no not her, her.

im drnuk. ive been rdinking for two days. drinking and eating. eating meat. bef. steak. ribs. tacos. today i had the most bedishoush tacos. ik also djed dan and saras wedding. all my friends have wonderful weddings. dan had his galstone out two days ago, and tonight he partied as long as everyone.

poeople liked my music except the people who worked there. they wanted me to stop. this old lady wanted ome to stop too. everyone kept talking about noise ordanences. i kept saying i thought this was texas i thought this was america i thought everytghing was louder in tesxas. i thought freedom run. i thought the bells were from hell heree. i thought texas were the national champs. i thought we were deep in the heart of texas.

they said yeah yeah but its ten pm and its sunday nioght so youve gotta stop that dj miusic.

but sara said bring it inside. so we set up in side and played the beasties and a whole lotta other sweet shit and everyone danced and jeanine flashed me her tits and that woke me up a little and no wonder djs are always smiling, the girls flash them.

sara couldnt have been more beautiful. dan wcouldnt have been more handsomee. saras brother and half sister cried as they said swet things on the mic. it was nice. sara it turns out went to harvard and a bunch of her hardverd friends were there. they didnt dance.

some old fashoiney guitar player played with his band and i think he plays with waylon or merle or somethone he was great. efverytghing was great. the wedding was super fast. the dancing was sporadic. im still drubnk. leah had to work, but she and i are gonna have Waffle House tomorrow. then back on the plkane,. then back to work. if youve noticed i travel a lot and work a lot anbd party a lot. abd people aske me what i do for bvuzznet how my life is whats going on and i never know what to say.

rock is the only answer

i eat shit drink shower and rock.

and then write to you.

and i really suyper a[[reciate all the sweet things that you all wrote in the comments of the last post, but i didnt write you to get all of that loive – i just wrote that this morning so my mom wouldnt be afraid that my plane crashed. i havent missed a day of bloging in a long time and i fklew on satyurday and somethimes she catches up on the busblog on weekends. sometoimes she worroies.

so anwyyays why did i wantt to go to grad school – so i could leaqran to write better and so i could then be qualified to teach someowhere., namely ucsbnn.

and yes i will apply aagian there. and maybe one or two other place.s but thanks so much for your sweet notes.

some pics of austin/partying more to come

so i dont write on april 22nds any more

hes 79. so when my favorite magazine, Black Webmaster, called me up today to interview me because they had realized theyd missed my 6-month anniversary of working at Buzznet, i told them that i wasnt interested in any interviews today since it should be a day held in awe of the dog named tom.

but tony, we love you and we want to look back at the accomplishments that youve made for our favorite photo and video sharing community.

i was all, you people are stalkers. its almost creepy.

they were like, but how many Bloggers get hired to blog and stimulate growth of websites these days?

i was all, lots. some who actually get paid huge sums of cash.

there were unmoved.

i was dude andrew sullivan got hired on to blog at Time, Glenn Reynolds and Charles Johnson got hired on over at the Pajama game to spread the good news, those two dudes were hired to take over for ana marie cox at wonkette, hell even bro from blogebrity was hired to write about gossip in the sillycone valley. valleywag or some shit. bloggers are being hired in bunches.

and then they pulled the race card and said, yes but how many are Black?

i was all, todays tomdogs birthday.

silence.

i was all today tomdog was born to two lovely people who never thought that their son would grow up to be anything more than a bass player in a legendary isla vista trio. Rogue Cheddar ruled and a lot of that had to do with tom holding down the bottom. as jesse jackson once said you can have a basket of apples but if the bottom of that basket is weak the apples will get rotten and the rottenness will rise to the top.

they asked, reverand jackson said that?

i was like of course fools.

tomdog hasnt been on buzznet for even two years now and this morning he woke up and posted his 6,000th picture. but whats even more remarkable than that is at last count he’s made over 54,837 comments.

everyone loves getting comments and tomdog has given more than anyone in that small period of time. close to 8 gazillion a day.

