shes the only one who talks to me

and i only like to talk in hottubs.

she said i know you have a secret blog and im hurt that you wont tell me where it is.

i said baby trust me if i had a secret blog youd be the first to know about it.

she said but wouldnt you have a blog so you could write freely about all the other girls

i was all sweet miracle from Above, not only arent there any other girls, but if there were why wouldnt i just write To them instead of in secret About them.

the record player made it to the end of the record. the tone arm rose up a tad, glided across the top of the platter and waited.

a new record dropped ontop of the finished one, and the arm moved over a bit, slowly lowered, and the needle found its groove and music returned to the dark room.

outside the tub bubbled.

and they continued.

i just dont want there to be any more secrets, she whispered and watched the bubbles form around his muscular midsection.

bloggers arent known to be so cut, she thought, but this one, damn it, what a man.

he caught her looking at him. he was uncomfortable being loved for his body.

but he was growing used to it.

this weekend the truest and i spent the weekend together.

we ate out a lot cuz i dont like her to cook when we’re together,

but yesterday morn she woke me up with some tofu bacon which i gotta say wasnt half bad

but it was nothing like the real crispy bacon we had at CJ’s on Pico on saturday

CJ’s is a place frequented almost completely by african americans

but run by mexican americans, who are also the cooks.

so when i ordered apple juice they asked “would you like fresh squeezed”?

who doesnt want fresh squeezed?

turns out they gave me a horchata. first one i ever had.

and not half bad either.

and that made someone sad n gray

it made her lil teenage jailbait runaway bff sad too

fortunately robin from the hood was around to save the damn day

how was the film? im a little surprised the Tea Party hasnt adopted it as one of their own

imma miss yr girl when she flies back to the easten coasten

to hear Dio is in a better place

so sad i never heard him rock live either, but tenacious d, at least immortalized him

and omg i had soul food breakfast this morn

and omg i got some tights so im ready for robin hood for movie club

lol

1. since when did doug kreigel move from knbc to keyt?

2. i love him, but why did they get the oldest guy on staff to do that story? for humor? ok then its funny.

3. why do you need 40 cops to handle a non-floatopia day?

4. why arent i mayor of IV yet?

5. do you believe that last girl saying she hasnt been drinking? love her.

i bought my mom a wii for mothers day. from amazon.

about a year ago i realized i bought a lot of things from amazon so i signed up for their Prime deal, which allows you to get free two day shipping on anything in their warehouse.

Prime cost $79 a year. and its gotta be good for amazon because you end up buying about 79 times the amount of stuff you should be buying from them because everything feels like a deal since its free shipping and it gets to you fast.

recently i bought a six pack of my favorite deodorant, a three pack of my favorite body wash, and some of these toilet scrubbers i like from amazon. normally youd buy em at Target or whatever, but you dont always think of those things when youre at target. plus its free shipping so why not.

what it does is it gets you thinking about amazon all the time. so when i wanted to get my mom a wii i figured i could go to target and put it on my target card, i could go to best buy and get those reward points for getting it from them, or i could get it from amazon and theyd ship it free and id skip a trip to the post office.

plus for $5 theyd gift wrap it. now i dont know about you, but im a dude, id much rather tip some kids at the mall $5 to wrap my gift than actually have to buy all those supplies and do a crappy job. so amazon gets the $5 tip instead.

mothers day comes and goes, no package. i asker if her nice neighborhood has gone bad, and shes all offended. well thats good. but no package? i ask her to look around back to the deck, to look under a bush, or ask a neighbor if maybe they are holding it for you.

negative on all counts.

id never called amazon before. so i forget to call them on weds, and thurs. here we are now more than a week after UPS allegedly dropped in on her porch. suddenly i was afraid that not only wouldnt amazon ship out another one, on them, but theyd blame me for waiting so long to call them.

so i go to amazon, they have a “call” button that you click. but first you plug in your phone number and after you click the button your phone rings and its them. wth? i got a lady who was clearly in a foreign land but she was nice, she apologized like a half dozen times, she put me on hold and called UPS, she came back and said they swear they delivered it but theyd “investigate”, and she says

we will have a replacement wii sent to your mother’s house for free.

no fuss, no muss, no weird paperwork to fill out. just “okey dokey you’re a prime customer and yep you buy a lot of weird crap, we can see from the gift wrapping you paid for and the cheesy note you wrote you love your mom and you sent her a wii she probably wont even use, so sure, this ones on us and we’ll try to squeeze it out of ups on the back end.”

im paraphrasing. and now i trust amazon even more than i trusted them before. they are a very good organization who always gets me my crap fast and maybe if i ever publish that childrens book for christmas i will actually let them sell it for me, something i never did in the past.

k, now i gotta finish cleaning my pad so a friend of yours can have a comfortable stay here this weekend.

not only did she find some black cock, but im glad to see she has a little theme going with her travel reportage

update on the diarrhea situation: still dire. anton has begun utilizing the poop hose. (spray hose that is in like every bathroom instead of toilet paper.) the diarrhea has reached unwipeable levels.

life does have a nasty way of balancing out the joy of our lives. whatevs. keep rockin you crazy kids

i think i do, but i cant get into it now.

but one thing that is definitely a problem that is working its way out is movie attendance.

not that people arent going to movies in droves, of course they are, its just that people arent going to as many movies as they would probably like to because theres this whole stigma and embarrassment about going alone.

my coworker Jevon and I realized that we go to movies almost every weekend. and because we’re confident brothas, sometimes we go alone.

so we figured out that we should make a cheesy-ass Movie Club.

which is what we’re doing.

Saturday.

Regal Theatre.

3:45pm

Robin Hood.

wear tights.

is now coming out in favor of Gay Marriage and Abortion Rights

dont you think it would have more courageous for her to say these things during the eight years that she was in the white house?

what is it about being in washington dc that makes people clam up about the things they feel passionately about?

simple things like human rights?

but at the same time they have no problems going to war or demonizing people.

power is a freaky thing and as a Christian, i find it interesting that these people attain power in part by leaning on their alleged Christian beliefs, but then totally hide a part of their heart that they know would affect the world if they revealed.

personally i think courage and honesty is a vital part of Christianity.

not honesty like “oh i never told a lie” but honesty like “i know you think i think these things, but in truth, i think the opposite.”

of course being the First Lady isnt an elected office, and she isnt burdened by any responsibilities in that role to run around stating her opinion on things,

but gay marriage and abortion are two topics that, im sorry, arent things that you should really sit on your hands about when youre in even a symbolic position.

because to me, sitting on your hands about things that youre passionate about is lying.

and baby i will never lie to you about important things. which means although you may not like what i say about certain topics, i love you enough to put our relationship in jeopardy in order to express the ugly truths. because to me, thats when important change happens and our love for each other solidifies.

to me thats what being an American is about, and certainly what being a child of God is about.

with that said, for some reason i still like Mrs. Bush even though i disagree with pretty much all of her life choices. but i dont think i will be reading her book because i cant say i completely trust her or her public personae.