instead she likes another. which, i know, is impossible. i could tell you endless tales about him, but instead heres a few video clips that compare he and i. please enjoy.

him on letterman

me on letterman

van halen with him

van halen with me

me ghost riding my whip

him ghost riding his whip

what he hears when he watches obama

him buying you a magazine

sex with him

one touch from my pinkie under the blanket while we watch tv at yr parents house

to be continued