tried to do it online but they make you call

so i got on the phone and the lady was nice

was from the midwest but lives in orange county

for some reason she tried to make that the reason why i would keep cable and my landline.

i pay $245 a month for those two plus internet.

so i called to find out how much just internet is.

i have very good internet.

what i was thinking about doing is just going internet and trying out the YouTube or Sling or whatever package that gets you like 40 channels for $35, but you need internet to make it happen.

the lady asks me all these questions like what do i watch.

i say i pretty much just watch Rachel, PTI and the most hardcore porn you could imagine.

she wasn’t paying attention.

she tried to move me to a smaller assortment of channels that would knock my bill down to $199 a month and i was all, yeah nah.

and then she said, oh i see something, you have 300 mbs and you say it’s just you in the home?

i said yep.

she said, well thats far too much for just one person. ten devices could be sharing that.

heres a few things no one should ever say to me:

im cancelling our date

why do you eat so much fast food

Cubs? oh did you jump on the bandwagon last year

i would like to slowly murder you

these gentlemen are here to slow down your internet speed

so i told her to transfer me to her boss and we agreed to just basic channels and then leave the internet alone for $120 total.

now i gotta buy a tivo.