Black Webmaster asked if i was done and i said no.

i said tomdog is a proud parent of two, i believe. he keeps in shape by running triathalons. and he purifies water for the poor with his two bare hands. by magic.

he has a blue ox named babe and a penis the size of a winebago that does his work for him as he comments on peoples buzznet accounts. he understands and knows fine music as well as foreign films. he cheats when he arm wrestles but in a very polite way and will accept ious for your gambling debts. and he can ride a bike.

Black Webmaster said tony how many comments have you left while at Buzznet?

i have been a loyal member since 2003 and ive given 1,287 comments because im very mean and a part time slacker. which explains my lack of triathalons as well. finishing them that is. ive started quite a few. i ride to the corner and get a 40 ounce of olde english and forfeit the race out of protest.

Black Webmaster asked tony how many hits have you brought into Buzznet in your six months being employed there?

i said about 11 million.

Black Webmaster gasped. so i didnt tell them that it was probably closer to 12 million than 11 million.

they asked how i did it.

i told them hard work, knowing the web, knowing the blogosphere, knowing popular culture, and having the ability to work very long hours, mixed with the freedom to experiment in any way i saw fit.

and then George Bush who had been listening-in called out Bullshit and hung up.

and then hopefully ran out and sent tomdog an e-card for his big day.

tomdog + tomdog + tomdog + world famous tomdog bug

regarding today’s New York Times story about the FDA

my piece + thoughtmechanics.com + the ny times story + bugmenot

and an hour ago it was 420 on 420 and if i was still doing what i had done for ten years straight i would have tried to figure out a way to get home early so as to “celebrate”.

being off the pipe hasnt been a very difficult process. the very begining was rough as it was a habit as opposed to a chemical dependency. there are times when im bored and i think to myself, gee a huge bong rip would be so good right now, but because there are no huge bongloads laying about my many mansions i just go about my day and the feeling passes within minutes.

maybe it was easy for me to quit because it was on my terms and i stopped because the weed wasnt working on me any more. its a lot easier to stop something thats not giving you a high than it is to stop something thats stoking you.

has my creativity been effected? i think so. i dont feel as inspired as i used to. but big whoop, im still never wanting for things to write about, but those days of getting baked and twenty minutes later jumping up and yelling OMG I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA! are over. which isnt to say that those so called great ideas werent simply stony falseties,

however when i interviewed the escalator i didnt have all of my wits about me if you know what i mean and the kids seemed to like that one.

the good news is i dont pass out at late movies any more, and ive lost about 15 lbs thanks to not eating so much in the wee hours. im also not drinking as much soda and im not spending hundreds of dollars on buds and worrying that i’ll get caught and kicked out of my sweet bachelor pad.

funny thing is i hadnt been sick for the last four years until this spring – after i had quit smoking blunts. and now i still have traces of the nasty bug i got after making out with the texas roller derby girls. so not only do i believe marijuana to be a medicinal herb, but it looks like it wasnt a bad preventitive aid as well.

and in a perfect world the people would rise up and remember that the government is there to represent us, and work for us, and if we say that weed should be legal then it would happen and those who didnt represent our wishes on capitol hill would be fired.

instead we walk around like stoners instead of leaders and somehow wait for them to get it together, when indeed its us who need to get the country’s act together.

w doesnt want to help those in new orleans cuz theyre black? fine, we’ll help them. and we’ll start voting for lawmakers and representatives who will help those in need.

and some of those in need are cancer patients or folks with MS or people like me who had serious eating disorders and stomach problems who found solace in the magical plant. some people really do use certain cures for the right reasons and then for the wrong reasons and are able to ween themselves from them.

and others need a little more help.

im here to say that it was a peice of cake for me to turn my back on pot even though i still love it, even though i still love the way it smells and looks and tastes, and even though i still love the way it makes me feel.

and since i know im no better than the next person, i can testify that its a safe herb for most people who arent operating heavy machinary. and it should be legalized. and taxed. and exported.

duh.

joe + heather + couch + shop isla vista + via koganuts

senior dumbass! me! look ma, im part of the cover story in the LA Weekly called “L.A. People 2006 – Who we are: An introduction and index of the profiles.”

