the beautiful julie van maldegaim sent me a three ring binder of all the letters i wrote her in high school

she had been keeping them all these years.

it’s a tiny bit cringey reading them because allllllll i talked about was the cubs

so im a little gunshy right now saying todays game was the best, most exciting one all season

which couldnta come at a more important time because cub fans are very nervous

because theyre gonna trade some of our favorite players, probably

even though they dont really have to

it’s just cheaper for them if they trade them right before their contract expires

that way they can get some young players out of the deal

otherwise they just lose them unless they pay market value.

the market value for the three guys whose contracts are expiring are about $20-$25million a year and most of them want 4-5 year contracts. So $400 million to keep them all

WHICH THEY SHOULD TOTALLY DO BECAUSE

• these players helped them win the world series
• are beautiful wonderful men of honor and professionalism
• are beloved by every single fan
• the owners can afford it because theyve built up all around the park including a swanky hotel, and all of it is bringing in major revenue in part because of these men
• for the last 4 years they haven’t had to pay very much at all for these guys
• the Cubs have a chance to lead the league in Coolness

in conclusion i am very sad i didnt grow into a gazillionaire