniffling and getting “allergies”. my body isnt sore. in fact its happy. but my nose and lungs are effed.

i had the most amazing dreams last night.

this shadowy creature wanted me to be their valentine.

she kissed me and it tasted almost exactly like a sweaty pillow.

for no good reason all of the beautiful temperatures decided to hang out over here and check it all out.

whats your deal warm weather.
whats your deal relatively clear skies.
people will talk about the weather all day if you let em

now that football is over the plan might be to hike with karisa every sunday

last sunday was so clear we could see the ocean, long beach, even irvine.

if you were on the hill youd have also seen me go up the giant mountain way easier this time.

i have this thing where my body doesnt like to go up the giant mountain, because it freaks out at how tired it gets, and it feels old.

my body does everything it can to convince me that im not old. the giant mountain destroys such thinking and reminds me that im 102, period, point blank, as they used to say.

aftwards pizza reward will make you feel young again, though.

is a lot like being the only black kid in school in illinios, id imagine, which is one reason moxie and i get along so well

also cuz she wears the best clothes around the pool.

moxie was born back east where she found herself surprisingly attracted to black dudes. surprising to her folks to thought they raised her right, but not surprising to her heart, which knew what was up.

her parents immediately sent her to french boarding school which is where she learned the language of love, and her hidden hippie sensibilities.

something happened during her time at Cornell, though, because when most graduates were getting fit for birkenstocks and hiking boots, moxie began studying the philosophy of ronald reagan and it spoke to her. sure bill clinton was turning deficits into surpluses but she didnt wanna hear about that. wasnt enough trickle down in there for her. she wanted some supply side open market arms for hostage love.

i first met moxie at one of the first LA blog parties. she took me home in her porsche and believe it or not spent a platonic evening at my pad. trust me i made moves and trust me she said no in lots of different ways. it was cute. still is.

moxie turns 25 today and is easily the hottest woman in LA with a sarah palin bumper sticker on her race car than anyone else. much love to you baby.

moxie and tony dressed up for halloween

was to expound and reinforce the myths of hollywood, beverly hills, and southern california

longtime readers have seen photos from mansions, wild parties, rock shows, and heard tales from behind the velvet ropes.

but sometimes its also interesting to remove the facade and see LA for what it really is: a town probably a lot like yours.

the photo above is from the longest line in Beverly Hills.

some of you may remember that about two months ago there were supermodels here from Holland which JaG insisted that i show around LA. sadly i showed them how not to run a red light on rodeo drive. instead of getting a ticket, the officer gave me a fix-it ticket for my burnt out tail light.

after going through the very convenient LA Sheriff’s dept drive through vehicle inspection dealie, i had to then go to the Beverly Hills court to show them that the sheriff gave the thumbs up. that court had the longest line ever.

of course everyone wanted to tell the clerk their life story. of course everyone had major business to do. and of course i only had a paper to show and $10 to lay down.

and of course it took all of the morning to do. so yes, not only are the stars just like us, but so are the bloggers, even in the 90210.

not only did she look young, she looked really young. and her hair was so blonde.

and there was pink everywhere.

it was like fiction in the futures idea of what a teenage girl looked like back in the day.

she produced an ID when i asked for it but still

id rallied against the hurtful biases of ageism in the past, and yet there i was struggling with the concept that maybe she wasnt nineteen. maybe she was younger and maybe i was going to spend some quality time in the clark county klink.

so i didnt make a move.

i did nothing.

we rented charlies angels two. or was it one. who knows.

what they dont tell you is if you sorta ignore a girl who mildly craves attention, then she will love you forever.

one thing led to another and what do we have here, a daisy princess moving from vegas to southern california.

i could write a book about what happened during the years that ashley and i were doing whatever it is that we were doing. and maybe one day i will.

but for now lets just say that today is your girls 23rd birthday. and to celebrate all of the banks are closed around the country, all the schools are closed, no mail will be delivered, and the busses will follow a limited schedule.

what does she want for her birthday?

– the giants to cover

– a boquet of yellow roses (little known fact)

– two tickets to the He Just Isn’t Into You hollywood premiere

does she deserve it? probably.

maybe.

definately.

no.

i mean yes yes she does.

she deserves it all.

so do you.

however, here it is the end of the third quarter and it looks like the g men are about to give up another td to the eagles.

i know eli’s yr boy, but howya gonna bet against donnovan j mcnabb?

another little known fact? ashley was the only girl ever to call me her boo

a final little known fact? ashley loves the simpsons, so heres every couch gag:

according to E! via goldenfiddlr, banks agrees with me that benjamin button isnt very good. banks said, “Nothing f—ing happens.”

couldnt said it better myself

her whole style was.

sleepy spice, stony spice, scorpio spice.

kelly kissed me once and i started to speak wiccan.

shes gonna hang out at the coffee shop. shes gonna smoke all the cigarettes.

shes going to look better in a thrift store tshirt than the mannequin in the window.

people tell me about creeper pot, which you’ll smoke and you’ll think oh this is wack but then all of a sudden the high creeps up on you and before you know it you’re higher than youve ever been.

kelly was creeper hot.

you’d see her and youd go oh thats a nice lookin blonde (/blue/green/black) haired girl, but wheres the keg? then you actually talk to her and youre all omg shes sorta incredible

in a town of babes on many nights she was the babeliest.

in a town of rock stars, she dated the biggest rock star because you get more points for death

and in a town of video stores she worked at the best one.

it was called The !@#%ing Video Store, and they would answer the phone like that. kelly had no interest in the movies you liked and was probably creeped out by the porn you went in the back room to pick out and rent. she sprawled out on the couch, smoked, and eventually took your money as the smiths played on the stereo.

for some reason there was also a rock climbing wall inside the !#@#ing video store. it was not unusual to see people climbing while you were renting videos.

you never saw kelly climbing that wall.

their deals were great, their ads were great, but kelly was the star.

because the lord continues to love us, kelly has recently joined facebook and has uploaded a nice collection of isla vista era photos of you and yr friends.

looker up.

for some reason our group didnt take all that many pictures. so its always nice when people show up outta nowhere and dig up some sweet treasures.

sass: If you had to adopt a baby, what kind would you get?

id let my wife pick it out. packaging has never interested me. its all about content.

