#1 i am old. and not in a good way. old is supposed to mean wise and classy and debonaire. i cant even spell debonaire. im just old.

there used to be a time when i could wake up at 9:30am and talk and rock and dance and drink and walk around and run around and flirt and eat and argue and enjoy the good music and write about it on multiple platforms. and yes i could do it eight days straight.

tonight i sit here in my dull dough and my back aches and my head aches and im wheezing and ive been recovering for THREE DAYS. i didnt even drink that much! the good book suggests “dont drink till youre drunk.” i followed that advice on every night except for the one where janes addiction played the playboy party sponsored by our old bff jack daniels. and even that night i was able to walk home at 3am with no huge probs.

but man am i paying for it now.

i know theres this thing called sxsars but im indestructible. and i know i got sick for months three years ago when i was at sxsw and made out with some texas roller girls. but thats acceptable. being sick now simply because ive hit the wall isnt acceptable at all. its disturbing. and sad.

lesson #2. i see too many old bands.

my man todd taught me a lot on the trip. he taught me that hes a great writer, a great editor, and that the beauty of an event like sxsw is the opportunity to discover new acts.

yes its tempting to see the best guitarist in rock, j mascis, twice while hes fronting the original lineup of one of the best bands ever, dinosaur jr., but with 1,899 other bands in town wouldnt it have been more prudent to try to find the next j mascis? indeed isnt that sorta my job?

metallica was fine to see because i had never seen them before, but ive seen janes addiction a half dozen times, and even though theyre not new ive seen the grates almost that many times too. why wasnt i learning about more new groups like Tia Carerra and Valient Thorr? i truly loved seeing both of those bands for the first time. what was i thinking?

i wasnt, cuz when youre old you do things that lead to comfort. you book too-expensive hotels (that end up biting you in the ass), you fly in a cheerleader (because she has a perfect ass) instead of meeting new babes, you order room service instead of discovering new haunts, and you play everything safe safe safe.

when did i become so safe? what made me this way? was all my courage in my afro? if i cant blame myself who can i blame? bush was impeached – we now only have ourselves to point the finger at.

lesson #3. when the Lord said work six days and rest on the seventh he wasnt kidding.

which might be one reason he had moses chisel it in stone. not once did i use the hot tub. not once did i tour greater austin. not once did i go visit my friend ken’s new apartment or even see the very pregnant leah muse. those are the things you do on your day off. those are the things you do when you read the good book and follow the rules.
sickness doesnt hit you when you give your senses a break.

lesson #4. i have no business going to coachella.

i dont deserve it.

lesson #5. i probably shouldnt go to sxsw 2010.

with the money i spent this year, i could instead go to a club like spaceland, the echo, the viper room, or the echoplex twice a week, and bring a date, and buy beers and eat tacos with her afterwards and enjoy full sets from the headliners and opening acts -and i wont die of sxsars – and at the end of the year i would be able to see over 100 bands. new bands. small bands. up n comers. creative geniuses. and yes, i bet at the end of the year i would have “discovered” the next j mascis.

lessone #6. they dont teach you crap in high school.

lesson #7. i have lost my mojo.

and my personal style, and my inner lifecoach, and my individuality. i have become just like every other suburban neverwas. everyone knows stay away from stubbs at sx. everyone knows if you go there twice youre a douche who really isnt all that interested in new music. how many times did i go there last week, 2x. how many times did i go to japan nite? zero-san. i have sold out, i have let my nation down, my ghettocard deserves to be revoked.

lesson #8. stay cool with your exes.

the only thing i did right this whole trip was have one exgf drive me to the airport and have another one pick me up. start with loveliness and return to it. but they deserve better in their lives than to shuttle my black ass around. i should beg forgiveness.

lesson #9. i need to buy a serious camera.

the truth of the matter is im not always going to have the incredible access to all of the worlds coolest and most amazing people. likewise, i wont always be able to meet celebrities and rockstars all the time either. instead of music festivals i should get a professional camera and click that bad boy as often as possible. anything else is selfishness.

i will get better. i swear to you.

but apparently right now my body is in fullblown revolt as it cant believe that it went to the mecca of new rock

and all it got was this tshirt.

this is why the terrorists hate us. this is why the caged bird groans. this is not a love song.

im exhausted. i just realized my super exclusiveo video interviewo with the grates had a smear on the lens. and i didnt have a backup memory card so i couldnt ask more questions.

i really dont wanna write about metallica or dinosaur jr. or this horrible japanese act i just saw.

but i have to. this is where the rubber meets the road. this is where they separate the men from the boys. but boy am tired.

i just wanna take a long hot shower, sleep in my own bed. eat my favorite foods. and watch my own tv.

if theres one thing thats grossing me out these days its remote controls in hotel rooms. do maids even clean those? and where are peoples hands when theyre in hotel rooms? whats going on there? then they touch the remote?

ive learned a lot of things on this trip. ive seen a lot of people fighting and crying. couples mostly. people who should be in love while theyre out here but instead theyre yelling and arguing.

i learned that relationships are like shoes.

i have these super cool converse one stars. theyre low top, they look good, they feel good. for very short distances. like if i was going to drive to a show and park and walk a block and stand at the show and walk around the place a few times, then drive home, theyre perfect.

i also have these dg basketball shoes. they dont look cool. theyre high tops, theyre dirty, they slip on they slip off. i got them with my first paycheck from Look Look.

what i realized on this trip is there are some girls that are fine for short periods. they look hot or cute but, no fault of their own, they are not long time investments.

then there are those who are way better in the long run.

maybe i had just the right amount of vodka in my red bull last night but when miss austin was holding my hand as we past one crying couple after another i whispered their problem is they talk to each other.

but it was too loud she couldnt hear me.

so i esped.

lets not talk till we say bye at the airport.

she said you took the words right outta my head.