top of the fifth: soriano leads off with a single past the aging tejada. everythings about how old it is with him. hit n run hit at kaz. 4-6-3 double play. koske doesnt get a breake. d lee pops up a hanging curve for the third out.
bottom of the fifth: how is pence up? then who was the lefty before him? good thing nothing in here is true. whatevs zam strikes him out. michael bourne strikes out too. zams on fire now. hes warmed up. four ks all in the last two innings len tells us. two outs with the pitcher up. good time for a beer. its opening day! worm killer back at carlos. 1-3. cubs forverz.
top of the sixth: there was an ad for meynards. i wanna have to buy mulch one day. milton bradley leads it up. cardinals blew a two run lead in the ninth to lose on opening day. nelson says ha ha. white sox got snowed out at the cell. could it get any better? me and the editor of the paper watched a pitch or two of the dodger game. just to hear vinny to see if he made the trip to diego. si. made the mistake of telling him im in eight fantasy leagues. he said what do you do for your day job? whoops. good thing blogs are up 4x over last year. milton pops to pudge. im eating thai food. palms thai. aramis is down 0-2 with one out. lots of people in the stands with those great old 80s jerseys. why would you ever stop that madness? fouls another one off. pops to second berkman squeezes it. two down. fontenot is 2-2 today batted .240 last year. we got him off the sosa trade len reminds us. grounds to second. 1-2-3.
bottom of the sixth: lyle lovitt is at the game. he sang the anthem. someone brought their baby to the game. way too close to the field sitting next to lyle to bring your baby, lady. you know how easy it is to forget you have a baby at a ball game? kaz has a lazy check swing called a strike. even the cubs announcers are saying its a bad call. toldya he plays like a stoner. focus up bro! pudge is up. pudge takes a high strike, asks the up where it was. up says over the plate amigo. tomorrows no beer day in toronto. so unamerican. pudge whiffs. thats six for carlos. sitdown-ey is six in spanish. berkman is up. top 10 pick in all of my fantasy leagues. sure doesnt looks scary in the box. looks like hes sleepy. goes full then walks him. only z’s second walk of the day, but now carlos lee is up, grounds to the riot and we’re out of it.
top of the seventh. might have to turn the busblog into the cubs blog. see if i can get everyone totally not reading. soto grounds out. im eating spicy mushroom coconat milk soup with chicken and shrimp fried rice. ive lost 2 pounds since being sick so im also drinking a real coke. its buzzing me. so hi hi hi. the riot takes oswalt to a full count. drives one into right for a single. oswalt should hit the showers. zam swings for the fences on 0-1 did you feel the breeze in canada? strikes out on the next pitch. alphonso grounds out quick.
bottom of the seventh. they have dancing girls on top of the dugout at minute maid enron field. the marlins have that too, right? tejada singles to lead off. this coke tastes good. not hunter pace is up. its geoff blum. dum nam. ball four high. take him out lou. zam takes it well. people boo cuz theyre ugly. zam tips his hat which is french for you aint scored on my ass all day so eat it.
aaron heilman from the mets comes in with no outs and runners at first and second with the tying run at home. i want another coke. 6-4-3 double play baby. now head for the exits, tex-its. low hitting michael bourne up with a dude on third. fouls the third pitch away its 1-2. hit 229 last year. fouls another off. i drafted him cuz he steals like crazy and hes gotta hit better than 229 this year. just dont start today. high chop has no business being a hit but bourne is so fast hes on first before it even bounces back to earth. run scores. pinch hitter for oswalt who i will now trade for because hes such a loser. michael cotts comes in to relief the met. jason michaels is the pinch hitter looks like buddy bell. goes to 3-1, which is the score now. full count. cotts the lefty digs in, ground ball to the hole at short, the riot double pumps and throws out the rookie.