Just Me: If you have an awesome girl from the past show up at your house AND she happens to be an ex…how come to photos??

how come to photos? you mean how come TOronto photos? or you mean how come no photos? i think you mean how come no photos. ok some girls dont really like me taking pics of them. even some of my exes. also i cant find my good camera. also im not sure we were in the picture taking mood. we did see Benjamin Button. which neither of us liked very much. but yes i love her, shes rad, and i think shes coming back on sunday.

Josh: 1. Why is metromix being absorbed by the guide? I mean, really, what difference could firing a handful of talented people make for the man… 2. Should I give up on the seemingly outlandish idea of writing for pay, given the current circumstances? 3. What are you listening to these days? 4. When can I see your pretty face schlepping around these parts? I moved back to LA! The end.

1. i really dont know as i havent read anything official yet, but no matter the reason if its true suddenly you’ll have a nice team of people, who are all really good, working as one. a real live super group. did the brits complain when cream and zeppelin were formed? either way, anyone who gets to work with any of those people regularly feels very fortunate. i hope its true.

2. youve come to the wrong blog if youve come looking for someone to tell you to give up on your dreams. hell i got paid not just to write but to blog of all things. seems to me that there are more people reading and more people writing than ever in history so dont give up the dream, but maybe adjust what youre ok with it looking like. it might not being the guy who writes the Spin cover story once a month, instead it might be the guy who writes on Stereogum three times a day.

3. these days im listening to the weirdest collection of music: avril lavigne’s “girlfriend”, dinosaur jr’s “beyond”, tsar’s first record, matthew good “live at massey hall”, the ting tings, cypress hill’s “black sunday”, and the freaking Gossip Girl soundtrack. needless to say im probably more influenced by the women who come here and dance on my coffee table than i should be.

4. let me know the next time youre about to go a show at The Scene or at the Redwood. im usually minutes away.

Krista: off to top of your head, can you name a celebrity that you’ve met in person that was very different from your ideal image of them?

Bill Buckner was a dick, Molly Ringwald was tall, Elvis Costello was extremely nice.

adrienne: how come you weren’t nominated for best diarist?

first cuz this blog isnt any good. technically.

secondly cuz i hardly ever get nominated for any of that stuff.

thirdly cuz how is this incarnation of this blog gonna beat raymi or dooce in a popularity contest? or any contest?

jon: What do you now wish you were taught in school?

how to dance, how to change my own oil, rails, reverse psychology, audio engineering, self confidence, how to do my taxes, trigonometry, how to tell the difference between a shite and a sunni, and Spanish.

Don: do I ask my question here? or

yes you do.

PatZ: Will Lars Ulrich ever stop being a tool?

Lots of people are tools. Some work hard at it, some are just born that way. Some have no way out. What are they gonna do, buy a new hat? You shouldnt hate your local tools though because all they do is make you look better.

Rock stars however are a different story. Rock stars are supposed to be divas and ignorant and ridiculous. It’s part of the spectacle. Wilco’s fine but I’d rather be in Poison. you would too. therefore its impossible for a rock star to be a tool. infact if you’re such a rock star that your band sold over 100 million records and and and somehow you can release a record in 2008 and not just that but a metal record that sold two million worldwide, then you can act like a tool, but you cant be called one. it’s simply the way of rock. (see: nugent, ted)

bloopy: i saw the blues brothers for the first time in *years* the other day and noticed how much of chicago was in there. . . do people from chicago tend to dig the blues brothers (the movie. . . as in the original movie) as much as, say, people from alabama apparently like skynrd’s sweet home alabama (at least i’ve heard that they do)?. . . or is it more like just something they tolerate and/or don’t give a shit about?. . . or is this, unlike what my fluid mechanics professor once claimed didn’t exist, a stupid question?. . .

people from chicago think the blues brothers deserves and oscar. i believe it deserves an oscar And a grammy. not only does it have lower wacker and daley plaza, but it features the finest ball park ever – and implied that illinios nazis didnt know that 1060 w. addison wasnt where jake or ellwood lived. ferris bueller is also a classic, but the blues brothers showed off chicago better than any film ever. thank you.

Travis: Have you seen Zeitgeist yet?! The addendum is kinda strange, but worth a look…

nope. my a-d-d doesnt allow me to watch a film on my computer for that long.

-k-: $4 an hour to park on the streets of LA – A really bad idea or a really terrible idea?

its a fine idea if you also keep the subway open 24 hours. if youre going to punish people for driving and parking, reward them for using public transportation. in fact, how about using those new meter fees to pay for the subways extended hours. if i was paying a few more bucks for a worthy cause i would be cool with it.

Phil: I saw the movie Twilight last night and it was slow but ok. I cant work out if I liked it or not so, Tony did I like Twilight?

yes. you also liked the way you looked in that pretty dress.

Wayne: did you notice that The Pants returned this week?

one of the best things about rss readers like Google Reader, i think i knew minutes after she posted that she was back. i was so excited i made a sandwich because i wanted to savor it. i still havent finished it.

ironically probably the worst thing of 2008 was
the lack of pants.

omg scroll down and vote for raymi then ask a question in the comments

and omg maybe you should also wish Miss 604 (pictured) happy birthday!

k go!