Some Los Angelinos featured include Ed Asner, Jack Black, Larry Clark, Shepard Fairey of Obey/Giant, Hal Fishman, Luke Ford my man!, Brett Gurewitz of Bad Religion, my favorite producer ever Rick Rubin, Fred Segal, Sarah Silverman, and our very own mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

How the hell did i get in that company?

Lord only knows. But i do know i wouldnt have even been considered if not for you and you and you and you and you. so gravitas.

The Blog That Refreshes
Tony Pierce

By SCOTT STERLING

“BLOGGING IS WEIRD,” ponders Tony Pierce over the phone, talking about www.tonypierce.com — equal parts diary, music magazine and “personal experiment,” as he puts it. “About a month ago, I lost my iPod. So I wrote on my blog that I needed the money to replace it. I said that if only 20 people sent in $20, I’d have enough. In less than 36 hours I had the money. The iPod I was replacing had been bought by them as well.”

Pierce’s fiercely personal blog has that kind of an impact on its growing legion of readers (around 2,000 a day at last count), which is especially rare considering that he’s “not a chick or someone just hitting you with pop culture and gossip.” Waxing eloquent on everything from the 10-year anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide to his highly opinionated activities on a Coachella message board to a recent weekend spent in Toronto celebrating the birthday of his favorite blogger, Raymi (www.raymitheminx.blogspot.com) ­— paid for via a reader’s travel-agency connection — Pierce has blazed his own trails. Other popular site features include quirky interviews (such as a famous conversation with a broken escalator) and photo essays of Los Angeles, which, in Pierce’s hyper-real way, amplify the beauty, chaos and general insanity of the world around him.

It’s been five years now, and Pierce has earned his place in the blog hierarchy the old-fashioned way.

“People would try to call me out in the comments section of the page, and I just took it to ’em,” he remembers. “We would go back and forth until I’d finally squash them. It was like being an opening band that’s determined to rock you no matter what. I basically demanded the respect, and I got it.”

Crazy thing is i barely remember any of that interview since it was done via cell phone as i was rushing to work.

Speaking of which Happy 4/20!!!

rob t + matt c + isla vista

as his boss was at being President.

but to be fair, being part of the daily coverup(s) in the White House is a tough job even if you arent closeted, weak, spineless, dimwitted, slow, dull, lacking, and completely full of shit.

what this administration could have used was someone who knew how to sell an idea. they didnt need anyone any good, but they could have used someone.

luckilly for the president the press, for the exception of a very small group of actual professionals, have acted as if theyre still in shock at the amount of malarkey that gets shoveled down their throats to actually stand up and call bullshit.

david gregory does it, helen thomas does it, keith oberman does it. but thats about it. the rest of them are really no better than jeff gannon who gladly bends over for this group of charlatans, theives, bullshit artists, murderers, torturers, and drunken hunters.

therefore scotty mcclellen was all that was necessary to throw out in front of the toothless corps.

he will go down as a sorry excuse for a man. more boyish and fey than manly. i cant imagine any hair on his chest or muscle mass, let alone a set of nads. but thats typical with his associates.

he lied to our faces. he stuttered as he thought, he looked around as he spoke, he seemed to have something else on his mind like what karl rove had instructed him Not to say as opposed to what he wanted to say.

again, he wasnt much different than his boss.

catching liars at work is a pretty easy gig. you watch them repeat the safe phrases, you notice how they dont want to continue on the topic at hand, you listen as they tighten their assholes as they speak. you take a drink for each time they blink.

if he wasnt in a past life scott mcclellan would have made an excellent towel boy at at the mens sauna at an all-white country club. he would have brought a fine glass of lemonade. he would have been the boy most unlikely to fuck your daughter behind the elms on the 7th tee.

he probably got good grades, was throttled after school, and folded his underwear before putting them away.

the Lord hates liars though, but for some reason i predict that mercy will be shown on his soul for the hell that it must have been to be the epitome of the tool that he was forced to be after ari stepped down to avoid prison.

i predict scott will choose one of two paths in the near future:

a clean suicide in the bathtub of a fancy hotel in singapore after a week of drinking drugging and buggering.

or a downward spiral into madness in a small apartment in iowa as the doors play on repeat and the local chinese place is instructed to come to the door at noon and at six each day.

what we have seen is probably the worst job performance of any man since his boss, or his boss’s boss, the vice president, but fortunately for scotty in a few years nobody outside of the blogosphere or the beltway will remember his name and if he wants he can grow a moustache and be a substitute teacher in the ghettos of some urban hell in texas.

which im sure will seem like a vacation in comparison to where he just was.

personally i hope he grows a pair and writes a book about how he and karl held hands alot and discussed the irony that this administration sold out their own to get re-elected only to completely fail at everything that they attempted in the second term other than packing the court.

march on, priveldged white male who sucked at his job, march on.

a video collection of the best/worst moments of scotty’s era

never did i expect that there would be even the slightest modicum of controversy here on Baseball Blog 2002, but apparently you cant get away with calling John Rocker a racist these days without getting called out, and you know what, that’s fine with me.

i have the most intelligent, insightful readers here on this page and for that im grateful, but bro…

i dont care how drunk the reporter got Rocker, or how many drugs he fed him, or whatever the Rocker apologists are saying that has convinced some that the lefty was hoodwinked by the “big city ‘Sports Illustrated'” reporter back in December of ’99, but unless youre a brain-dead cocky redneck, naive as all hell, you do not, under any circumstance say these sorts of things to any reporter:

“The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. I’m not a very big fan of foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?”

And you certainly dont call your African-American teammate, Randall Simon, “a fat monkey,” and not expect a few people, including yours truly, to assume that you’re a piece of shit racist.

I don’t care too much about what the mayor of Atlanta, Andrew Young, had to say about Rocker and his family, I don’t take too many things that politicians, even accomplished ones like Young, say in public, because, unlike Rocker, Young’s job is to say the right things.

I care about what guys like Simon had to say.

“I swear to you if he said that to my face I’d tear him up, and one of us would be suspended right now,” Simon responded in 2000.

Here’s something that might surprise you, though– as a proud African-American male, I couldnt give a shit if John Rocker was a racist, homophobe, redneck, 6’4″ bully, who’d been pampered and excused his whole worthless life because he was born left-handed.

If I had a baseball team and he could throw strikes and get people out, I would hire him to play on my team. It is not my job to tell people how to think or act or what to believe in, if I was a GM or a team president, I would say, “yep, I got the racist in the bullpen and I hope he strikes out the stoners that he’ll face.”

I am proud to be an American and live in a country where guys like Rocker can spout their ignorant mouths off and where millions of fans can give it right back to him. I thought it was wrong that Rocker was fined and suspended for his statements. The public wrath was plenty.

No, I dont think he was a victim of the journalist who drove with him through Atlanta as he reeled off a series of slurs that you’d expect from any number of southern-bred frat boys. I also dont think he was a victim of the surroundings where he grew up in. I think he was a victim of having the inability to listen to the best pitching coach in modern history and the victim of having the inability to learn from some of the finest pitchers to ever climb the mound.

Do I care that many – mostly white – fans came to his defense when he came under constant fire for speaking his mind about “queers” and “foreigners”? Not at all. I fail to see where a pitcher who had two decent seasons could inspire someone who was not already a racist, sexist, ignoramous, to aquire those beliefs.

Am I happy that he has struggled mightilly over the last few seasons? Fuck yeah.

Why should I want to see someone so hateful, predictable, and juvenile prosper and become a rich and famous in the very country that was made stronger by its diversity?

Be they Asians or Koreans, Vietnamese or Indians, Russians, Spanish people, or thick-necked goons, this country has become the best place in the world because of (not inspite of) the melding of cultures and differences in thought – but that doesn’t mean that I have to root for assholes.

The nature of competitve professional sports doesnt always reward or breed the gentleman, but there is no reason why we should champion the intentional imbecile.

And despite my learned reader who might think otherwise, the only person who fucked John Rocker was himself.

Which, ironically, was the advice I yelled to the reliever from the stands not too long ago.